Jimmy Keane: after spending his first two seasons in the league at the top of the draft board as the #2 pick in 2016 (yes, Dobish passed on him at #1) and then the #1 pick in 2017 (when he ended up screwing the Commish by prioritizing his job over league playoff games), Jimmy takes his first crack at being a captain.  Does he have what it takes to put together a championship squad?  He’s certainly got an outstanding resume as a player – 1,105 points at St. Peter’s HS on The Rock, including a 53 point playoff performance against Rice HS, then on to Monmouth U, followed by a brief pro stint over in Ireland where his team was so broke that they paid him in beer, and now here he is tooling around with a bunch of has-beens and wannabes in the FH Men’s League.  Talk about a career drop off.  Yikes.  Anyway, will his resume translate into drafting a championship squad?  Only time will tell.  Presumably, the big man will have to focus his early draft efforts on guards.  Will he risk a top pick on an injured, but determined, Ryan “Rhino” Maloney who reappeared in the league last year after a multi-year layoff with some snow on his roof, but with some bounce still to his game?  Or could he go with Ocean Township’s Finest PO Kyle Szatkowski?  The backboards cringe every time Kyle takes the court.  But has Jimmy done his research to know that Kyle has child #1 on the way in April and could be up to his eyeballs in dirty diapers and sleepless nights come playoff time?

Brian Wong: after some league arm twisting, Brian finally (albeit reluctantly) agreed to be a captain this year.  His reluctance probably stems from the understandable pressure to pick his brothers in the early rounds.  We’ve seen similar type scenarios play out before at the draft resulting in disastrous consequences, like when Matt Carr took over the drafting responsibilities from his dad and proceeded to pick his brother RJ, Navid, and a bunch of their other 20-something year old buddies.  Needless to say, things didn’t end well for that team.  They were like the Cavs right before this year’s trade deadline.  That said, who doesn’t want the Wong brothers all on the same team again to see if they can rekindle last year’s magic again?  While we’re on the subject of the Wong brothers, it’s great to see the league’s diversity efforts paying off.  For those of you keeping score at home, we now have three Asian Americans, one Iranian American, and one weekend Drag Queen (Barnett) in the league.  And when Dobish finishes transitioning, we will have our first female in the league.  Talk about progress!

Colin Rigby: although still on the mend from his meniscus tear, Colin is expected to be back in top form in short order.  But unlike his first time in the captain’s chair back in 2014, he won’t be able to select his best buddy Eric Munt with his first pick because, in an unbelievable twist of fate, Eric also tore his meniscus and is out this season.  It’s a very romantic story actually – two best buddies move to the same small town and tear their meniscuses together.  They were even scheduled to have surgery together until their wives finally drew the line.  Speaking of wives, the Commish had the honor of meeting Mrs. Joe Reedy recently.  Let’s just say that Joe definitely married up.  Joe should hold onto her like he holds onto opponents that he’s helplessly trying to guard on the court.  And while we’re on the subject of Joe, does anyone else hope that Santa brought Joe a new pair of shorts for Christmas to replace his tight red cut off shorts?  The only person who liked looking at Joe in those shorts was referee Lou.

John “I-Man” Iovino: after repeated catcalls from Barnett about his weight (oh, the irony), I-Man stormed back last year to have a very strong season.  Only problem was that he had Navid steering his team’s ship and apparently tanking games to maneuver their playoff position.  Just like his infamous AC benders, last season didn’t end well for Navid.  In fact. Navid hasn’t been seen since sprinting out of the gym at the buzzer of his team’s playoff loss last year to the worst team in the league.  Will I-Man try to make amends for last year and draft Navid?  I say no, but you never know what a few Miller Lites on draft night might do to a captain.  The other thing I-Man has to contend with is his boyfriend co-worker The Greek’s endless blathering in the office and on the league website about league happenings and whatnot.  But at least The Greek’s rants are articulate and readable.  Matt Carr’s rants, on the other hand, lead you to believe he spent four years stuck in the bathroom rather than in English class at RFH.  Matt’s missives are harder to understand than the guy who mixes the paint at Fair Haven Hardware.

Marc “Raff” Raffensperger: the man with the longest name in league history gets another shot at captaincy.  While easy going off the court, Raff has been known to occasionally lose his cool on it, especially with regard to our poor blind referee Gene.  Raff has some experience as a captain though, so he knows it’s not as easy as it seems.  Putting together a championship squad is as tough as finding someone who has actually dined at The Raven & The Peach.  But Raff spends enough time at weekly pick-up to know the league talent well.  He’ll likely have no problems in the early rounds, but what will he do in the later ones.  Maybe he goes with a resurgent Tommy Pants (aka the Ansel Adams of Fair Haven).  By the way, are Tommy Pants and Kevin Wong in a competition to see which one can attend the most community events on the peninsula?  When it comes to RFH events, KWong is like the Channel 7 News Van.  He’s everywhere.  I heard he even goes to RFH chess team competitions.

Phil “The Hair” Conover: with a head of hair like that, Phil should be running for U.S. Senate, not playing basketball with a bunch of washed up ballers in Fair Haven.  How much hair product does Phil use pre-game so that not one hair is displaced during a game?  Does he reapply at halftime?  Speaking of hair, this is the first year in quite some time that we will have no players in the league that use hair accessories.  Johnny “The Fireman” Careiro retired and took his collection of girly headbands to Florida.  Colin cut his hair a couple of years back, with no Samson-like consequences.  And Denny Testa, the only guy in league history to wear hair accessories without actually needing them, is not playing this year.  Anyway, who will The Hair draft on his team?  He brings youth to the table, so maybe he goes with a grizzled vet like McGarvey.  But McGarvey hasn’t seen the Winners Circle in a long time.  To use a Michael Jordan comparison, McGarvey is currently in the Washington Wizards phase of his career.  But to his credit, Joe is trying to shake things up this year.  Unlike years past, when getting his $100 league fee was like getting water from a stone, McGarvey wasn’t the last guy to pay this year.  Speaking of which, the draft party is the perfect time for the cheapskates who haven’t paid yet to hand me their check.