Parents and Fans Corner
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FASTPITCH ASSOCIATION
Parents and Fans Corner
We used to have a regular life. Then we became Softball Parents.
Our lawn was like a carpet green, mowed, and watered. Now we have 2 bare spots 40 feet apart.
And that's O.K.
That is where the weeds and crab grass cannot take over.
Our cars used to be clean and waxed. Now the rear window reads "WASH ME PLEASE".
And that's O.K.
Our friends in the office somehow cannot understand the drama of a 2-0 game during our play-by-play at the Water cooler on Monday morning.
And that's O.K.
We used to think $40.00 was an exorbitant price for a bat. Now our daughter's bat bag is worth more than our house and it's contents.
And that's O.K.
Our Summer casual wardrobe is made up of T-shirts with Softball logos and catchy sayings.
And thats O.K.
We used to take the time to go to the movies. Now we watch them from hotel rooms during off hours at Tournaments.
And that's O.K.
We used to have sympathy for Umpires. We used to think boys were tough.
We used to think Double-headers were a long day. Now we know it's just a warm-up for the rest of the day ahead.
And that's O.K.
We used to think the perfect child had brains and beauty. Now we add quickness, courage, strength, and the ability to bunt a good rise ball.
We used to eat at real restaurants now we are Hot dog and Nacho connoisseurs.
And that's O.K.
Why is this all O.K.?
Because we know it is a privilege to be so involved in our daughter's lives, we are truly the ones who are blessed.!!
1. Make sure your children know that, win, or lose, scared or heroic you love and appreciate their efforts, and are not disappointed in them.
2. Try your best to be completely honest about your child's athletic ability and skill level.
3. Be helpful, but don't coach them on the way to or from the field, leave that to the coaches.
4. Teach them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be "out there trying", to be working to improve their skills, and attitudes.
5. Try not to re-live your athletic life through your children, it can cause a lot of pressure on them.
6. Don't compete with the coaches.
7. Don't compare skill, courage or attitudes of your children with other members of the team, at least within their hearing.
8. Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that his philosophy, attitudes, ethics and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your children under their leadership.
9. Always remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised or criticized. Temper your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
10. Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact this it is relative. Some of us can climb mountains, and are afraid to fight. Some of us will fight, but them turn to jelly when a Bee appears. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear or discomfort. The job of the parent of athletic children is a tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well. It is worth all the effort when your child says "My parents really helped. I was lucky."
If you want to raise the blood pressure and lose the respect of people serious about sports, belittle their passion by telling them, "It's just a game." Then smugly point out that "it's not whether you win or lose that matters most, it's how you played the game."
To those who devote substantial portions of their life to sports as athletes, coaches or administrators these clichés are naïve and offensive. In the world they live in winners are respected and highly paid while losers get eliminated or unemployed. In fact, even youth coaches rate winning so highly that they think a child would rather sit on the bench of a winning team than play for a losing team. Surveys show they are dead wrong. Kids LIKE TO WIN, but it's the adults who NEED TO WIN.
Winning isn't everything, but it's a lot. It's the grand reward for effort, the golden ring that motivates sacrifice and justifies hard work. Yet too many adults overestimate the importance of victory and underestimate all the fun and learning that can take place in passionate pursuit of victory.
If we teach our children to love the process more than the result, to find pleasure in competition and play, not merely victory, we give them a lifetime gift of renewable pleasure