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TOPIC: Baseball |
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| Is It Spring Yet?
February 28, 2011
9:26:32 AM
Entry #: 3663566
| What we need is a rain out
I can get us a rain out
Man, there ain’t been a cloud in weeks
Hundred bucks says i can get us a rainout for tomorrow
You’re on
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| SoDak20
March 11, 2011
8:55:51 AM
Entry #: 3673346
| Crash Davis: Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh: [to himself] What's this guy know about pitching? If he's so good how come he's been in the minors for the last ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?
Crash Davis: [turns back] Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.
Nuke: [to himself again] What's he know about fun? I'm young. I know about fun. An old man. He don't know nothin' about fun.
Crash: [behind the plate again]: All right. Nobody's goin' out there. [Crash calls for a curve ball.]
Nuke:[to himself]: Why's he calling for a curve ball? I want to bring heat. Shake him off. Throw what you want.
[Crash gives Nuke the sign for the pitch, Nuke shakes his head again. Crash walks to the mound.]
Crash: Why are you shaking me off?
Nuke: I want to bring the heater. Announce my presence with authority.
Crash: To announce what?
Nuke: My presence with authority.
Crash: To announce your presence with authority?! This guy's a first ball fastball hitter, looking for the heat.
Nuke: So what? He ain't seen my heat.
Crash: All right, Meat. Give him your heat. [He walks back to his place behind the plate.]
Nuke: Why's he always calling me Meat? I'm the guy driving a Porsche.
Crash: [to the batter at the plate] Fastball.
[Nuke throws it and the batter hits a home run. The batter stands there, watching.]
Crash: What are you doing standing here? I gave you a gift. You stand here showing up my pitcher? Run, dummy.
[Mechanized bull noises in background]
Crash: Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn't he?
[laughs]
Nuke: [softly, infuriated] I held it like an egg.
Crash: Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. Look at that, he hit the fucking bull! Guy gets a free steak!
[laughs]
Crash: You having fun yet?
Nuke: Oh, yeah. Havin' a blast.
Crash Davis: Good.
[pause]
Nuke: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash: He did know.
Nuke: How?
Crash: I told him.
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| SoDak20
March 11, 2011
8:57:27 AM
Entry #: 3673347
| And my favorite quote from Bull Durham:
Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
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