Ian is gaining a measure of fame as the author of "Once a Week Motherfuckers"..you had to be there to witness the complete disdain in which he uttered the line...I guess he forgot that it wasnt so long ago that he was playing right field for Victor Moffitt! However, there is something that he is even more famous for. 4 years ago, my home field was Club Jogues. One saturday afternoon, I was in the neighborhood and I just had the feeling that Eddie didnt cut the outfield grass. So I checked up..and sure enough, Eddie spent the $50 the league gave him at the PNA bar rather than on gas for his frigin lawn mower. So, my plan was to get up early, get my own god damned lawn mower..and cut the grass my goddamned self. So I did..showed up at 6 am...got my push mower...got to Jogues..and..unbelievably..there is an overstuffed sleeping bag in center field. Fuck..a fat homeless guy ( Artie maybe )sleeping in center field! So, trying not to wake the bum..I start on the right field line..back and forth FORFUCKINGEVER....bum doesnt move when I get close. So I go to left field line...an hour later..I am closing into center field..when finally the bum starts rustling around all pissy like I am disturbing his rest at the Crowne Plaza or something. Fellas, I am not making this up,,,,,as I got closer I realized it wasnt one bum..but two..in one sleeping bag..and as I got even closer..i noticed it wasnt a bum ..it was that double earring wearing afro-headed Ian Smith kid from Bims and some other player. Considine prob. Holy Shit. TWO MEN, ONE BAG. 3 Hours I am going back and forth with my mower and they never budged. Probably didnt want to get caught nuzzlin and spent 3 terror filled hours hoping I would run out of gas so they could sneak off while I took a break. Didnt happen. TWO MEN, ONE BAG. Mind you , this was way before the Kate days. true, true story. Ian has had four years to come up with reasonable explanation..but I aint buying it. I saw it myself. One Sleeping Bag. Two Bims players. Lots of nuzzlin'.
slezak3
March 21, 2008 5:26:54 PM
Entry #: 2668806
unbelievable, smitty and consdenine caught spooning!?! I always had my doubts, Jeff remember all the jokes at BP. But one question why did it take 4 years to surface, lb4lb? HMMMMM
Mac
March 21, 2008 5:39:35 PM
Entry #: 2668822
was there maybe 3 men in that bad and smitty and consedine kicked botelho out of the bag and thats why it took so long to come out he had to think of a good excuse why he was at the feild haha
Jeffc_28
March 21, 2008 7:24:24 PM
Entry #: 2668932
I was not there for that one.
Although I was there when a friend put his hand through a hanging lamp when Manny hit ah homer.
Uncle Mertog
March 22, 2008 12:26:21 AM
Entry #: 2669268
Fuck you Bobby, you're not going to drag me into this. I'm not taking the bait and running it as the top story in the Planet....not gonna happen. Uh Uh, no way...fuck that!
lawnman
March 22, 2008 9:01:19 AM
Entry #: 2669406
that story cant be true i was never paid for a job i didnt do. if that field needed it i would have done it ,probably was waiting for them to move .then i saw bob get out .and start to cut it so i left ,lol seroiously i been cutting that field at least 20yrs now and i was probably gonna do it later that day ,ty bob for doing it that day and taking my drinking money .so we both got fucked that day ,lol geez a 3some in center field at club joques and to think theyre all still together .
lb4lb
March 22, 2008 4:12:22 PM
Entry #: 2669750
the worst part of the story, I just realized, is not the two drunks sleeping in centerfield( lets give him credit for realizing at some point on saturday night that he was too drunk to go home, sleep and get up to play on Sunday morning..so he just slept it off in the outfield so he could at once wake up AND be in position to catch a fly..thats the kind of dedictaion that once a week motherfuckers will never understand)..its not the two drunks in centerfield that is the most ridculous part of the story..its ME getting up at 530 to cut the outfield grass with a push mower at that pit of a field so that we could play....thats pathetic..even for a once a weeker...a once a weeker that doesnt even make Ians " Top 100 Once A Weekers Mothers " in Coventry. Gotta go. Kate needs me.
Ryno
March 22, 2008 11:46:25 PM
Entry #: 2670183
Uncle Mertog
March 23, 2008 1:11:54 AM
Entry #: 2670272
hodde
March 23, 2008 6:34:01 PM
Entry #: 2670883
smitty do you have a response to this or what ive been waiting to hear from ya on this 2 guys one sleeping bag ???
Smitty
March 23, 2008 7:04:05 PM
Entry #: 2670907
it was two bags.....karoake night at bills pizza got a little out of hand so rather than drive home drunk and oversleep and miss the game, we drove halfway home and slept at the field. the other person was dan giroux not considine.
this hasn't gotten more interest from people in the league because anyone who knows bob botelho has heard this story. while he didn't make my "top 100 once a weekers" as he calls it, I did make his top 5 bob botelho favorite stories list. he always tells it with one bag. and i always point out the real joke...he thought he could cut an entire outfield with a push mower.
as a side note, this was in my once a week days AND it was the SECOND time it happened.
Riley99
March 23, 2008 7:19:20 PM
Entry #: 2670929
did anyone else notice that Ian never stated wheather or not he was a homo? Is Kate a front? He does coach Hendricken (BOYS) baseball.
Smitty
March 23, 2008 9:13:54 PM
Entry #: 2671094
and craig, you called me at 11:36am on Easter Sunday....am i that important to you? does jana know? was it just to say "Good Morning"? or did the sleeping bag story, while not entirely true, inspire you to come out of the closet?
i guess i should tell you, (the only one who's asked about my sexuality)that i am not a homosexual. sorry to disappoint.
EW33
March 23, 2008 10:29:41 PM
Entry #: 2671206
Did you think that you would only disappoint riley? Mr. Smith!
Uncle Mertog
March 23, 2008 11:06:43 PM
Entry #: 2671258
I'm kinda bummed I'll be honest. I was looking forward to spooning with Smitty! Hmmm, lets put it to a vote...does that make me gay? I hope sol because then I'll be able to get a promotion at work...being gay seems to open doors. Like they said in "Stripes"...We're not gay but we're willing to learn.
OAWMF
March 24, 2008 9:34:10 AM
Entry #: 2671512
This is all I am gonna say bout this gay shit.....
Uncle Mertog
March 24, 2008 10:12:36 AM
Entry #: 2671587
Brian Stevens
March 24, 2008 10:14:59 AM
Entry #: 2671589
I remember showing up for the game that day and Bob telling me that two of our guys were sleeping in the grass. I think Considine is innocent. The offending party is no longer in this league. "Sleep at the field" was a familiar chant at Bill's around 1 am saturday nights.
gopher
March 24, 2008 1:23:54 PM
Entry #: 2671919
OHhhhhhhhhhhhh i beg to differ. I believe he is signed up to play this year isn't that right smitty. LMAO
Brian Stevens
March 24, 2008 2:23:05 PM
Entry #: 2672041
i have to admit to sleeping at the field once...but i only did it once...and I was really drunk. That doesn't make me gay. Does it?
Fat Chicks Rule
March 24, 2008 2:39:10 PM
Entry #: 2672063
Wait a minute. What Dan Giroux are you refering to? Is it the Dan Giroux that is from West Warwick?
gopher
March 24, 2008 2:40:22 PM
Entry #: 2672065
not only is mr. Giroux coming back to play this year but he is on the same team as "Hold the Pickle & Swallow my load". I guess they are going to have a cum out year
Smitty
March 24, 2008 2:46:47 PM
Entry #: 2672070
not that dan giroux....we already said like 4 times he's not in the league anymore...
Riley99
March 24, 2008 4:20:05 PM
Entry #: 2672267
Dear Mr. Smitty, If calling a friend whaich is a guy makes u gay than wow i must be gay along with everyother guy i know. But, I would be willing to bet that if you took a poll on what is more gay sleeping in the same sleeping bag with another guy or calling a friend to say whats up im pretty sure you would be the gay one. As Tommy Mac would say its just my opinion thats all. maybe im wrong.
Uncle Mertog
March 24, 2008 4:39:55 PM
Entry #: 2672315
Riley, not sure what's up between you and Ian, but I have to concur that friend checks are in fact a "gay thing". As Kathy Griffin would say, I'll consult "my gays" and get back to you with an answer on that.
Also, I'll have something for you by the end of the week that I think you will like...but I don't want to be the one who is responsible for ruining your marriage. I'm hearing rumors that the two of you knuckleheads are letting your significant others actually discuss the website and compare notes. First rule of "Fight Club" don't let your women talk about "Fight Club". You two dummies might be sharing a sleeping bag soon if you continue to let the women know anything about this site.
Riley99
March 24, 2008 6:06:57 PM
Entry #: 2672527
ahh Uncle Mertdog u have spoken. It is kind of hard to hide the web site when im on it every second that im home. My life consist of work, Planet Mertdog, Gym, back on this web site looking at bats on the internet then checking back on this site for any new gossip before bed.. So my wife pretty much hates me anyway around this time of year. Smitty the rainbow was for you and your sleeping bag buddy.
Brian Stevens
March 24, 2008 8:48:22 PM
Entry #: 2672786
night vision pictures provided by Victor Moffit.
Brian Stevens
March 24, 2008 8:56:11 PM
Entry #: 2672796
Ryno
March 24, 2008 10:31:07 PM
Entry #: 2672990
Do you know how I know that you are gay? YOU QUOTED KATHY GRIFFIN!
Uncle Mertog
March 25, 2008 2:02:08 AM
Entry #: 2673188
Uncle Mertog
March 25, 2008 2:16:42 AM
Entry #: 2673195
Riley, I'm glad that you read the Planet and continue to play softball, however be warned that you may need to hook up with me and Ryno and learn the secret of the Falcon Punch. It took me awhile but I finally convinced Ryno that he should learn the manuever just in case. Thus far I have seen Ryno on the website more than he has been in some time, that can only be a clear indicator that the Falcon punch has worked miracles in his life. I must warn you, do not speak of the Falcon punch in the prescence of the opposite sex, should they ever learn the secret it would spell doom for we men.
Smitty
March 25, 2008 8:42:02 AM
Entry #: 2673302
My life consist of work, Planet Mertdog, Gym, back on this web site looking at bats on the internet then checking back on this site for any new gossip before bed.. So my wife pretty much hates me anyway around this time of year
work - we all have to do it planet - we all read it BUT GYM - you probably are in spandex GOSSIP - every girls favorite thing to do WIFE HATES YOU - maybe she found out youre gay (judging by the way she stuck a finger in my face and said "YOU! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU MADE THE WEBSITE!" it seemed like there was a lot more anger there than just site...she did find out your gay didn't she? its ok. you can tell us. maybe you can use this message board as a dating service?.......just trying to help (the icon is for you based on what it looks like he's doing)
Uncle Mertog
March 25, 2008 11:19:58 PM
Entry #: 2674856
Ryno
March 26, 2008 5:18:50 PM
Entry #: 2676192
My wife has just threatened to register and start posting shit! Which is fine because she has a great sense of humor. But eventually she will become "THE WIFE" and unleash the fury.
fiskey
March 26, 2008 10:14:40 PM
Entry #: 2676696
Hey Ryno, does the wife know about Heather Morton!!!!
Uncle Mertog
March 27, 2008 12:05:49 AM
Entry #: 2676856
Ryno, I know you said she had a great sense of humor but aren't you opening the door for increased violence upon me? Gender traitor! Now I have to be careful about what I write in the Planet. Helen Baxter already told me she didn't like what I write about "THE WIFE" and Smitty and Riley's women want to kill me, now I'm gonna have Mrs. Ryno on my ass as well! I'm a dead man.
Mertog R.I.P
Ryno
March 27, 2008 9:24:17 AM
Entry #: 2677152
Fiskey. No need to bring up girlfriends from 15 years ago.
Mertog. She actually looks forward to meeting you. She thinks you are funny as hell. I don't have a typical "WIFE". I give you my iron clad guarantee that she will be nice to you and not rip your testes off.
Mac
March 28, 2008 1:53:44 AM
Entry #: 2678800
This post turned out to be...
just so everyone knows i had a great post about every single person in the post how there gay and how i know it but when i went to submit it, it deleted so instead you all get this. YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF GAYS EXCEPT FOR RYNO, # 25 AND CONSIDINE, WHO I APOLOGIZE TO FOR SAYING IT WAS HIM AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST.... EVERYONE ELSE IS GAY THERE WERE MANY REASONS... most were mert how can u say u want to cuddle with smitty just not right and craig how come smitty was the only on who got a call on easter? im not gay but a answering machine message saying hi im craig and im bloody and its easter come on thats better than the easter bunny on my doorstep haha cant wait til its warm and everyone remembers how to drink.
Seems like CM and Some of the VDub know how to ... Harris is always drinking... wheres everyone else hodde u wanna get drunk lets go uncle vs uncle haha
