Opening Day 2018

Dan creates the Commissioner's Office

The Commissioner limps to his car, loaded with equipment. Another long day in the field has finally come to a close. The Seattle summer sun has, once again, thoroughly baked the upholstery. He opens the door and braces for the heat wave. It emerges angrily.

The Commissioner squints, sweating. He flops into the driver's seat and lets out a heavy sigh.

“I'm too old for this--”

• Dan Rish, Commissioner
• Jeremy Salvo, Deputy Commissioner
• Preston Sahabu, Media
• Liam Munro, Scorer

West Coast, Best Coast

PRESTON SAHABU, Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles

Dan left big shoes to fill in the game summary department, but we will do our best. Throughout the season I will be reaching out to captains, players, and fans to put together each week’s recaps. Let’s get to it!

Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles  0 - 10 West Coast Washout

Sunshine beamed down on Seattle Wiffleball’s inaugural 2018 game, warm but not too harsh, while the wind gently swirled above the field. Max Melendez wasted no time ringing in the new season, suffocating the Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles offense and allowing only three hits over four shutout innings. His counterpart Matt Pearson was less fortunate as his defense produced a comedy of “hits” during a big second inning.

The game ended by mercy rule with a walkoff two-run single from rookie Jeremy Salvo.

West Coast Washout  17 - 7 Chicken ‘n’ Wiffles

New starter and Steve Cishek impersonator Grant Costa took the hill against the Washout, and first game jitters led to four runs for the road team. But the Chickens came home to roost in the bottom half of the frame, ambushing power pitcher Andrew Winter for five runs to take the lead. Fireman Dan Rish came in to put out the flames, then powered through the next four innings with his grass-clipping rise ball and driving screwball.

Grant took note of Dan’s arsenal and countered with his own riseball through the next three innings, holding the damage to only three runs. The score stood at 7-5 when Grant tired, and Captain Matt Pearson looked to his bullpen.

Starter Zac Harris was traded to AAA Long Island for cash considerations in the offseason, and reliever Liam Munro was out with Mother’s Day Fever. Facing a barren pen, the “Break In Case of Emergency” glass was shattered, and yours truly was called on to “pitch to contact” and close out the game. Based on the final score, one can imagine how well that went.

Looking to build depth with a twelve run lead, the Washout put Jeremy Salvo on the mound for the bottom of the sixth. The game doesn’t end until the fat hen squawks, but squawk it did.

Real Juice back at 100%

ERIC SANFORD, Cannonball Coming

Hello! I joined Seattle Wiffleball last season after seeing a bunch of dorks playing in the park by my house every Sunday and wanting to get in on that action. You can find more of my writing on Lookout Landing. Go Mariners.

Our 2018 season kicked off with a double-header against 100% Real Juice, a team we crushed in 2017 because one of the players got married the night before the game and the whole team was in the wedding party. They were still finishing off the keg from the wedding and definitely not at their sharpest.

That was not the case this time. The Juicers came to play.

Cannonball Coming  0 - 1 100% Real Juice

Game one featured our Team Captain and Crafty Veteran pitcher Patrick Meagher versus the very good Aaron Hunter. The game was quite the pitching duel with a scoreless tie going into the bottom of the sixth inning. There the Juice Boyz finally plated a run with a few well-placed hits and that was the ballgame.

100% Real Juice  3 - 0 Cannonball Coming

Game two was another classic pitching duel, with Paul Rodger taking the mound for the Cannonballers against the hard-throwing Epo Olivarez of the Juicers. Last season was Paul’s first in the league, and his first one pitching. His off-season work clearly paid off as he came out of the gate incredibly sharp and with a couple extra ticks of velocity.

Epo, however, was also not messing around and he peppered the zone with a combo of deadly heaters and devastating breaking balls. The game was scoreless at the end of six innings, so on to extras we went.

Paul got into a jam by loading up the bases, and he nearly got out of it, but three runs scored before the inning was done. Cannonball Coming had the opportunity for a walkoff in the bottom half of the frame, but Epo shut down the rally in a hurry.

All in all, both team’s batters accumulated a truly gaudy amount of strikeouts (64 combined!) and a great time was had by all in the bright sunshine at Cowen Park.