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Rules for the sidelines How to be a better fan and parent:
- Stop hollering. That's the coach's job, and you'll only confuse the players. Besides, with younger children, you're wasting your breath. Few 5- or 6-year-olds understand the concept of a team, much less admonishments such as "Stay in position!" or "Take the low post!" Says Dr. Dilip Patel of Michigan State University, "No matter of yelling or instructing is going to change them."
- Avoid the negative. Try not to make negative comments, and keep cheering whether your child is playing well or poorly.
- (Try to) look relaxed. Psychologist Jim Taylor advises parents on the side-lines to sit and try to seem relaxed; appearing tense will distract your child. Also, wear a hat and sunglasses, Taylor says, "so they can't see your gnarled expression."
- Skip the postgame analysis. After the final out or whistle, give your child a hug and praise his or her performance, says psychologist Rick Wolff. Remark on a specific play he or she made to show that you were paying close attention. But resist the temptation to critique a child's performance in detail. "Let the kid relax and enjoy the moment," Wolff says.
-- Timothy Gower
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Philosophy
Westmont Wildcats was created to provide a thorough learning environment so that participants can develop an understanding of the game of soccer that will create future opportunities.
Competition at the highest level requires that this level of training be provided. Training, coupled with a high level of competition are what the most clubs, such as the Westmont Wildcats, are providing. We're giving the appropriate training for each age grouping and team. Each team will play in the most competitive league available. Acceptance to leagues other than the NISL is based on past performance and openings in the league.
This endeavor requires dedication, discipline, and commitment from the players and parents. The Westmont Wildcat program is designed to develop a complete soccer player, able to play at a high level. This athlete will possess the attributes of strong moral character, intelligence, and a sense of fair play. Winning is considered a by-product of clearly superior training - Instruction is our organizational focus.
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What is the value of training?
Most young players lack the confidence they need to play the sport as they get older. It is vital to the total development of the player that they are taught the skills necessary for them to become successful in the sport as they develop.
The sport poses many problems to the young player. At the players' earliest stage they have few solutions to those problems. What we try to do is equip them with the tools that can help them contrive many solutions. When you see players who are being creative and playing with confidence instead of fear, you are seeing a special player. These special players can find more solutions to the many problems they face in the course of the game than an average player. Through our skill training and technical development, we raise the players' comfort level on the ball. When the player feels comfortable with the soccer ball, they can find many solutions, they become special.
As players get older and the tactics of the game become more prevelant, it is important that the players have this good sound technical base. The tactical approach that we can take is predicated on the technical ability of the players. If a player cannot receive a ball or pass the ball the only decisions that they have are to kick the ball. If a player can only receive and pass then he/she becomes predictable because that player could never dribble past someone. We want to develop technically sound players who have an ability at all aspects of the game who possess a level of creativity and unpredictability that separates them from other players.
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Goal Safety
In order to ensure the safety of all players on all fields, we must all work to ensure that goals are properly staked down. We cannot expect the Park District to secure all nets, as these are public facilities and outside user groups often utilize our fields for pick-up games. Therefore, it is the responsibility of all players, parents, coaches, referees, assistant referees and managers to check the goals EVERY TIME WE USE A FIELD, for games or practices, home or away. We cannot "assume" that the goals are properly staked. We have instructed our staff coaches to check all goals as soon as they arrive at fields, for both practices and games (home and away). However, it remains the responsibility of all of us, to continue checking for properly staking of all goals. If at any point, you feel there is an issue at any field we utilize, please do not hesitate to contact the Park District at 630-963-5252. Only with all of us working as a team, can we ensure the safety of everyone using the fields.
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How to Find Foul Territory
Mike Conklin
Published May 8, 2005
Another summer of youth sports is upon us, and that means one thing for sure: dads (and some moms) making fools of themselves at games, whether to turn little Johnny into a scholarship athlete or simply to exercise poor sideline behavior.
"Our child's team winning or losing often becomes more about us than them, but we make it about them," said clinical psychologist Erik A. Fisher. "Winning or losing does not make us any better or worse than anyone else, but we choose to feel better or worse than others."
Many parents will be at their kids' games for the first time, whether T-ball, K-League soccer, swimming or other activities, and Fisher, author of "The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict," said the most important things at this stage are for participants to gain physical coordination, learn cooperative relationships and fun.
"Later on, after ages 9-10, they should learn how to win and lose with class, grace, integrity and honor," he added. "Parents have to learn to unconditionally love our children, not treat them differently if they win or lose."
And how do parents know if they're crossing the line? Fisher, an Atlanta psychologist, offered a checklist of 10 Ways to Know That You Are Too Wrapped Up in Your Child's Sport:
10. You want to be an official of your child's sport because you believe that you can make better calls than other referees.
9. You have your child practicing every night at home until after dark.
8. You start talking about your games when you were a kid during your child's game.
7. You start calling players on other teams names and make calls or noises when they're trying to focus.
6. You call players on your child's team names or make calls or comments, hoping they'll mess up and your child gets more playing time.
5. You coach your child's team and let your kid play more than others because you think he's better than anyone else on the team.
4. You make your child cry before, during or after a game by your actions or comments toward him.
3. Your child wants to quit playing and you want to keep coaching, telling him he's a quitter or a loser.
2. You encourage your child to play with an injury or illness, telling him he's a loser or weak if he doesn't.
1. You threaten your child, a player, another parent, coach or official with physical harm for any reason.
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Some Parents Need to Take a Chill Pill
I haven't yet seen "Friday Night Lights," a movie based on the best-selling book which chronicles the 1988 season of the Odessa (Texas) Permian Panthers high school football team.
But I did visit the film's Web site one day, and happened to click on an interview clip featuring Mike Winchell.
Winchell, the squad's quarterback, is portrayed in the movie. The community placed high expectations on the team to win the state championship that year — so much so, Winchell recalled, that someone put a "for sale" sign in the yard of one of Winchell's teammates after the Panthers had lost a game.
To the best of my knowledge, no one north of I-80 has taken a loss to this extreme. Yet the above is a prime example of the take-no-prisoners mentality that unfortunately appears to have gripped not only prep sports, but youth sports.
The days of participating in athletics for competition and sheer love of the game are, of course, long gone. We have Web pages devoted to youth and prep teams ... even to individual athletes. We have traveling baseball, soccer, hockey and volleyball teams (did I leave any sport out?) with seemingly every age breakdown, save for infants and toddlers.
Throw in tournaments ad nauseam, and a traveling team's schedule resembles that of a professional squad.
There are summer camps and training facilities with state-of-the-art equipment designed to give young athletes the upper hand over their competition. Getting the edge, however, will cost you. Ask parents how much coin they fork out for their athletic-minded son or daughter to partake in these camps. In some cases, it's the equivalent of taking out a second mortgage.
I admire the dedication and sacrifice of parents who pay the bills; put hundreds (if not thousands) of miles on their vehicles to get their kids — and in many cases their teammates — from Point A to Point B on the schedule; brave the elements to watch their kids play; or volunteer to coach.
They cheer their teams on. They are cordial to, and supportive of, the leagues and coaches their youngsters are involved in. They are the lifeblood of youth and prep sports. And fortunately, they represent a majority of parents — a supermajority at that.
You know who you are. So the following lecture is not for you.
For the tiny percentage of parents, however, who aren't team players, kindly adjust your reading glasses.
We have terrorism. War. The devastating tsunami in South Asia that's taken over 200,000 lives. Athletics ought to serve as an escape from these tragedies, yet you treat your kids' involvement in sports as if it's life and death. Why?
It's OK to voice your displeasure with an official's call ... within reason. But when you stand up in the bleachers during a contest and blow a gasket while berating officials (with or without choice obscenities), or continue barking at them after the game (believe me I've seen this happen), what are you teaching your children?
Further, did you ever stop to think how foolish you look to those of us sitting a few rows (or a few feet) away from you?
Then there is the parent who thinks he or she either knows more than the coach, or corners the coach to complain about his or her child's lack of playing time.
Youth sports is one thing — participants should be given an opportunity to play regularly. High school sports is another.
Prep coaches have played and coached the sport your son or daughter participates in most of their lives. They are certified to coach. They spend countless hours preparing, planning and evaluating. They know talent when they see it.
Sure, I've dealt with a few prep coaches over the years who've been total pains. But 99 percent of them are personable, knowledgeable, fair-minded folks, so chances are slim the coach has it out for your kid.
I'm not trying to be a killjoy to anyone's dreams, but here's a reality check: Not everyone possesses the talent to be the star, or be a starter. Not everyone will ink a full ride to a Division I school. And you have to know by now a minuscule percentage of athletes ever play professionally.
If your child is down and out about not getting more minutes on the court, or more innings on the diamond, offer them empathy, support and encouragement. Just leave the coach — and your pride — out of it.
Here's another pathetic trend that sadly seems to be on the rise: The parent who bad-mouths a coach at every opportunity among friends and/or among other parents who have players on the team.
You know who you are. Then again, maybe you don't, since your 20/20 tunnel vision locks into a cockamamie belief that the coach is solely responsible for a team's performance and therefore must go.
When that coach — the one with your daggers sticking in their back — either gets canned, resigns under pressure or is finally fed up with your ... (can't say the word in a family newspaper) and calls it quits, I trust you'll sleep better at night knowing you've set great example for junior to follow in the future.
The kind of example that would make Jerry Springer proud.
And once a new coach is in place, do him or her a favor. In fact, do us all a favor.
Order tickets to the next Jerry Springer. I'm sure there's room for one more trash-talker in his studio audience.
Mike Sandrolini can be reached at: msandrolini@libertysuburban.com
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