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San Francisco Diablos
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Diablos piss off Gods one more time in 11-10 loss
The guy on the right was umpiring our game. You figure out how it went. More to come...
Signs of the Apocalypse
Happy Fathers day all you Dads. Last Sunday the Diablos welcomed their second and FINAL game in San Francisco for the 2009 season by ending their losing streak with a 13-0 victory over the Tsunami. The effort was shared by many whether it was Joltin' Joe Ponson shooting the gaps and getting dirty at 3rd(u almost had that shit man) or Kemo "I'll be right back" Lary showing his youthful legs in scoring 3 runs(He also gave a clinic on how to sneak out early). Sweet Lou decided to throw fastballs since he enjoys the echo @ West Sunset and got the 7 inning CG(even had to field his position a few times). Cameron Lebowksi stepped in behind the plate and couldn't be stopped with the stick. RBI's were dropped in by Fed "I'll be late next week" Narvaez and Alex Mora. Fresh fish Zack Miller impressed with his hustle. The Flying Orosco brothers were a welcome site. Although Oz needs to work on his 1st base coaching style. This week looked like an entirely different Diablo squad. Of course Brother thinks its all his line-up tweaking, BUT we know it's more about guys just playing some ball. Late arrival by world traveler PR Sainz was welcomed to collect a boat load of Kangaroo Court fees. This Sunday the Diablos play @ 2 pm Flood Park against the Fog.
8 and counting...
Epic, Colossal, Mountainous. These are just a few words that can describe the current 8-game losing skid the Diablos are riding. After a demoralizing 13-5 extra inning loss to the Sea Lions a double header against the 1st place Storm was just what the doctor ordered. Making his Diablo debut Phil Lonsdale tossed 7 solid innings, but the Diablo offense couldn't get across the plate enough to help him out in a 5-4 loss. Post game odds on Phil being able to wipe his ass Monday were rumored to be around 10-1. After a 30 minute lunch break spent getting ice for the post game sodas and rocking out to Kemo's greatest hits the Diablos sent Sweet Lou to the hill. His 6 innings kept the Diablos in the game, but once again the offense stalled and the final score was 6-4. Joe Ponson ripped a 2-RBI double in he 9th inning to keep things interesting and extend his hitting streak to every game he makes the line-up. AC Sanchez was injured on a hustle play at first base in which the Storm 1B thought he was playing soccer and gave Gabe's hand a kick. Since this weeks absence from post-game activities was not his choice the cans were recycled and brought to Gabes house. That should cover the co-pay big guy. To end the losing streak virgin sacrifice was mentioned during the drinking session, but quickly forgotten after Frank aired the latest episode of Dragon Slayer for the team. The new guys were introduced to a memorable roast of Alfredo by none other than Kemo "Shut the fuck up. You can't say nuthin'" Lary. The Diablos return to SF this week and play the Tsunami @ West Sunset.
Baseball gods smite Diablos in 6-5 loss to AJ's
For anyone in attendance Sunday evening a full refund of your time and money should be expected. The Diablos decided to put on a little show of what not to do in most situations. Never make the first or third out at third base. We did. Don't walk the lead off batter with a 3-run lead in the 9th inning. We did. Don't lose track of how many outs there are in an inning. We did. Dont drink in the park after hours. We did. For most of Sunday the Diablos looked like they would pull this one out even while committing so many baseball sins. Fugeddaboutit! Gardella threw a solid game. Gabe ripped a sweet RBI-double. And our overweight line-up caused havoc on the base paths all night. In the end a strong 4 run rally by AJ's in the top of the 9th extended the Diablos losing streak to five. Post game consisted of 5 guys drinking in the dark and throwing cans in the garbage(where were you AC Sanchez?).
2009 season schedule complete
The remainder of the 2009 schedule has been updated. Check your social calendar and plan accordingly.
Diablos drown in rare Hayward Tsunami
Wow is the only description for Saturday @ Hayward High School. The host schools mascot is the Farmers and thats what we should have been doing instead of playing ball. That is if we could find the field we need to plow with AC Sanchez at the wheel. Figuring we had plenty of time to sight see before 1st pitch the Diablo party bus hit up a few fast food joints, visited some of Haywards finer neighborhoods and even had time to shop a few garage sales for the perfect mothers day gift. I think PR even got a screaming deal on a knock-off designer hand bag. After pre-game warm ups(ha) Joe Ponson took the hill for your Diablos. Making his 1st start of the season fresh off the DL he gave us everything we needed. Six innings later he departed with an enlarged nut sack and the Diablos trailing 2-1. Not much to chat about from that point on. Final score was 8-1 in the Tsunamis favor. Other highlights involved Track coach Kemo legging out his first triple since the Reagan administration and AC Sanchez taking the term "getting treatment" to the next level by playing 8 innings with a bag of ice in his sock. Conversations of where to get the best crab and who left what in the car back on our side of the bay dominated the post game. The Diablo heads(livers) are definitely in "mid-season" form as we reach the quarter pole of the 2009 season. Also just to keep our cry baby reputation shining bright the trek across the bay for that field is a joke. Not because of traffic or gas prices. Because we can find a field like that anywhere in the SF area(HNABA). That is all.
Schedule updated thru 7/11
Read the headline fool!
Two losses in a row put Diablos at .500
A tough two weeks for the Diablos has sent them down the standings to 2-2. Last week 9 players showed up and we lost to the Blazers 4-2. Injuries limited Sweet Lou to only 4 innings or work, but Justin picked up the slack and carried the Diablos the rest of the way. Highlights from that defeat were 1)Gabe bronzing on the 3rd level of hell @ Alfredo's place 2)Lou proving to us why we DH for him. This week it was a familiar foe the Blue Claws(who wear red jerseys). With injuries and swine flu keeping key players out of the line-up the Diablos battled back from a 9-2 deficit with a 6-run seventh inning highlighted by a 3-run triple from Naldo(no doubt trying to impress his lady). Amidst chirps about the time limit from the home team the umpires allowed play to resume. In the top of the 9th a towering solo home run by Marcus Reed tied it up at 9-9. Unfortunately a run was plated on a sacrifice fly by teh Blue Claws in the bottom of the 9th and the game was over. Post game attendance was considerably light, but when you only have 7.5 players ont he roster that is to be expected. This week we got screwed by the powers that be and are playing in San Leandro @ 715pm on Sunday. Wow. Good thing we signed up to play in the SLNABA.....oh wait it was the SFNABA. Hopefully we'll get a game in San Francisco before the season is over.
R.I.P. Nick Adenhart
Diablos edge Benders 3-2 in Alameda
What a day for baseball. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping(where is a shotgun when you need it) and the pitchers showed up to play. For the Diablos it started and ended with 'Fresh Fish' Gardella. Earning his second win he went the distance on the hill and begged(like a woman)for runs in the dug out. In true Diablo fashion we waited until the last possible moment to score those runs. Returning from his expensive Vegas vacation 'PR' Sainz got himself a batting average, had a $1 strikeout and scored the game winning run. Not a bad '09 debut. 'Mad Dawg' McFawn scored the first run of the day for the Diablos and had some nifty glove work at the hot corner(That ump totally screwed you). The outfield was solid as usual. Led by CF Marcus Reed who squashed a couple of Bender rallies all by himself. 'Flat tire' Escobar and Brian Baduske-Smith locked down the corner spots respectively. Oh and B also wanted me to add he is the most feared 8th hitter in the league. Behind the dish 'Aluminum Cans' Sanchez showed the energy of a teenager(or maybe someone who mixes stimulants with his crystal light). After he flexed his muscle in gunning down the first Bender who attempted to steal nobody even considered that idea for the rest of the game. He played the part so well that he over threw Gardella regularly to show he couldn't control his cannon. 'FundaMENTALs' Narvaez found new and amazing ways of parting himself from his hard earned dollars. Whether it's striking out looking or calling his own infield fly rule from the batters box I can't wait to see what he does next. Punch and cookies were served post-game, but the bridge traffic cut the festivities short. Props to Kemo 'get away from the grill' Lary for feeding the animals @ Gabe's house.
Diablos pound SuperStars 14-4 on Opening Day
March 30, 2009
To borrow a line from Marvin Gaye "Oh mercy mercy me". That about sums up our first game of the 2009 season, but what fun would it be to chat about a mercy killing without some details. To begin every Diablo that stepped in the batters box scored a run today. A new Kangaroo Court fine was established thanks to Fed almost decapitating Frank in the on-deck circle. 'Aluminum Cans' Sanchez performed such magic behind the dish the Super Stars were talking amongst themselves about his cannon all day(His 2-RBI's didn't hurt). Fresh fish Louis Gardella(CG,12k,5BB,3H,2ER)decided to break from his pre-season tradition of hitting more batters than the other team. It worked. Justin "Mad Dawg" McFawn knocked in 2 rbi's and also had enough energy to yell at Fed from across the diamond on more than one occasion. Frank 'Pimpin aint easy' Escobar found time to score a run and play a solid LF while dodging flying timber. Brian "I use my cellphone while driving" Baduske added a run and hit while hosting post-game festivities at his place. Kemo "Brooksy's got it" Lary showed his veteran poise by not letting some defensive miscues creep into his at-bats. Atta boy. Center Fielder Marcus Reed(2hits,2runs,2RBIs) showed why the Diablo front office flagged him down on the side of the road this off-season and asked him to play. Naldo Orozco brought the scenery and managed to score 2 runs from the lead off spot. Now if we can only get him to take a pitch or two. And last but certainly not least we have Joe Ponson-Chaika. He patiently waited for his AB all afternoon. His purchase of a new bat had him dreaming of shots in the gap and the muff confetti that accompanies such hitting prowess. Sadly that dream was put on hold since he was promptly beaned on the 3rd pitch. Better luck next time Joe. Overall it was a complete 180 degree turn from our pre-season games. Who knew the veterans on this squad were just holding back until it counted. There was even a little fire shown during a squabble over the post-game spread. Keep at it fellas!
***Location change for season opener - Flood Park***
March 26, 2009
Season opener against the SuperStars has been moved to Flood Park 3pm on 3/29/09. Please plan accordingly for rides and bring your beer money. McFawn has been put in charge of providing post-game orange slices and lettuce. Received a warning email from the league office regarding the behavior of an "unidentified league team" in San Leandro last week. The letter specified beer drinking and "legal and illegal" smoking as the infractions. It also mentioned leaving trash and not maintaining the field after use. The summary statement in the email threatened to re-schedule games from San Leandro Park to Big Rec for any teams breaking the "rules". Ummmm ok. Since we signed up to play in the SFNABA I don't see how not having to travel across a bridge to play is punishment. As for the complaint of garbage we have "Aluminum Cans" Sanchez living by the motto of 'No empty beer can is left behind'. We don't leave any food trash since eating keeps you from getting buzzed quickly. I am fully aware the complaint was not about us since we played in SF this past weekend, but I am sure that at some point this season we will have a complaint against us. Oh well. That will not effect the Diablos post-game ritual of alcohol consumption, smoke inhalation(legal and illegal) and game review. We went a perfect 20-0 last year in after game theatrics and we strive to keep that record intact. Play Ball!
League Meeting
2009 SFNABA league meeting has been completed. The Ping-Pong ball has been grabbed(Thanks Justin)and a lottery has shuffled the Bay and Ocean Conferences. The Diablos have been placed in the Ocean-East with five other squads(Storm, AJ's, Bay Sox, Tsunami, Sea Lions). Some squads have been played and others are new. The league executives have guaranteed the first 4 games of the schedule to be released within a week. This weekend the Diablos play a pre-season game against an old foe @ Balboa 2pm.
Hot Stove Report
December 22, 2008
Happy Holidays Diablo fans. Hope all is holly and jolly in your lives. We start with sympathy to the family of Dock Ellis. He passed away this past week after a battle with Cirrhosis. He is best known for throwing a No-Hitter while under the influence of LSD. A truly remarkable sporting achievement if you have ever thrown a baseball or dropped acid. I am writing this review due to the recent flood of emails inquiring about the Diablos interest in this years Free Agent pool. Let me start with our most recent news. We are no longer in talks with Mark Teixeira's people. Initially it was the money demands, but the deep pockets of GM Nieves Trejo quickly evened those numbers out. In the end the deal breaker was the fact that Scott Boras couldn't handle Trejo calling him 'Brother' during negotiations(also the fact that Teixeira's drug test came back negative meant he got an F in the team chemistry department...a killer with this organization). Our legal department had drawn up an 8 year-100 Beer/game contract for C.C. Sabathia, but a fierce bidding war developed between Hank Steinbrenner and Hank Steinbrenner. After careful consideration it was the training staffs view that C.C. was guaranteed to gain at least 25 lbs. post-gaming in the parking lot. Rounding out 2008 the Diablo front office thought they had filled the SS hole with a 4 year deal with Rafael Furcal. The initial report of Furcal's agents using the Diablos offer to drive up the price were false. The truth is that Diablo management found the Fax machine with a paper jam and just gave up on sending the offer. "That is disappointing. With his multple DUI's and alcoholic training from Bobby Cox he would've fit in well with these guys. Especially when the hat was passed for the 3rd and 4th beer runs." was a quote from someone close to the negotiations. A one and done scenario in the playoffs has left a bitter taste in managements mouth. All positions are open for next season which should create some competition when Spring Training begins in March.
***UPDATED*** Kangaroo Courts Fees
March 24, 2008
The fees for stupid shit are as follows:
Getting Picked off a base: $1.00
Striking out looking: $1.00
Over throwing your cutoff man: $1.00
Infielder over throwing around the horn: $1.00
Golden Sombrero: $1.00
0 for 5: 1$
Missing a sign: $1.00
Failure to execute sign: $1.00
Wearing a white hat to a game: $1.00
No Hustle: $1.00
Letting go of bat during AB and almost killing dude on-deck: $3.00
Calling your own Infield Fly from the batters box: $3.00
Late for Game: $5.00
Crying like a bitch at a movie: $5.00
No Show/No Call at Game: $20.00
Thrown out of game: $20.00
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San Francisco Diablos
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