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👀◀️5️⃣   A look back at EP-nation, 5 years ago:   

2020-12:  EP's Plate 9 in 1st Inning, Sorta Walk it Off in 6th vs. Plankton

September 15, 2020

On a beautiful, sunny, fall-like Tuesday evening, the Empty Pitchers played host to the Fighting Plankton at Cove Park in Wethersfield, in the third meeting of the season between these two longtime rivals.  The Plankton had squeezed out a narrow 12-10 victory over the EPs back on July 9th, then managed an even narrower 13-12 win a couple of weeks later, on July 23rd.  So it was incumbent on the EPs to avoid the sweep, to defend their home turf, and to salvage some pride as we near the end of the truncated 2020 softball season.  Not to mention, a win would get the EPs back to .500, as we came into play sporting a 5-6 record.

The Plankton came out swinging to start the game, plating 3 quick runs in the top of the 1st to jump ahead, 3-0.  Would the Empty Pitchers respond?  You betcha!  The EPs not only came back; they put together their most productive inning of the season!  Eric and Jon led off with consecutive base hits to get the ball rolling.  One out later, Rob got the EPs on the board with an rbi-single, scoring Eric, and Jocelyn's hit scored Jon to cut the deficit to 3-2.  With two outs, Josh drove in the tying run (Rob) with a hit, and Ron's single loaded the bases for Nancy.  Her pop-up was dropped by the third baseman for a run-scoring error, as Jocelyn crossed the plate, and the Empty Pitchers had the lead, 4-3.  Nate drove a single into the outfield to score both Josh and Ron, making it 6-3, but we weren't done yet!  Joe then cleared the bases with a monster 3-run homer (8th season, 9th career) to complete our impressive 9-run 1st inning and give the EPs a commanding advantage at 9-3.

Our opponents crept a run closer with a single run in the 2nd, and the EPs failed to respond, despite singles by Eric and Tino in the inning.  And when the Fighting Plankton notched 4 more runs in the 3rd to cut our lead to 9-8, thing began to look dicey.  

Mike singled with one out in the bottom of the 3rd, taking second on the second baseman's errant throw past first, then coming around to score on Ron's single to left field.  That padded the tally to 10-8, but there was still plenty of game to go.

Starting pitcher Chris shut down the Plankton bats in the 4th, and reliever Bob (W, 1-0) held them to only one run in the 5th to again make it a one-run affair at 10-9.  Meanwhile, the EP offense sputtered, unable to add any insurance runs, even with a triple by Joe in the bottom of the 4th, and successive one-out singles by Bob, Eric and Jon in the 5th.

In the top of the 6th, the Plankton pushed a single run across to knot the score at 10-10, and with twilight quickly encroaching, the EPs needed to waken their bats in a hurry.  In the home-half of the 6th, Mike singled with one out, and then Josh stepped in and the ball went out, deep to left-centerfield for a 2-run homerun (1st season, 5th career) and a 12-10 lead.  For good measure, Ron and Nate singled, before Joe smacked a 2-run double that made it 14-10.  At this point, the Plankton waved the white flag of surrender, feeling that it would be too dark for them to even attempt a comeback.  EPs win!

The victory evens our overall 2020 record to 6-6, 5-3 at home.

The offensive player of the game was Joe, who went 3-for-3 with a double, triple and homerun, a run scored and 5 rbi.  Also of note was Josh (2-for-3 with a homerun, 2 runs scored and 3 rbi), while Eric and Ron were both 3-for-3.

On the defensive side, there were plenty of great plays:

• In the top of the 2nd, with the bases loaded and no outs, Tino fielded a grounder to shortstop, flipped to Mike at third for one out, who threw to Jocelyn at second for the twin killing, ultimately limiting the Plankton to only one run in the inning.
• In the top of the 3rd, Nate made his patented knee-sliding catch of a sinking liner to leftfield.
• In the top of the 6th, with runners at first and second, Mike dove at a smash between shortstop and third, and when the ball deflected off his glove, Tino adroitly scooped up the ball, outran the Plankton runner, and dove headfirst for the third base bag, getting the forceout there.
• In the top of the 7th, Rob caught a flyball to left field, and when the runner from second tried to tag up and advance to third, he nailed him with a perfect strike to Mike at the base for an easy tagout.
• But without a doubt, the most unbelievable play of the game (and perhaps of the season) was made by Jocelyn, who, during her first at-bat, fouled a pitch back and directly into the trash barrel stationed about 20-feet behind home plate.  And for those who missed it, in her second trip to the plate, SHE ACTUALLY DID IT AGAIN (although this time the softball rimmed out)!  Steph Curry's got nothin' on our Bubbles!

Notes & Numbers:

• The more the merrier:  Through 12 games this 2020 season, a total of 26 players have now appeared in a game for the Empty Pitchers.  5 different EPs have made an appearance at pitcher.
• Perfect attendance award:  To this point, only Joe, Tino and Mike have appeared in every EP game this year.  (FWIW, at the other end of the spectrum, 6 players have played in exactly one game.)
• Right place, right time:  Although Bob was charged with the EPs first blown save of the season on Tuesday, he picked up the win and got a hit, to boot!  Its hard to be upset with someone who's batting 1.000 (1-for-1) on the year, and is undefeated on the mound (1-0).  Keep it up, slugger!
• Milestones (since 2015):  All in the 1st inning, Tino's took his 300th career at-bat (3rd place all-time);  Chris took his 250th career at-bat (7th place all-time);  Nate took his 225th career at-bat (8th place all-time);  and Joe took his 50th career at-bat (24th place all-time), which now qualifies him for the all-time batting title!
• Team milestones (2020 season):  When Jon reached on a fielder's choice in the 2nd inning, it was the 500th plate appearance for the 2020 EPs.  When Nate flew out to open the 4th inning, it was the 500th at-bat for the EPs this year.  Nate scored the team's 150th run of the season in the 1st inning.  Josh's 6th-inning homerun was the EP's 250th hit, and also our 25th team homerun of 2020, which means that, if you do the math, a full 10% of our hits this year have been 4-baggers.  Joe picked up our 40th team double in the 6th inning, and our 10th team triple in the 4th inning.
• Did you know?:  The name Nathan Smith anagrams to, among other things:  "thin man hats";  "mash that inn";  and my personal favorite, "ninth asthma".

[Yesterday was my brother James' birthday.  It's now Friday night as I write this recap, and I got to thinking about how when I was a kid, Friday nights always meant sitting down with my brother to watch The Dukes of Hazzard!  That's the show that taught me that you could evade a ticket from the police if you can only reach the county line!  Read only the red-highlighted words for the lyrics to the show's theme song, as sung by Waylon Jennings.]

  I  just  hate to say it, folks, but thank God the season is winding down to its inevitable end.  After what was  a  fairly typical up-and-down,  good -and-bad season for us, we  ol' boys  and young girls of the Empty Pitchers have of late fallen into an inexplicable funk on both offense and defense that has seen us get absolutely mauled for four consecutive weeks and counting.  We've  never  gone through such a slump before,  meanin'  this season's getting ugly, and could  no  doubt do permanent  harm  to our collective psyches.  Since our last win on August 14th (a tidy 8-7 victory over the Line Drivers), we've been manhandled, suffering losing  beats  of 24-12 by inDRStructible; 22-5 by Caught Lookin'; 34-7 by The Dream Team; and now (spoiler alert,  all !) 18-4 at the hands of the Fighting Plankton in our penultimate game of 2025.  Oof.  Bet  you never saw  this streak coming.  We've  been in  the doldrums and having  trouble  for sure!  Come on, off-season!

Anyway,  with  hope in our hearts that  the law  of averages would turn in our favor on Thursday evening, the EPs travelled to the L.P. Wilson Community Center in Windsor to take on our old archrivals, the Fighting Plankton From Hell, against whom we came in with a 12-11 record  since the  2014 season.  This  day  was a rescheduling  they  agreed to of our game that  was  rained out back on July 31st,  born  out of their desire to end their season against the EPs.  The weather was near-perfect this time out, sunny and comfortable.  But unfortunately, there were some other issues that needed  straight'nin'  out:  the field was besieged by a biblical plague of flying insects; there was a kid riding an obnoxiously loud motor bike around and around  the curves  of the path encircling the field area (I was this close to  flat'nin'  him); and of course, there's the old "early sunset" problem that kicks in this late in the season as the sun drops behind  the hills .  Still, it's great to be playing ball, right?   Someday , I'll retire from softball, but today won't be that day!

Eric got us started up  the mountain  in grand fashion in the top of the 1st with a lead-off double, then tagged and advanced to third when Tino flew out to left-center.  Rob showed his  might  as he knocked a base hit to git 'er done and  get 'em  home, and the EPs drew first blood at 1-0!   But  equally nice, Franchise took  the  proverbial mound in the bottom of the inning, and established  law  and order, blanking the Plankton.  Things were looking mighty fine!  Yeeeeee-haw!!!

In the 2nd, . . . um, not so much, and for the remainder of the contest, they  never will  again.  The EPs went down in order on two grounders and a lineout,  makin'  it five straight EPs retired.  And meanwhile, the Plankton found their footing and had  their way  with us, scoring seven times, jumping way out in front, 7-1.

Joe was having none of it, as he led off the top of the 3rd with a blast over the rightfielder for a solo homerun (2nd season, 39th career) that closed  the  gap to  only  7-2!  Justin followed with an infield hit, and it looked like we were on our  way  to a big rally.  But three straight groundouts ended all thoughts of a comeback in the inning.  Meanwhile, the Plankton?   They  couldn't touch Ron and the EP defense, as we hung another zero for them on the scoreboard, wouldn'tcha  know !

 How  did the next inning go?  The 4th saw Eric leading off again, and he ripped a single to set the table.   That's  awesome, but apparently no one was hungry, as  just  two fly balls and  a little  groundout followed, leaving us with no runs to show for it.  A  bit more  on the positive side, the Plankton weren't looking too peckish either, as they failed to score for the third time in four frames.  Nothing's sweeter  than  shuttin' 'em down with the gloves!

The pitchers duel continued in the top of the 5th, with the EPs going down 1-2-3 on a flyout, a groundout and a popout.  Man, that should be against  the law !  How  will  we score runs if we don't get any hits?  In the home-half of the inning, our opponents broke through at last, as we proceeded to  allow  them to plate five more runs, to increase their advantage to 12-2.

Surprisingly, the falling of dusk was slow enough (or maybe we were  just  making outs so quickly) that we were still able to continue playing  a  while longer.  We didn't make  good  use of the opportunity, though, as Joe's one-out double in the top of the  ol'  6th was our only threat.  And the Plankton  boys  responded in the last-half of the inning with six insurance runs, including a grand slam, to blast the game open at 18-2.  Ugh.

But the EPs have some pride, and to our credit, we  wouldn't  just quit.  Fausto punched a single between third and short for a single to begin the top of the 7th, then moved to second on Chelsea's groundout.  Maybe the game's momentum was about to  change !  Eric tried to rip one down the thirdbase line, but the Plankton third baseman made a really nice backhanded stop and gunned him down at first.  Down to our final out, the Plankton would have closed us out right there  if they could , but Tino banged a single that allowed Fausto to come in, cutting it to 18-3!  Then Rob hit a bomb to left that went for a triple, scoring Tino with our fourth run, 18-4!  But that was it.  No further damage done, and no use  fightin' the system  by asking to play more innings -- it was getting too dark.  An 18-4 defeat it was.

The loss drops our 2025 record to,  like ,  a  rather sad 6-15.  We are now 3-7 at home, 3-8 on the road.  We are 0-2 in September, with one game remaining on the schedule.

The offensive player of the game was Joe, who went 2-for2 with a double and a homerun, a run scored and an rbi.  Close behind were Rob (2-for-3 with a triple and  two  rbi) and Tino (1-for-3 with a run scored and an rbi).  On defense, leftfielder Rob made the catch of the day as he charged in on a dying quail of a flyball, . . . bobbled, . . . bobbled, and finally secured the ball for the inning-ending out.  Left-centerfielder Eric made a grab of a deep drive to centerfield, stealing a potential homerun away from the Plankton batter like a  modern-day Robin Hood .  The outfielders in general did a fine job catching a number of sky-high flyballs while contending with the clouds of bugs in the way.  And from the Department of Almost, third baseman Mike made a diving stop of a one-hopper down the third base line, but was unable to throw the hitter out at first.  On the pitching side, Franchise threw a complete game, while walking only one batter (yeah, the Plankton play with walks) all game, taking the loss and falling to 3-10 for the season.

Notes & Numbers

• In a tailspin:  The Empty Pitchers have now lost four consecutive games by 12 or more runs.  We had not lost any other game by 12+ runs all season!
• Records in jeopardy:  With one game remaining this season, Eric has 72 at-bats;  the record is 78, set by Eric in 2017.  Joe and Rob have 10 doubles this season;  the record is 13, set by Joe in 2020.  Eric has 40 runs scored this season;  the record is 42, set by Nate in 2024.  Rob has 38 rbi this season;  the record is 45, set by Tino in 2021.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Ron has now had 550 career at-bats as an Empty Pitcher (5th-most all-time).  Justin's 3rd-inning single was his 25th career at-bat (tied 41st-most all-time).  Rob's 7th-inning triple was his 30th career three-bagger (2nd-most all-time).  This game was Ron's 100th appearance as a pitcher (2nd all-time only to Chris' 111 games pitched).
• Team milestones:  Fausto's single in the 7th inning was our team's 750th plate appearance of the season.  Rob's triple in the 7th inning was the 20th three-bagger of the year for the EPs.  Joe's 3rd-inning homerun was only the 10th homerun of 2025 by the whole team.

"I'm gonna git them Fightin' Plankton boys if it's the last thing I do!" -- Boss Hogg

😱  😡  😕  🤬  😖  🥵

Over the course of the history of the Empty Pitchers, we've been a smidge-under-.500-ish team.  We win some, we lose some.  We've blown some teams out (I'm lookin' at you, Grass Stains), and we've been on the receiving end of some beat-downs (see almost every time we played the now-defunct Capital Stars/aka Hartford Stars/aka Pretty Reckless).  And over time, some weak teams improve and grow into good teams, while some really solid teams lose players and get older and less competitive.  It comes with the territory.  

But what happened last Thursday was different.  And kinda ugly.

On Thursday, the Empty Pitchers hosted The Dream Team at Cove Park in Wethersfield, for our final home game of the 2025 season.  Now, understand that TDT has been a pretty tough opponent for the EPs -- we came into Thursday with an all-time record of 3-13 against them.  Earlier this season, they beat us 17-14 on May 21; and again 17-11 on June 25.  But those games were close-fought.  They were a battle.  And the last time we played TDT at Cove Park, on August 15 of 2024, we outlasted them, 24-23, for the victory.  But this time, it was different.

The Dream Team opened the top of the 1st with a multitude of hits, including a pair of deep homeruns, scoring 7 times to take a commanding early lead.  No problem.  We get to hit too, right?  But the EPs meekly went down in order in the home-half of the 1st, thanks to a groundout and a pair of flyouts.

TDT homered a couple of times (including losing a softball into the cove) and added three more runs in the top of the 2nd, reaching double-digits at 10-0.  But this time, the EPs had an answer.  Rob led things off with a single, and Nancy followed with a base-knock of her own to put a couple of runners aboard with nobody out.  Chelsea's fielder's choice grounder to second moved Rob over to third, before Tino destroyed a pitch to left-centerfield for a massive 3-run homerun (1st season, 33rd career).  Jocelyn also singled in the inning, but we failed to augment our total, and trailed 10-3 at the end of the 2nd.

Franchise was settling down on the mound by now, holding TDT to "only" a pair of runs in the top of the 3rd, as they went ahead 12-3.  A daunting climb for the EPs, sure, but doable.  Ron led off the bottom of the 3rd with a grounder to third, and reached when the fielder threw the ball past the first baseman for an error.  Two quick outs followed, but our rally was just beginning.  Nate singled to put two on.  Joe singled to load the bases.  And then Rob mashed a triple over the outfielders' heads, clearing the bags as Ron, Nate and Joe all motored home to cut the deficit to 12-6!  Nancy laced a single over the head of the shortstop, and Rob trotted home to make it 12-7!  It was comeback city!

And I hope you enjoyed that attempt at a comeback, because that was pretty much it for the EPs this evening.  TDT smashed a few more homers in the top of the 4th, tacking on five more runs to go up 17-7.  Meanwhile, the EPs were retired in 1-2-3 fashion in the bottom of the 4th, on two flyouts and a strikeout.  [sigh]

As if trailing by 10 runs wasn't discouraging enough, it got even worse in the top of the 5th.  Much, much worse.  I mean, if you have young children in your household, you may wish to shield their eyes from this next part.  The Dream Team proceeded to hit and hit and hit and hit and hit, with most of their batted balls going way, way over our outfielders for mammoth homeruns.  Again and again.  And again.  It was like watching the Hindenburg slowly crash and burn.  By the time the third out was mercifully recorded, they had scored 17 more runs, taking a 34-7 advantage.  Yeah, you read that correctly, . . . 34.  Oh, the humanity!

With darkness descending on the park, and the abominable score notwithstanding, we agreed that the bottom of the 5th would conclude these proceedings.  Ron managed a one-out single, but that was all we could put together.  A quiet ending, and a 34-7 loss.

About that . . . you can place a huge asterisk on that final score, as it appears that TDT was using an illegal (or what should be made illegal) bat.  Almost every TDT batter shared one particular bat, a WINDY CITY model designed for hitting mushballs in indoor competition.  Although the bat apparently was not labelled a composite, which are banned in this league, the sound of the bat strikiing the ball was certainly that of a composite.  And the ball flew.  Harder and deeper than most of us have ever seen softballs hit.  The Dream Team, as mentioned above, has always been a good, solid squad, but they've never hit with such power before in any of the 16 times we've played them.  Never.  It's certainly suspicious, and will hopefully be addressed by the league commissioner prior to next season.

Anyway, the loss sours our 2025 record to 6-14.  We are now 3-7 at home, 3-7 on the road.

The offensive player of the game was Rob, who went 2-for-2 with a triple, 2 runs scored and 3 rbi.  Also of note were Tino (1-for-2 with a homerun, run scored and 3 rbi) and Nancy (2-for-2 with an rbi).  On the defensive end, third baseman Mike made a diving play towards the line, gloving a hard grounder to third, then spun (on his butt) and threw a high lob to second baseman Jocelyn, who leapt, caught the throw, and toed the second base bag ahead of the incoming TDT runner for the forceout.  Nate also made one of his great patented knee-sliding catches of a sinking line-drive into leftfield.  On the pitching side, Franchise threw a complete game, taking the loss to fall to 3-9 on the season.

Notes & Numbers

• Ouch!:  The Dream Team scored 34 runs against us on Thursday.  How rare was that outburst?  That represents the most runs scored by one team in an Empty Pitchers game since the EPs defeated Jim's Pick-Up Team 36-23 on October 4, 2020 at Charter Oak Park in Manchester.  For the last time an opponent scored at least that many runs against the EPs, you have to go all the way back to June 12, 2018, when the New Britain Bar Association Master Batters (try to fit that on a jersey) crushed us 35-6 at Chesley Park in New Britain.  That was over 7 years ago!
• Winning the inning:  Some coaches preach that the secret to winning the game is to win each individual inning.  For example, in today's game, we won just one inning, the 3rd, where we outscored TDT 4-2.  We were outscored in the 1st (7-0); 4th (5-0); and 5th (17-0).  We tied in the 2nd (3-3).  That's an inning record of 1-3-1.  For the season, we have a game record of 6-14, and an inning record of 44-54-27.  I guess we need to win more innings, huh?
• Milestones (since 2015):  Rob has now played in 175 career games with the EPs (5th-most all-time).  Nate has played in 150 career games as an EP (7th-most all-time).  Tino's 2nd-inning homerun was his 600th career at-bat (3rd-most all-time).  Rob scored for the 225th time in his career in the 2nd inning (tied 3rd-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Tino's 2nd-inning homerun was the 700th at-bat by an EP this season.  Ron's 5th-inning single was the 450th total base by an EP this year.

People like lists. 

I don't purport to know why that is, exactly, but they do.  We make lists for everything, from grocery lists, to honey-do lists, to bucket lists, to David Letterman's Top 10 Lists, to the e-mail lists on our phones.  If you look online, you can find "The 18 Funniest Detention Slips Ever Issued."  Or how about, "The 10 Dumbest Things to Do When You're Bored"?  Or even, "The Greatest Lists Ever," an actual list of lists!  How, um . . . meta.

So this week, I present you with our weekly game recap, but in list form.  Enjoy!

On Thursday, the Empty Pitchers travelled to Newington High School to take on Caught Lookin' for the second time this season.  We lost, 16-5, back on July 24, when we only had ten players and only two of them female.  So this time around, we went in the other direction, featuring a veritable crowd of 14 players, five of whom were of the fairer persuasion.  Would it make a difference?

The Greatest (or Worst) 4 Innings in Thursday's (4-Inning) Game:

1. Caught Lookin' came out hot, striking early with six big runs to jump out to a 6-0 advantage.  Oof.  The Empty Pitchers response in the bottom of the 1st?  There was none.  We went down in order on a grounder to short and a pair of flyballs to right-centerfield.
2. From the Department of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Caught Lookin' tacked on another half-dozen runs in the top of the 2nd inning, extending their lead to 12-0.  Ugh.  This time, however, the EPs had some kind of answer.  Rob opened the action with a leadoff single, then advanced to second base, barely avoiding the double-play, on Erienne's groundout to first.  That put him in scoring position, and he did indeed score, when Nancy belted an rbi-single that got the EPs on the board at 12-1.  Tino and Mike followed with base hits to load the bases with only one out.  Fausto's grounder to short was mashed hard enough that the shortstop couldn't handle it cleanly, and Nancy scored on the error to make it 12-2.  With the bases still full, Jocelyn knocked a comebacker to the mound; the pitcher fielded it, and fumbled it while racing Tino to the plate.  A semi-collision ensued, with the base-coaches declaring Tino safe at home, to get us to 12-3!  Ron then ripped a shot down the thirdbase line, with Mike and Fausto coming across the dish, and now it was 12-5 with runners at first and second!  Unfortunately, a 1-4-3 double-play then ended the rally right there, but hey, the EPs were back in the ballgame!
3. Following our five-run rally in the bottom of the 2nd, the EPs were happy to hold Caught Lookin' to only two runs in the top of the 3rd.  But now trailing 14-5, we couldn't do anything in the home-half of the 3rd, settling for a popout, lineout, and flyout in our second 1-2-3 inning of the game.
4. And then the bottom fell out.  Caught Lookin' rumbled their way to an eight-run outburst in the top of the 4th, blowing the game wide open, at 22-5.  And even worse, that late-summer dusk was firmly in place by now, so it was decided that unless the EPs could put together a massive comeback inning, this would be the final half-inning.  In short, we couldn't . . . come back, I mean.  Joe reached on a one-out single, but that was it.  Then it was popout, fielder's choice groundout, game over, line up to slap hands.

List of the Empty Pitchers' Uniformly Disappointing Current Records:

• 2025 season . . . 6-13
• As home team . . . 3-6
• As visiting team . . . 3-7
• In the month of August . . . 2-5
• Versus Caught Lookin' this year . . . 0-2

List of our Spectacular Post-Game Award-winners:

• Offensive players of the game . . . Nancy (1-for-1 with a run scored and an rbi) & Ron (1-for-1 with 2 rbi)
• Defensive play of the game . . . In the top of the 4th inning, following a Caught Lookin' single into left-centerfield with Karolina on first, outfielder Rob gloved the ball, tossed to his cut-off man in shortstop Caleb, who turned and fired to third baseman Tino, who slapped the tag on Karolina, who was trying to go from first to third on the play.
• Pitcher of the game . . . Ron (3-8), who pitched a complete game while striking out one batter.

"What I hated about this game" List:

• We lost, 22-5.  Losing always sucks.
• Thanks to the sunsets getting earlier and earlier this time of year, we only got to play 4 innings.
• Going back to last year, we have now lost 3 straight games to Caught Lookin', failing to score in double digits in any of them.
• I only got one at-bat all night.  Most of you did, too.  Poor Justin only saw one pitch, for cryin' out loud!  (That's why you never swing at the first pitch, BTW.)

"What I loved about this game" List:

1. We got to play the beautiful game of softball on a beautiful field, on a beautiful summer evening with our beautiful friends.  Beautiful!
2. We got Fausto back from injury, and Rob and Jeff back from illness.
3. We got to meet our newest EP, Chelsea.  (I swear we're better than this, Chelsea!)
4. We got to play as the home team, even though we were on our opponents' field.

Notes & Numbers

• Weak sauce:  I'll grant you that this was a darkness-shortened 4-inning game, but offensively, we managed only 6 singles.  No extra-base hits at all.  The last time we failed to register a double, triple or homerun in a game?  May 18, 2023, when we lost 18-5 to, you guessed it, Caught Lookin' at Newington High School.  We actually played eight innings that evening, since we had plenty of daylight, and picked up 17 base hits, but none went for more than a single.
• Even weaker sauce:  On Thursday, we had 6 hits in 19 at-bats, for a team batting average of only .316.  That's the lowest team BA we've had since our 12-5 loss to the Fighting Plankton on June 19, 2025, when we hit .281 (9-for-32).
• Milestones (since 2015):  Tino scored for the 225th time in his EP career in the 2nd inning (3rd-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  When Erienne hit into a fielder's choice in the 4th inning, it was our team's 700th at-bat of the season.  When Fausto reached base on an error by the shortstop in the 2nd inning, it was the 40th time an EP has gotten on base via an error this year.

[Editor's note:  At this time, everybody please rise, read the red-highlighted words, and sing along with Harry Caray!]

7 times in this 2025 season, the Empty Pitchers have played as the home team in a softball game, and have only managed to take a measly three of those contests.  But that meant that on Thursday evening, the EPs had a chance to level their home record at 4-4 with a victory, as they hosted Jim Chakulski's inDRStructible (DRS) team at Cove Park/DMV under warm, sunny skies.  Let me tell you, DRS has been a tough out to get over the years, with the EPs going just 6-18 against them since the 2014 season.    

This year, DRS won 2-0 in a rain-shortened ball game at Colt Park back in May, then outlasted the EPs 10-9 to take the first game of the Cove Cup Tournament on August 2nd.  So the games have seemed close and competitive to me, and one less out here, one extra clutch hit there (and with a little luck), the EPs could very easily have won both of those games.

Honestly, it was a near thing for the EPs to simply field a team this day, as many of the usual crowd of players were absent.  Illness and work concerns caused four expected players to drop out near game time, and I was ready to buy the fact that a forfeit looked imminent.  But both "maybes", Jocelyn and Tino, were able to attend, while Angela was a surprise addition, so along with me and some other EPs, we were still able to bat some eleven players.  DRS, meanwhile, only had two female players, and agreed to bat them both twice per turn through the lineup.  That's not peanuts, as it balanced the four female players we were featuring.  And, the DRS women would also have to play out in the field (instead of at catcher).

In the field, a dearth of EP outfielders forced our usual cracker jack first baseman Joe into rightfield, with Nancy manning the bag at first today.

Notching a pair of runs in the top of the 1st against EP starting pitcher Franchise, DRS jumped out to an early 2-0 lead.  But I don't really care if they did, because I have faith that the EPs would do even better!  EPs never give up!  We'd get those runs right back, and more!  (By the way, third baseman Mike had two linedrive catches in the half-inning, one a leaping screamer and the other more of a soft knuckler.)

Naturally, the EPs did indeed fire back.  Let me elaborate.  Eric opened the bottom of the 1st with a solid double, then sprinted home on Nate's single into rightfield.  Even better, Nate took second when the right-centerfielder (George) charged in and overran the ball for an error.  Joe tried to go to left with a pitch, but his bullet linedrive was snagged by the third baseman (Scott) for the first out.  Not a problem though, as Tino followed with a booming triple to plate the Nate, and even up the score at 2-2.  I continued to root, root, root for more hits and runs, but unfortunately, with one out and a runner at third, we were unable to get Tino home and take the lead -- a missed opportunity.

Instead, it remained tied into the top of the 2nd, where DRS found their footing and exploded for seven big runs, opening up a 9-2 advantage.

Not to be outdone, the home team EPs attempted to respond in kind.  Nancy led off the bottom of the 2nd with a single, and one out later, Ron singled.  Justin then reached first when his infield bouncer was mishandled by the pitcher for an error, loading the bases with just one out!  If we were going to come back, this was the time!  But then a grounder to short turned into a tailor-made 6-6-3 double-play, and our threat went by the board, as they say.  Another missed opportunity, as a hit there might have plated several runs and led to a big inning.

Going to the 3rd, DRS squeezed out just a single run, padding their lead to 10-2.  But don't worry, with the top of the order due up in the home-half of the frame, the EPs got back to work.  Doc singled to get us started.  Nate scorched a liner to left, but the fielder made the catch for the first out.  Joe singled, before Tino lofted a flyball to leftfield for out number two.  A single past the shortstop by Mike plated Eric, cutting the deficit to 10-3, and Jae ripped a single to left to load the bases!  We could do this . . . we could rally to win!  It's time for a big blow!  But a fielder's choice groundout killed the rally, and we stranded three more runners.  What a shame!

So we went to the 4th inning, and DRS poured it on, scoring a half-dozen times to extend their lead to a dominant 16-3.  Oof.  It might have been even worse, but the inning came to a close when left-centerfielder Eric fielded a single and fired to shortstop Tino at the second base bag, who slapped a quick tag on the runner for the third out.  Nice -- it's big plays like that that kept our hopes for a comeback alive!  Our big response?  The EPs went down in order -- one, two, three -- in the bottom of the 4th.  [facepalm]

To the 5th inning, the frame where inDRStructible strikes yet again.  This time, they cobbled together a four-run outbreak, upping their advantage to 20-3.  Ouch.  It's been awhile since we've suffered a beatdown like this.  You're correct if you're thinking this one was over.

Really, though, EPs don't give up.  Cue Angela, who punched a ball down the third base line and beat out the play for her first hit of the year!  Eric singled, and then Nate smacked a triple to clear the bases, and it was now 20-5!  Joe's double brought Nate home to make it 20-6!  And then Tino blasted his second triple of the evening to knock Joe across the dish, making it 20-7!  Mike's single to center allowed Tino to cross, and just like that, we were making some noise, at 20-8!  Look out, DRS!  Or not, because the next three EP hitters went down quietly.  

Energized by our attempt at a comeback, perhaps, DRS refocused and tacked on yet another four insurance runs, ballooning the score to an embarrassing 24-8.

To be fair, by this point, our goal changed from trying to win the game, to maybe just trying to reach double figures.  You know, small victories and all that.  Something to build on, and yada, yada, yada . . . other old adages.  To that end, Justin whacked the ball and dropped a single into left with one out, and with two down, Eric picked up his third single, and fourth hit, of the game.  That set the table nicely for Nate, who crushed a three-run homerun (2nd season, 10th career) to left, shrinking the lead to 24-11.  Yay, double figures!  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!  But we wanted more, right?  So Joe singled, Tino doubled him over to third, and Mike singled him home.  Jae then destroyed a pitch to left, but right at the leftfielder, who gloved it to end the inning, and thanks to the encroaching darkness, the game.  It's a loss, but hopefully, 24-12 doesn't look so bad.

Counting this game, our 2025 record drops to a disappointing 6-12.  We are now 3-5 at home, and 3-7 on the road.

Having a monster game, Nate was our offensive player of the game, going 3-for-4 with a triple, homer, 3 runs scored and 6 rbi!  Also worthy of note were Eric (4-for-4 with a double and 4 runs scored) and Tino (3-for-4 with a double, 2 triples, a run scored and 2 rbi).  Defensively, there was the out at second mentioned above, as well as a diving catch of a line drive by Tino for the first out of the top of the 6th inning.  Mike was busy, catching five, yes five, line drives to third, but none were as difficult as Tino's grab.  Pitcher Ron's record falls to 3-7 on the season, despite throwing a complete game.

Notes & Numbers

• The Producer:  Nate had 3 runs scored and 6 rbi in the game.  The last time an EP had as many as 9 runs+rbi was back on May 1, 2025 (game #2 of this season) in our 26-14 win versus the Line Drivers, when Joe scored 5 times and drove in 6 runs (11), while Rob had 5 runs scored and 5 rbi (10).
• Curb stomped:  At one point in this game, the EPs trailed DRS 20-3.  The last time we trailed by 17 or more runs was back on August 3, 2024 (game #3 of the Cove Cup Tournament), when we were down 21-3 to No Glove, No Love after 5-1/2 innings.  We ultimately lost that game 21-4, and have played 25 (much closer) games since then.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Mike has now played in 225 career games with the EPs (most all-time).  Eric's 3rd-inning single was his 700th career at-bat (most all-time).  Nate's 6th-inning homerun was his 500th career at-bat (7th-most all-time).  Nate hit his 25th career triple in the 5th inning (tied 3rd-most all-time).  Nate hit his 10th career homerun in the 6th inning (tied 9th-most all-time).  Eric scored for the 300th time in his EP career in the 6th inning (most all-time).  Mike picked up his 200th career rbi with his 6th-inning single (4th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  When Jocelyn struck out in the 2nd inning, it was the 650th plate appearance of the season by an EP.  When Tino flew out to left-center in the 3rd inning, it was the 650th at-bat of 2025 by an EP.  Nate scored our team's 200th run of the year with his 6th-inning homerun.  Tino hit our 50th team double of the season in the 6th inning.  Tino picked up the EP's 175th rbi of the year with his 5th-inning triple.
• Records in danger:  At-bats in a season -- Eric needs 12 more ABs to tie his all-time record of 78 ABs, set in 2017.  Hits in a season -- Eric needs 10 more hits to tie Mike's all-time record of 51 hits, set in 2024.  Doubles in a season -- Rob needs 3 more doubles, and Joe needs 4 more doubles, to tie Joe's all-time record of 13 doubles, set in 2020.  Runs scored in a season -- Eric needs 3 more runs scored to tie Nate's all-time record of 42 runs, set in 2024.  RBI in a season -- Joe and Rob both need 12 more rbi to tie Tino's all-time record of 45 rbi, set in 2021.

Cubs win . . . Cubs win! 

[Editor's note:  Oops!  In the entirety of the write-up below, I forgot to ever mention the name of the team we were playing.  Well, I shouldn't have to spell it out for you . . . ]

The Empty Pitchers have been going through a rough stretch.  Over our previous eight games, we have won just once, that being our 17-11 victory over E.coli Happens in game #2 of the Cove Cup Tournament earlier this month.  1-7.  Oof.  That's just not competitive enough.  Granted, five of those seven losses have come on the road, so maybe some home cooking would do us good.  It couldn't hurt, right?

Hence, Thursday evening found the Empty Pitchers going home again to Cove Park/DMV in Wethersfield.  Following back-to-back losses to the always-tough No Glove, No Love, it was perhaps time for a palate cleanser, a slightly easier opponent to battle.  How about a team we've never lost to, going 3-0 coming into this game?  And to that end, the team from the Connecticut Department of Transportation made their second trip to the Cove this season, looking to avenge their 26-14 loss to the EPs back on May 1st.

Enjoying typical August weather -- sunny, hot and humid -- the teams got underway despite a minor tweak by the EPs.  With only two female players available, Jocelyn and Nancy would need to bat in a third spot in the batting order, and young Justin would be called upon to handle the catching duties.

Little trouble was had by EP starting pitcher Franchise, as he mowed down our opponents and held them scoreless in the top of the 1st inning.  The same could not be said of the bottom of the frame, however, as Nate doubled with one out, and moved to third on a single by Joe.  Rob ripped an rbi-double to plate Nate, and the EPs had drawn first blood, at 1-0.  Joe then scored on a productive groundout back to the pitcher by Jocelyn, giving the EPs a small but solid early 2-0 advantage.

In the top of the 2nd, Ron kept on dealing, and our opponents could not get on the scoreboard.  The EPs did score in the home-half, though, with Mike reaching when his one-out grounder to third was fielded, but thrown wide of the first baseman for a two-base error.  He advanced to third on Ron's groundout, then trotted home when Justin came through with a clutch two-out single to leftfield, picking up his first career rbi in the process!  3-0 EPs!

Nothing but futility for our opponents in the top of the 3rd, as Ron's shutout continued.  Meanwhile, the EP bats kept piling on.  Eric led off the bottom of the frame with a single, then sprinted all the way around to score on Nate's second double of the ballgame to make it 4-0!  Joe singled, and took second when the throw from right-centerfield went to third to hold Nate there.  Rob then blew the game open with an absolute bomb to deep leftfield, a three-run homerun (3rd season, 41st all-time) over the outfielders to extend the EP lead to 7-0!  Jocelyn and Nancy followed with successive infield hits to reset the table, still with nobody out, but two fly balls to left and a groundout short-circuited the rally.  Still, 7-0 after 3 innings?  This game had all the earmarks of a genuine feel-good blowout!

Every game seems to have a turning point, however, and the 4th inning was it for this game.

Digging deep for some sign of life, our opponents finally managed a few hits in the top of the 4th, successfully breaking the seal on their run-scoring, and plating a pair of runs, cutting their deficit to 7-2.  The Empty Pitcher response?  A 1-2-3 inning, featuring a groundout sandwiched between two flyouts.  Hmm.

Responding to our non-response, the team in blue crept one run closer with a single score in the top-half of the 5th, making it 7-3.  This time, the EPs did something about it.  With one out in the last of the 5th, Joe broke a string of seven straight EPs retired with a booming double.  Rob singled him to third.  And Joe then crossed the dish on a fielder's choice groundout by Jocelyn, upping the EP lead to 8-3.  Not sexy, perhaps, but effective.  The inning continued when Nancy reached on another throwing error by the third baseman, and Caleb singled to load the bases with two outs, but Mike's grounder to third ended the party right there.

Inching closer inning-by-inning, our opponents scored another two runs in their half of the 6th, as the lead now shrunk to 8-5.  Uh-oh, we need to score some more here.  But in the bottom of the 6th, the EPs grounded out to third once, twice, three times in a row -- the second time in the game that we went down in order -- and left the door ajar for the visiting team to make a last-inning comeback.

Victory would be ours with three simple outs, but that was not to be.  Hitter after hitter reached, mainly via tapping grounders and outrunning the throws to first, and eventually they had scored twice more, reducing what had once been a 7-0 EP blowout to a measly one-run affair at 8-7.  But Ron made the tough pitches when he had to, and the EP defense held strong, and when the final fly ball settled into Eric's glove in left-centerfield, we could all exhale!  EPs wiiiiin!

Ending 8-7, this victory improves our season record to 6-11.  We are now 3-4 at home, 3-7 on the road.

Rob was this contest's offensive player of the game, going 3-for-3 with a double, homerun, run scored and 4 rbi.  Also of note were Nate (2-for-3 with 2 doubles, 2 runs scored and an rbi) and Joe (3-for-3 with a double and 3 runs scored).  Catcher Justin's grab of a shallow pop-up behind the plate was our defensive play of the game, although the entire defense did a great job today of making the plays while minimizing miscues.

Starting pitcher Ron gets the win, improving to 3-6 for the year.  He struck out one, bringing his season total to a team-leading 6 K's.

Notes & Numbers

• Hanging on:  Our last one-run victory was almost one year ago to the day!  On August 15, 2024, we just held on for a 24-23 win over The Dream Team at Cove Park/DMV.
• Hanging on II:  The last time we failed to reach double digits in runs, but still won the game, was our 9-5 victory over the Bisons on June 12 of this year.  
• Milestones (since 2015):  Rob's 3rd-inning homerun was the 350th hit of his career (4th-most all-time).  Joe's 5th-inning double was his 250th career hit (7th-most all-time).  
• Team milestones:  When Mike grounded into a fielder's choice to end the bottom of the 5th, it was the 60th fielder's choice the EPs have hit into this season.  The top of the 2nd inning was the 100th inning pitched by an EP pitcher this year.

    Who's ready for winter already?

[Editor's note:  It occurred to me that I never did my intended recap honoring the winners of the 2025 NBA and NHL championships.  Last year, we celebrated the Boston Celtics' and Florida Panthers' rosters in a write-up.  This year, the Oklahoma City Thunder won the NBA title back on June 22, while the Panthers repeated in the NHL on June 17.  Not wanting to repeat myself, I guess I'll just focus on the Thunder this year.]

  They  Shai Gilgeous-Alexander  that history tends to repeat itself.  Well, that's pretty evident to anyone who took part in Thursday's softball game between the Empty Pitchers (EPs) and No Glove, No Love (NGNL) at Sage Park in Berlin.  In the  Malevy Leons  since 2014, the two squads have faced off 10 times prior to this game, with NGNL winning every. single. time.  That's right, 10-0.  Total domination.  In fact, the EPs hosted NGNL just 5 days earlier at Cove Park/DMV in Wethersfield, as the third game of the Cove Cup Tournament.  And while the EPs put up quite a fight, forcing two extra innings, NGNL still prevailed in the end, winning the ballgame 14-11.  So why would we think this game would be any different?

Well, you never know.  Rosters change, the weather might interfere, balls can and  Jalen Williams  take funny hops . . . there's a reason we play these games on the field, and not on paper.

In this iteration of the series, the EP roster included several changes from last Saturday.  Namely, we lost the services of Jeff, Erienne and Fausto;  but we added Joe, Carlos, Nancy, Angela and Justin -- none of whom participated in the last game.  Meanwhile, NGNL was missing two of their leaders, manager Vin and Amanda.  Would this change the outcome?  Weather was not  Alex Reese  factor as, much like Saturday's game, it was warm and dry, a beautiful evening to play ball.  As to any funny hops, . . . well, that's what the write-up's for, so let's get to it.

Last Saturday, the EPs scored three times in the 1st inning.  And history did indeed repeat itself in that regard.  Eric led  Alex Caruso  off with a single, and promptly came all the way around to score on a double by Caleb.   Isaiah Joe  followed with a double of his own, plating Caleb.  The merry-go-round continued with singles by Rob and Carlos, the latter driving in Joe, and the EPs had a quick 3-0 advantage before NGNL even came to bat.  A 6-4-3 double-play short-circuited any further run-scoring, but I  Jaylin Williams  say, it was a nice start.  Unfortunately, both teams get to hit.  NGNL answered with a massive seven-run response off of our  Cason Wallace  starting pitcher Franchise, taking an early 7-3 lead and shaking the EP confidence.  Aw,  Ajay Mitchell .

Tino tried to spark a rally in the top of the 2nd with a leadoff single, and Ron added to the threat when he reached base safely on an error by the third baseman Marisa.  But a 1-6-3 double-play wiped out the scoring opportunity and ended the inning before we could  Kenrich Williams  our run total.  On the glove side, the EP pitching and defense started to settle down, limiting NGNL to only one run in the home-half of the 2nd.

Now trailing 8-3, the EP bats got to work in the top of the 3rd.  Young Justin dropped a bloop single into leftfield to lead off, and Doc followed with a base hit as well.  Caleb doubled for the second time in as many plate appearances, scoring Justin and chasing Eric to third base.  8-4!  Joe then lined a 2-run single into the outfield to bring both Eric and Caleb  Chet Holmgren , making it 8-6!  Rob also singled, putting runners at first and second with nobody out -- here we come!  But a pair of fielder's choice groundouts sandwiched around a foulout caused our rally to fizzle out right there.  On the plus side, NGNL could do nothing in the bottom of the 3rd, so the score held.

The EPs inched even closer in the top of the 4th, when Tino started us off with a double, and one out later, Ron knocked him in with a single, cutting it to a one-run game at 8-7!  But, history struck again,  Alex Ducas  yet another double-play, this of the 6-6-3 variety, snuffed out our comeback attempt.  That's three twin-killings in four innings of play.  Ugh.  Franchise continued to sparkle in the last of the 4th though, hanging another zero on NGNL and keeping it 8-7.

Looking to tie it up, or perhaps retake the lead in the top of the 5th, the flyball bug struck the EPs.  Following a flyout to left, Eric singled.  But flyballs to left and right-centerfields shut the EPs down quietly.  And NGNL wouldn't stay off the board forever.  They finally found their swings in the bottom of the 5th, managing to  Luguentz Dort  their way around the bags, dropping a three-spot on the EPs, and opening up an 11-7 advantage.

We could have given up at this point, but that's just not our  Branden Carlson .  Refusing to go away, the pesky EPs tried to storm right back.  Rob and Carlos opened the top of the 6th with back-to-back doubles, scoring Rob to get it to 11-8!  Nancy's groundout to short advanced Carlos to third, and Bubbles' groundout to short brought him home, slicing the four-run deficit in half, at 11-9!  Tino and Mike had successive singles to try to keep the comeback rolling, but we failed to produce any more runs.  Still, we were right there, chasing only two runs. We had shown a lot of  Isaiah Hartenstein  to this point, and the game was still ours to win!

And then the bottom dropped out.  NGNL went on a tear, plating a half-dozen runs in the bottom of the 6th to blow the game open, at 17-9.   Ousmane Dieng  it!

Facing our final at-bats, Eric managed a double with two outs in the top of the 7th, but that's all we could muster.  Wave the white  Adam Flagler .  No comeback tonight.  No surprise victory.  A 17-9 defeat at the hands of NGNL.  0-11.

Damn you, history.

The loss drops our 2025 season record to a disappointing 5-11.  You can  Mark Daigneault  it down that we are now 2-4 at home, 3-7 on the road.

The offensive players of the game were Caleb (2-for-4 with 2 doubles, 2 runs scored and 2 rbi) and Joe (2-for-3 with a double, run scored and 3 rbi).  Defensively, shortstop Tino made a lunging catch of an infield pop-up just behind the mound.  Also, third baseman Mike made a running grab of a smash between third and short, and fired across the diamond to first baseman Rob, who made a sweet back-handed pick of the short-hop, just nabbing NGNL's speedy leadoff hitter (personally, I think the runner beat the throw, but his firstbase coach punched him out, so we'll take it).  Starting pitcher  Aaron Wiggins  (2-6) takes the loss, despite holding NGNL to only one run from the 2nd through the 4th innings.

Notes & Numbers

• Double your pleasure:  The EPs hit 7 doubles in this game.  The last time we hit at least that many two-baggers in a game was on May 30, 2024, when we hit 9 doubles en route to our 28-11 victory over E.coli Happens.  That game saw doubles by Nate, Joe, Rob, Nancy, Caleb, Tino (2), Mike and  Dillon Jones  H.
• Double trouble:  The Empty Pitchers have now hit into 12 double-plays in 2025.  With 3 DPs tonight, that's fully 25% of all of our twin-killings coming in this one game.
• Who's hot?:  Rob has now had hits in 14 of his last 15 at-bats (1b, 2b, 1b, 3b, 1b, 2b, 1b, 3b, E6, SF, SF, 2b, 1b, 2b, 1b, 1b, 2b), going back 5 games.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Eric has now played in 200 career games with the EPs (2nd-most all-time).  Angela has now taken 25 career at-bats as an EP (41st-most all-time).  Eric's 7th-inning double was the 400th base hit of his career (most all-time).  
• Team milestones:  Carlos' 6th-inning double was the 600th plate appearance of the season by an EP.  Our team's 600th at-bat of 2025 was Justin's 7th-inning pop-up to the pitcher.  Tino's double leading off the 4th inning was the EPs' 40th two-bagger of the year.

So here's the situation after the first two rounds of the Cove Cup Tournament:

• No Glove, No Love (2-0) beat E.coli Happens, 20-1; and beat inDRStructible, 20-6.
• DRS (1-1) beat the Empty Pitchers, 10-9; and lost to NGNL, 20-6.
• The EPs (1-1) lost to DRS, 10-9; and beat ECH, 17-11.
• ECH (0-2) lost to NGNL, 20-1; and lost to the EPs, 17-11.

That meant that, with the EPs hosting NGNL in round 3, an EP victory would be good enough for 1st place overall (2-1 record plus a head-to-head win as the tiebreaker)!  This tournament was ours for the taking!

On the plus side, we now had Tino for an entire game.  To the negative, we lost the services of both Nancy and Justin.  With only two female players available, Jocelyn and Erienne would need to alternate hitting in a third slot in the batting order.  Franchise took the ball as the starting pitcher in this contest, and limited the potent NGNL lineup to 3 runs in the top of the 1st.  Facing an immediate hole, the EP offense would need to sizzle.  And while not as flashy as in game 2 (what with those three consecutive booming doubles to open the action), the lineup got the job done here as well.  Eric and Caleb got things jump-started with back-to-back singles, Doc taking third on Caleb's hit.  Rob then drove a ball to left field for a sacrifice fly, scoring Eric and getting the EPs on the board at 3-1.  Jeff followed with an rbi-double that chased Caleb home, and it was 3-2.  And with two outs, Jocelyn knocked a grounder to third that the third baseman fielded, but threw wildly past first for an error that allowed Jeff to come across the plate with the tying run.  3-3 after an inning!

NGNL kept raking in the top of the 2nd, plating four more runs to go back out in front at 7-3.  How demoralizing!  And in the home-half of the inning, the only baserunner the EPs could manage was when Mike's leadoff grounder to short was thrown away for a two-base error.  That was it.

For the top of the 3rd, Fausto (who had injured his leg out in left field in game 2) volunteered to take the mound in relief, and held the NGNL bats somewhat in check, as they added just one run to their total, now taking an 8-3 advantage.  But the EPs answered with one run of their own, basically repeating their 1st-inning strategy.  Eric singled, took third on a single by Caleb, and scored on a sacrifice fly to left by Rob.  Trailing 8-4, we did try to grab a few more runs.  Jeff reached when the second baseman misplayed his ball for an error, putting two on with one out.  Erienne then slapped a would-be single to right-center, but the fielder gloved the ball on a hop and fired to second for the forceout on Jeff.  Another fielder's choice play followed, and so we settled for just the one score.

Neither team did much of anything in the 4th, with the EPs going down in 1-2-3 fashion on three fly balls.

Fausto kept dealing in the top of the 5th, his slow sweepers confounding our opponents, as NGNL suffered a second straight scoreless frame.  Not so for the EPs, though, as Ron led off the inning with a solid single.  Jocelyn singled, before Eric replaced Ron on the bases due to a fielder's choice at third.  With two outs, Rob punched a double into the gap that brought both Jocelyn and Eric across the dish, cutting our deficit to 8-6!  And Jeff kept the line moving with a sharp single to plate Rob, and now it was just a one-run game, at 8-7!  Suddenly, it began to feel like we could really do this!

But that feeling was short-lived, as NGNL woke up and notched a pair of runs in the top of the 6th, extending their lead back out to 10-7.  And worse, all we could muster in the bottom of the inning was a two-out single by Mike.

Our opponents were once again stymied in the top of the 7th -- perhaps the fact that they had, to this point, scored 50 runs this day was catching up to them!  Whatever the reason, it left the door just slightly ajar for an EP comeback in our final at-bats.  Could we do it?  Could we rise to the occasion?  Ron and Erienne certainly made a fine case, as they opened the last-half of the 7th inning with successive singles to set the table for the top of the order.  A groundout by Eric (including a bang-bang play at first) moved the runners up to second and third, and another close-call groundout by Caleb allowed Ron to score, narrowing the gap to 10-8.  But now we were down to our final out!  Luckily, our most clutch player of the day, Rob, ripped a single to bring home Erienne and cut it to 10-9!  When Jeff then lofted a flyball to shallow right-center, all of our hearts dropped . . . but fortune smiled on us, as the ball doinked off the fielder's glove and dropped in for an error.  Rob had been running all the way, and scored on the play to tie it up at 10-10!  Amazing!  Unfortunately, with Jeff now at second, we were unable to get him home and walk it off, so to extra innings we went.  As Michael Kay likes to say, "Bonus cantos!"

After 21 innings of softball on this warm August Saturday, we were still not finished.  NGNL could do nothing against Fausto's pitching in the top of the 8th, so for the second inning in a row, we had a chance to win the tournament with a single run.  Jocelyn led off with her second base hit of the game, and two outs later, Fausto singled her to second base.  But Ron's linedrive up the middle was snagged by the pitcher to end the threat.  The pressure was mounting.

NGNL had scored in only one of their previous 5 innings, and they're too good of a team to hold down forever.  In the top of the 9th, their hits finally began to fall in, as they plated four huge runs, to capture a 14-10 lead.  Rob came in to pitch and got the final out.  Did the EPs, hot and tired, have yet another rally left in them?  With one out, Eric drove a fly to right that clanked into and out of the fielder's glove for an error, Doc advancing to second on the play.  Caleb then flew out to left-center, but it was plenty deep enough for Eric to tag and move to third.  Again, we were down to our final out.  And again, Rob came through, this time with an rbi-double to get us a step closer, at 14-11.  But that's all we had left in the tank, folks.  Exhausted by 23 innings of competition, the EPs fell, 14-11, dropping to third place in the tournament.

The final Cove Cup Tournament standings:  NGNL (3-0);  DRS (2-1);  EPs (1-2);  ECH (0-3).

This loss drops our season record to 5-10.  We are now 2-4 at home, and 3-6 on the road.

The offensive player of the game was Rob, who had a huge game, going 3-for-3 with 2 doubles, 2 sacrifice flies, 2 runs scored, and a whopping 6 rbi!  The defensive play of the game was made by right-centerfielder Jeff, who, in the top of the 6th inning, raced back and towards right field and made a terrific back-handed, full sprint catch of a deep drive.  It was so awesome that the runner from second base had rounded third and gone most of the way home, before having to retreat all the way back to second.  (Unfortunately, the drive was so deep that the runner still had time to tag up and score from second.  🙃)  Fausto (0-1) takes the pitching loss in his EP mound debut, but deserved better after holding NGNL to only 3 runs over his first 6 innings of work.  He struck out one.

Notes & Numbers

• Tournament MVP:  Rob absolutely dominated on Saturday, going a combined 10-for-11 (.909), with 4 doubles, 2 triples, 2 sacrifice flies, 7 runs scored, and 15 rbi.  And as if that weren't enough, he pitched our only win of the day, striking out three in a complete game.  Move over, Shohei Ohtani!
• Who's hot?:  Eric has now scored 10 times in his last 13 plate appearances.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Jeff's 1st-inning double was the 25th two-bagger of his EP career (9th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Rob picked up the 150th rbi of the season for the EPs with his 7th-inning single.  Rob's 9th-inning double included our team's 350th total base of the year.

Following our game 1 loss at the hands of inDRStructible, 10-9, the Empty Pitchers could be forgiven for feeling a bit down.  We had fought hard, and still fell short.  But there were two more games to play this beautiful Cove Cup Saturday, so after a minimal break, we got right back to work.  We were to face E.coli Happens next, who had just been crushed, 20-1, by NGNL in their first game.  The EPs had faced E.coli three times already this season, winning the first two matches rather easily (19-8 on May 15; and 15-6 on June 5) before dropping the third game (13-11 on July 17) when our opponents stormed back from an 11-3 deficit with 10 unanswered runs over the final 3 innings.  Hopefully, that last game was just an anomaly we could put behind us.

Playing as the home team in today's contest, Rob volunteered to try his hand, er, arm at pitching, making his season debut on the bump.  E.coli came out strong, though, plating a pair of runs in the top of the 1st to put the EPs in a quick 2-0 hole.  Well, not a problem.  Not even a little.  Facing E.coli pitcher Sara (usual hurler Barb took the middle game off today) Eric opened the action in the bottom of the frame with a leadoff double to left-center.  Caleb then pressed the "repeat" button, doubling to left-center to score Doc, and our deficit was cut in half at 2-1.  Wait, rewind and do that again -- Rob stroked a double to left-center, bringing Caleb home, and three batters in, the game was tied, 2-2!  Wow!  Do I hear four straight doubles?  Not quite, but Jeff ripped a base hit to right for a single, and Rob came in to give the EPs a lead we would never relinquish!  Jocelyn pushed Jeff to second with a single of her own, but the next three hitters were retired to end our rally there.  Still, we had the lead, 3-2, after one.

E.coli were retired without issue in the top of the 2nd, but in the home-half, the EPs kept the lumber singing.  With one out, Nancy and Justin made their family proud with back-to-back singles.  And after Eric replaced Nancy on the basepaths due to a fielder's choice, Caleb singled Justin home to make it 4-2.  Even better, the ball skipped past the right-centerfielder for an error, allowing Eric to score as well, and Caleb to advance all the way to third.  5-2!  Caleb then touched the plate on a single by Rob, and it was now 6-2 EPs!  Jeff followed with a single, but we failed to add any more runs that inning.

It was not going to be a blowout, however.  Our opponents put together a 3-run outburst in the top of the 3rd, making it just a one-run ballgame at 6-5.  We got one back in the bottom of the 3rd when Mike led off with a double to center, moved to third on Fausto's single, then scored on Erienne's fielder's choice grounder.  Ron singled to put two runners on, but a couple more groundouts ended any further threat.

Now up 7-5, Rob's pitching and the EP defense again shut down the E.coli lineup in the top of the 4th.  In the last-half of the frame, though, we gained some breathing room thanks to some fine hitting -- consecutive singles by Eric and Caleb, followed by consecutive triples by Rob and Jeff.  Rob's three-bagger drove in two to make it 9-5, Jeff's plating Rob to get us into double-digits at 10-5!  Jeff then trotted home on Bubbles' groundout to short, and it was 11-5!  Yes, it was beginning to feel like a blowout again!

But not so fast.  Hold your horses.  Slow your roll.  In the top of the 5th, E.coli Happens enjoyed their best inning of the game, striking for four runs and closing the gap to only 11-9.  Uh-oh.  We've still got a game to play . . . or do we?  'Cause the EPs just shrugged and responded in a big way!  Erienne led off the bottom of the 5th with a single, and two outs later, Justin singled to put two runners on.  By then, Tino had arrived, and made his first at-bat of the day count with a sharp single to left that scored Nancy;  but the ball was misplayed by the leftfielder for an error, allowing Justin to also cross the plate and Tino to rumble over to third.  13-9!  Tino scored on a single by Doc (14-9), and then Eric came all the way around on a booming rbi-triple by Caleb (15-9)!  But we weren't done yet!  Caleb scored when Rob's grounder to short was flubbed for an error, inflating our lead to 16-9!  Jeff and Jocelyn came through with back-to-back singles, Bubbles' drive scoring Rob and completing our 6-run explosion, and extending the EP advantage to 17-9!  Sweet!

It was all pretty academic from there.  E.coli squeezed out single runs in the 6th and 7th, but never truly threatened.  The EPs got singles from Fausto and Erienne in the bottom of the 6th, but failed to tack on any insurance runs.  And so, the EPs took game 2 of the tourney 17-11 over E.coli Happens, improving to 1-1 on the day, and preserving their chances to finish in first place overall!

The victory also improves our 2025 record to 5-9.  We are now 2-3 at home, 3-6 on the road.

It was a close call, but the offensive player of the game was Caleb, who went 4-for-4 with a double, triple, 4 runs scored and 3 rbi.  He narrowly edges out Rob, who was 3-for-4 with a double, triple, 3 runs scored and 4 rbi.  Also of note were Eric (3-for-4 with a double, 4 runs scored and an rbi) and Jeff (4-for-4 with a triple, run scored and 2 rbi).  The defensive play of the game was made by shortstop Tino, who at one point dove to his left to spear a grounder up the middle, then desperately crawled on hands and knees toward the second base bag, ultimately slapping the bag with the ball in his right hand just before the runner from first arrived, getting the forceout.  Pitcher Rob made the first start of his career, tossing a complete game win (1-0), while striking out 3.

Notes & Numbers

• Something new:  The EPs began this game with consecutive doubles by Eric, Caleb and Rob.  That's the first time we have ever had three doubles to open the 1st inning of a game.  The closest we've come to accomplishing the feat would be in our second Cove Cup game two years ago (08/05/23) versus this very same E.coli Happens team, when Eric tripled, Nate tripled, and Joe doubled to lead off the 1st.  We won that game 13-10.  Also, way back on 06/18/15, Eric popped out to short to open the top of the 1st, but then Alan, Demetrio and Rob all doubled consecutively in our 12-4 win over Acid Reign.
• Going the extra mile:  The 7 extra-base hits we got in this game (4 doubles, 3 triples) mark the most XBH by the EPs in a game since game #2, versus the Line Drivers back on May 1, 2025.  In that game, we pummelled out 11 XBH (6 doubles, 2 triples and 3 homers) in our 26-14 victory.
• Contributing:  Every EP in the lineup had a hit in this game, as we went a collective 26-for-45, for a team batting average of .578.  That's our strongest offensive showing since that game #2 win over the Line Drivers, when we hit 33-for-52, or .635.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Jeff has now played in 75 career games (15th-most all-time).  Nancy's 2nd-inning single was her 250th career at-bat (13th-most all-time).  Rob doubled for the 75th time in his career in the 1st inning (most all-time).  Jeff tripled for the 10th time in his career in the 4th inning (10th-most all-time).  Jeff's 1st-inning single drove in his 100th career rbi (10th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  When Justin ground out to the pitcher to end the 3rd inning, it was the 500th plate appearance of the season for the EPs.  Jocelyn's groundout to short in the 4th inning was the 500th at-bat taken by an EP this season.  Caleb scored our 150th run of the year in the 2nd inning.  Fausto's single to open the 6th inning was the EP's 250th base hit of 2025.  Eric led off the game with our team's 30th double of the season.  When Rob reached on an error by the E.coli shortstop in the 5th inning, it was the 30th time an EP has reached base via an error this year.  When Ron bounced into a fielder's choice in the 6th inning, it was the 50th time this season that an EP has hit into a fielder's choice.  Caleb picked up our 300th total base as part of his 1st-inning double.

[Editor's note:  Here begins the long and sordid tale of the adventures of the Empty Pitchers in the 2025 Cove Cup Tournament.  As has been tradition (but mostly to expedite the process), these will be no-frills retellings of the procedings, bereft of the usual window-dressings.  No comedy parodies, no band discographies, no hidden song lyrics.  Just the honest truth, or at least as much truth as I can glean from the scorebook and my imperfect memories of the events.]

On the morning of Saturday, August 2, the Empty Pitchers gathered at Cove Park/DMV in Wethersfield, along with the members of inDRStuctible, E.coli Happens, and No Glove No Love, to once again engage in the grueling softball odyssey that is known as the Cove Cup Tournament.  Four teams, playing three games each, two fields of battle, and one winning team that gets to inscribe their name upon the silver chalice that is the Cove Cup, hang onto the trophy for the ensuing year, and (hopefully) return it next summer to do this all over again.

While this is typically a hot, hazy and humid affair, this year's tourney featured sunny, cloudless skies and pleasantly dry, mid-80s temperatures.  Absolute weather perfection!  And to make matters even better, the Empty Pitchers drew the #1 seed, meaning we got to choose our field of play for each game.  Naturally, we chose to play on the cove-side of the park (as opposed to the State Street side), so as to enjoy the flatter, less tree-surrounded field, and not have to deal with homerun balls going out into traffic, or pedestrians on the sidewalk.  And we got to remain there for all three games, allowing us to avoid the tedious moving-of-the-team-equipment between each contest.  Nice.

inDRStructible had drawn the #2 seed, so we would play them first.  We lost the coin toss for choosing to be the home team, so DRS would host the EPs for game 1.

The Empty Pitchers wasted no time getting on the scoreboard, as Eric and Caleb both singled to lead off the top of the 1st inning against DRS starting pitcher Hector, and Rob promptly doubled them in to put us up 2-0 in a flash.  One out later, Nancy reached when her grounder to short was fielded cleanly, but the throw blew past the first baseman for an E6, with Nancy taking second and Rob trotting home with our third run of the frame.  Thanks to a pair of line-drives by Mike and Erienne (to third and second bases, respectively), we failed to get Nancy across the plate, however.  Franchise took the mound to start for the EPs in the bottom of the 1st, and DRS could only manage a single run.

Leading 3-1 going to the 2nd, the EPs sputtered a bit, as all we could get was a two-out single by Ron.  Meanwhile, DRS again put one lone run on the board in the 2nd, closing the gap to 3-2.  It might have been worse, but right-centerfielder Jeff ended the inning with a tough catch, preserving our lead.

With one down in the top of the 3rd, Caleb blasted a monster homerun to left-center (1st season, 14th career), extending the EP advantage to 4-2.  Rob and Jeff followed with back-to-back singles, but a tailor-made 5-5-3 double-play grounder snuffed out any rally we may have had brewing.  Unfortunately, the DRS bats came to life in the home-half of the inning, as they scored 3 times to take their first lead of the day, at 5-4.

Despite Mike's leadoff single in the top of the 4th, we could not respond, as the next three hitters went down in order.  And DRS added a run in the bottom of the 4th, going up 6-4.  Uh-oh.  Is this where the EPs fold and just half-heartedly play out the remaining innings?

Never!  With one out in the top of the 5th, Justin took first when he grounded to short, but the first baseman couldn't handle the throw from the shortstop for a crutial E3.  Why crutial?  Because Eric then singled.  And then Caleb singled, loading the bags for Rob, who demolished a pitch into leftfield for a bases-clearing, 3-run triple that catapulted the EPs back into the lead at 7-6!  Jeff's single to right pushed Rob across the dish, and it was now 8-6 EPs!  Mike singled with two outs to get Jeff to second, but that's where our big comeback fizzled.  What's more, the EP defense was solid in the bottom of the 5th, holding DRS scoreless for the first time all game.  Things were looking good again!

Not so much in the 6th, though.  The EP bats went down in 1-2-3 fashion in the top of the frame, and then DRS exploded for a four-spot, leapfrogging the EPs to retake the lead at 10-8.  Ugh.

So, looking for another rally in the top of the 7th, Justin came through with a clutch leadoff single over the second baseman's head to start the comeback attempt.  A pair of deep flyouts to left-centerfield left us down to our final out, but Rob's single kept our hopes alive.  Jeff then ripped a base hit to right, allowing Justin to score, and when Rob made the turn at second and took third, Jeff was able to sneak in to second on the throw.  10-9!  The tying run was on third!  The go-ahead run was in scoring position!  But a routine groundout to short ended things, and the EPs had begun the tourney with an L.  A valiant effort, EPs.  So close.

The loss drops us to 0-1 in the tournament, and 4-9 for the 2025 season.  We are now 1-3 at home, and 3-6 as the visiting team.

The offensive player of the game was Rob, who went 4-for-4 with a double, triple, 2 runs scored and 5 rbi.  An honorary mention goes out to Caleb, who went 3-for-4 with a homerun, 3 runs scored and an rbi.  Jeff's run-saving catch in the bottom of the 2nd inning was the defensive play of the game.  Ron pitched a complete game, striking out 1 batter, and takes the loss to fall to 2-5 on the season.

Notes & Numbers

• Almost . . . :  Our last 1-run loss came on opening day, April 24, 2025, when we fell 17-16 to Acid Reign at Colt Park.  Our last 1-run loss to inDRStructible came on May 5, 2022, when we fell 16-15 on the Cigna campus fields.  [Side note: our three female players that day were Jenny, Gerry and Caren, none of whom have played in quite some time.]
• Who's hot?:  Rob now has hits in 5 consecutive at-bats (1b, 2b, 1b, 3b, 1b).
• Milestones (since 2015):  This was Ron's 20th career complete game pitched, which is second all-time only to the 57 thrown by Chris.  Also, this was the 30th career pitching loss suffered by Franchise, which is second all-time to Chris' 67 losses.
• Team milestones:  Ron's 2nd-inning single was the 450th plate appearance by an EP this season.  Jeff's 3rd-inning single was the 450th at-bat by an EP this season.  Jeff's single in the 7th inning was our team's 225th base hit of the year.  The EP's 125th rbi of the season was picked up by Rob as part of his 5th-inning triple.

Due to the ongoing threat of severe thunderstorms featuring heavy rain and potential flooding, tonight's softball game versus the Fighting Plankton has been cancelled.  

The management wishes to apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.  There will be no refunds for parking.

[Editor's note:  While I was never a big fan of Ozzy Osbourne or Black Sabbath, I certainly recognize his influence on the music world.  With his death this past week at 76, here's a little tribute to the discography of the self-proclaimed "Prince of Darkness".]

   In the  immortal  words of Charles Dickens, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  Well, on Thursday evening, it was  time  for the Empty Pitchers to travel to Newington High School to  party with the animals  from Caught Lookin', and  I just want you  to know that from the start, it was a game of contradictions:  

⦁ For starters, the EPs have played on the campus of the Newington Nor'easters several times over the past seasons, BUT always on the far field with the locked cement-block dugouts ( I don't know  why they lock the gates).  This was our very first time playing on the field next to the tennis courts.   

⦁ We were looking a bit thin roster-wise for this game, so Joe invited a friend, Kris, to don the green for the night and help us out.  BUT, he was forced to cancel last-minute, so in the end, we  never  met him.  

⦁ We also invited Connie, who had helped out two weeks earlier when the EPs assisted the short-handed Bisons versus this same Caught Lookin' team.  And she did, indeed, play with the EPs tonight, BUT there was also the  revelation  that she had already agreed to play regularly with the Bisons, so we may only see her on rare occasions going forward.  

⦁ Caught Lookin' manager Karolina spoke before the game about her  desire  to use the batch of brand-new Worth softballs she had just purchased, BUT they were not the Gold Dot softballs we typically use.  They predictably became the equivalent of a ball of wet socks after only a batter or two.  We ended up using her ball for the first two innings, then switched to one of our own Gold Dots.

⦁ Finally, the EPs came out on  fire  and looked pretty good early on, clinging to a slim 4-3 lead midway through the 3rd inning.  BUT, . . . well, I'm getting ahead of myself here.  Let's just get to the game.

Eric (who has been an  iron man  this season, attending every game so far) led off the festivities with a single in the top of the 1st, and was immediately replaced on the basepaths thanks to a fielder's choice grounder to third by Nate.  Joe ripped a single, and when Nate rounded second and motored to third, Joe took advantage of the throw to third and took second.  Rob's drive to left field was plenty deep enough for Nate to tag and score on the sacrifice fly, and just like that, the EPs had drawn first blood at 1-0.  Caleb followed with a  fearless  double (our only extra-base hit of the contest), knocking Joe home to make it 2-0 EPs after a half-inning!

But Caught Lookin' was  not going away  that easily, as they responded with a pair of runs in the home-half of the frame to tie it up at 2-2.

 For what it's worth , Fausto crushed a grounder right at the shortstop to open the 2nd, hard enough to cause a bobble and misplay for an error.  Tino then singled to put runners at first and second with nobody out and Mike due up.  He hit a grounder to third and beat the throw to first for a hit, and when the throw sailed past the first baseman for an error, Fausto was able to trot home to give us the lead once again, at 3-2.  Tino took third on the play, and one out later, he came home thanks to a sacrifice fly to left by Eric, increasing our advantage to 4-2.  We were  flying high again !  Nate also singled in the inning, but we failed to push any more runs across.

 God only knows  how our opponents managed to squeeze one run over the plate in the bottom of the 2nd, closing the gap to 4-3.

It was at this point that we switched to the harder ball, and  you know . . .  , things kinda went downhill from there.  The hardness of the ball  changes  everything, I guess.  The EP bats went silent in the top of the 3rd, all three hitters going down in order.  

Meanwhile, Caught Lookin' woke up in the last-half of the 3rd.  They pounded out a bunch of hits, and while most of them were little drop shots that fell beyond the infield and in front of the outfield, they count all the same.  When the dust had settled, the  nightmare  had ended, and the Caught Lookin' runners finally disembarked their  crazy train  around the bases, they had put up a half-dozen runs, taking their first lead of the game at 9-4.

The EPs' offensive futility continued in the top of the 4th.  After the first two batters were retired, Mike reached when his grounder to third was booted for an error.  Yaidy then laid a soft bouncer toward third, and the third baseman couldn't make that play either.  The back-to-back E5s put a couple of runners on, but we couldn't continue the, um, "rally".  Another zero on the scoreboard.  

To make matters worse, those  war pigs  from Caught Lookin' continued to rake, dropping another six runs on us and expanding their lead to a dominating 15-4 after 4 innings.  It was beginning to look like it was going to be  one of those days .

Nate tried to spark a little something with a leadoff single in the 5th, and Joe added some kindling when he reached on a fielding error by the second baseman.  Two on, no outs, I was becoming a  believer  that this was our moment!  But consecutive fielder's choice grounders and a liner to short ended the threat, and we were held scoreless for the third straight frame.  Ugh.  It felt like we were on a  road to nowhere .  (To be fair though, Rob's fielder's choice was one of the more unconventional plays I'll see  in my life .  With men at first and second, he lined a would-be single into left field; the fielder came on, missed the ball with his glove, but inadvertently kicked the ball right to the shortstop's glove, who spun and fired to third base for the forceout.  Again, ugh.  🙄)  

On the plus side, Caught Lookin' only scored  one more time  in the bottom of the 5th, so we went to the 6th down 16-4.  Hooray?

After three straight shutout innings, the EPs finally showed that we were still  alive  in the 6th,  when Fausto led off with a solid single.  Tino singled as well, but when Fausto made the turn at second and attempted to get to third on the play, he was caught in a rundown and tagged for the first out.  Mike's lined single into center moved Tino to second, before our little  hellraiser  Yaidy bounced one right back to the pitcher, who threw to second for the forceout.  The second baseman got greedy, however, and tried to turn the double-play.  Instead, he threw the ball past the first baseman for the sixth error of the game for Caught Lookin', allowing Tino to say, "Mama, I'm coming home" from third and touch the dish, making it 16-5.  But we were  running out of time  for a rally.

Perhaps getting  so tired  of having rounded the bases  time after time , our opponents failed to score in the bottom of the 6th, the first time all game that they were unable push a run across.

Alright, time for a huge comeback!  Or am I just in  denial  here?  In our final at-bats, all we could muster was a lone two-out single by Rob, the game ending on a short fly to left field.  Our hopes for a win were  dead and gone .

In the end, we lost the game.  Bummer.  BUT, we did get to spend a beautiful summer evening playing softball with good friends on an immaculate field, so maybe not all contradictions are bad.   Good times .  Also, we got the entire game in before sunset this week, BUT that meant we didn't get an opportunity to take a  shot in the dark  and  bark at the moon .  That's fine, I'm sure we'll be  waiting for darkness  in next week's game.

The 16-5 loss drops our season record to a disappointing 4-8.  We are now 1-3 at home, 3-5 on the road.

Given our weak performance with the bats in this game, there really were no standout  hero  performances, no  miracle man  at the plate.  The offensive player of the game  tonight  was Tino, who went 2-for-3 with 2 runs scored.  Only hitting  junkie  Nate (2-for-4) and Mike (2-for-3) also had multiple base hits in the game.  On the mound, Doc takes the loss, falling to 2-4 despite pitching the complete game.  The defensive play of the game was catcher Yaidy's grab of a pop-up in foul territory behind the plate in the 3rd inning.

Notes & Numbers

• Getting a little help from our friends:  Caught Lookin's infield defense was porous at best in this game, committing 6 errors.  Those fumbles directly led to two of our runs scored.  This broke the season-record of 5 errors committed by E.coli Happens in our 19-8 win back on May, 15.
• Streaking, and not in a good way:  I don't think I'm being  paranoid  here by pointing out that the EPs have now lost four consecutive games.  That matches our longest losing streak since we dropped six consecutive games way back in 2017:  30-7 to Datapay Payroll; 15-9 to E.coli Happens; 11-6 to the Bisons; 10-9 to the NBBA Master Batters; 24-22 to The Dream Team; and 33-3 to the Capital Stars.   Nothing feels right  when you're losing, so let's just hope that  today is the end  of our latest string of defeats.
• Who's hot?:  Since his return from his self-imposed hiatus from the team, Tino has gone 8-for-10 (2b, L6, 2b, 1b, SF8, 1b, 1b, 1b, 1b, Fo5, 1b) in 11 plate appearances over our last 4 games.  True, we've lost all 4 games, but Tino at least can say, " Don't blame me ".
• Milestones (since 2015):  Rob picked up his 275th career rbi with his sac fly in the 1st inning (most all-time).  Caleb picked up his 125th career rbi with his double in the 1st inning (8th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Joe's 1st-inning single was our 200th team hit of the season.  When  ordinary man  Mike reached on an E5 in the 4th inning, it was the 25th time this year that an EP has gotten on via an error.

 Goodbye , and  see you on the other side .   I love you all !

[Editor's note:  Read just the highlighted text for the lyrics to John Fogerty's 1985 hit, Centerfield.]

Well, &#@%!

On Thursday evening, the EPs travelled once more to Bloomfield for yet another rematch with E.coli Happens.  The Empty Pitchers beat the boys and girls from Bloomfield like a Cherokee drum in our first meeting, 19-8, back on May 15th.  And then, just three weeks later -- hold the phone! -- we took the second game, 15-6, on June 5th.  So we were feeling pretty confident coming into this third battle!  Well, as confident as one can feel coming off of losses to the Fighting Plankton and The Dream Team, followed by a rainout and a bye week.  But still . . . 

As sure as the knowledge that the sun came out today, the game got started late due to our opponents' typical lack of players, and we probably should have just called for the forfeit.  But let's face it, a forfeit win feels so empty.  We come out to play ball.  So we waited.  And waited.  Eventually, E.coli could field nine players, and requested that the EPs provide them with a catcher.  We could have said no and forced them to play with just three outfielders, but we're good sports, like true born again Christians, so catch for them we did. 

And once things finally got underway after 6:30pm, the EPs hitters came out as hot as the 95-degree weather.  There's nothing new about the way we began the game, as Eric, Nate and Joe led off the action with three consecutive singles into the outfield grass, Joe's driving home Doc with the game's first run, and chasing Nate to third.  Nate scored on Jocelyn's groundout to short, to make it 2-0.  Tino, Mike and Nancy followed with back-to-back-to-back singles, Tino's driving in Joe, Mike's a liner into the field in right-center, and Nancy's sending Tino a-roundin' third and headed for home, and just like that, the EPs were up, 4-0 after a half-inning.

It's a shame, but E.coli Happens managed to squeeze out a lone run in the bottom of the 1st off of starter Franchise to close the gap to 4-1.

The top of the 2nd saw brown-eyed Eric come to the plate with two outs and nobody on, but it's never too late for a rally, right?  He and Nate stroked handsome singles past the infielders, setting the stage for Joe, who tripled into rightfield to score 'em both and increase the EP lead to 6-1.  Man, that was sweet, anyone would agree!  Joe trotted home on Bubbles' lined-single over the shortstop, and it was 7-1.  I can understand if the whole E.coli team was beginning to feel way discouraged.  Tino also singled in the inning, but we failed to do any further damage.  I feel like we should have, though.

Oh, our opponents tried to make a game of it, as they put a pair of runs on the board in the home-half of the 2nd, slicing their deficit to 7-3.  That made me a little nervous, like a person who hates flying on planes squeezed between two crying children in coach.  Yikes!

I'm ready to relate more softball action, but at this point, both teams seemingly decided not to play, and took the 3rd inning off, with both of today's lineups going down in order, so the score held at 7-3.

The EPs got back to business in the 4th, when Fausto said, "Put me in, Coach," led off, and reached first when the shortstop booted his hard grounder for an error.  I'm sure it wasn't personal when Yaidy replaced Fausto on the basepaths thanks to her fielder's choice grounder to short.  She then went station-to-station around the bags on singles by Eric and Nate to load 'em up for Joe.  He was ready for the moment, too, and knocked in Yaidy and Eric with a single to left, making it 9-3.  One out later, Tino put one into play for a base hit (his third hit today) that brought home Nate.  Then I had a "look at me" moment I can be proud of, singling up the middle and into centerfield to score Joe, and the EP's were now officially running away with this game, 11-3.  Well, could it get any better?  I think not!

E.coli may have felt a bit spent in this heat, but they scraped together one run at some time in their half of the 4th to cut it to 11-4, and the EPs were riding high.  There was still joy in Mudville, but could it last through seven innings, or even eight or nine, if the daylight held?

With E.coli manager Richie watching it from the bench, Ron opened the top of the 5th with a single, and you know Franchise enjoyed that!  I took it for granted that we were starting another big rally, ready to score some more runs.  Unfortunately, Ron was immediately erased on a double play, as the EP offense was held as inert as lumps of clay.

When the bottom of the 5th began, E.coli stormed back with the prowess of the mighty Casey, due in large part to their hitting, but even more so due to numerous errors by the EP gloves.  Defensively, we struck out, so badly.  I mean, we dropped a couple of catchable balls in the outfield, fumbled a popup, threw balls away at first and at second, etc.  We'd like to be able to say, "Hey, shake it off," but by the time the third out was recorded, five huge runs had crossed the dish, and the blowout had suddenly become an 11-9 nailbiter.  We were certainly not displaying the glovework of a Willie Mays, could you tell?  Or a Brooks Robinson.  Ty Cobb would be embarrassed.  As well as Ozzie Smith.  And Joe DiMaggio, too.

By now, the sun had disappeared under the horizon, and twilight was fast encroaching.  Don't fret, though.  In the interest of expediting the game, the teams agreed to, say, "flip" the 6th and final inning, with E.coli batting in the top of the frame, and (if necessary) the EPs in the bottom.  And if it ain't necessary, all the better -- it would mean the EPs had won, so it's all good. 

But you know it wasn't going to be that easy.  In the top of the 6th, E.coli had a great time, as they began blasting deep drives, and scored four times to go from down two runs to up two runs, at 13-11, taking their first lead of the game.  Is now the moment to get worried?  I'll [refrain] from panicking just yet.

So the Empty Pitchers headed to their final ups in the bottom of the 6th, trailing by a pair of runs.  You've got to know we had a strong chance to beat up E.coli here in the growing darkness, and grab the walk-off victory.  We'd be fine, right?  Right?!  But the E.coli shortstop got a glove on Yaidy's leadoff grounder and threw her out at first.  Okay, that's fine.  We still had the top of the order due up -- that's the recipe for a homemade comeback win!  Eric swung his bat and drove a liner into right-center, my nerves as tight as a brand new pair of shoes.  You know it was deflating when the right-centerfielder raced over and made the catch for out number two.  Down to our final out, I think it's time to get worried.  Nate laced a ball to right, and used his speed to stretch it into a double.  Whew!  We still have life!  And now Joe was up.  Time to give this game a ride, maybe just a smash over the right fielder's head for a game-tying two-run homer!  But it was not to be.  Not this time.  A groundout to short and that was it.  No further runs.  Game over, 13-11.  [sigh]

The loss drops our season record to a disappointing 4-7.  We are now 1-3 at home, 3-4 on the road.

The best offensive player to hit the ball this evening was Joe, who went 3-for-4 with a triple, 3 runs scored and 5 rbi.  Also getting in touch with their hitting sides were Eric (3-for-4 with 3 runs scored); Nate (4-for-4 with a double and 3 runs scored); and Tino (3-for-3 with a run scored and 2 rbi).  Defensively, Ron (2-4) pitched a complete game against E.coli, striking out one of 'em.

Notes & Numbers

• All top-heavy:  The first three hitters in the EP lineup (Eric, Nate and Joe) had a moment in the sun as they went a combined 9-for-9 with 9 runs scored through their first three at-bats of this game.  It's been a while since the last time that happened -- on May 25, 2023, also versus E.coli Happens -- and we've gone 52 games since.  In that game, Nate, Eric and Joe (in that order) were a combined 12-for-12 with 12 runs scored, and you know we crushed our opponents, 27-9.
• That blows:  By the middle of the 4th inning tonight, the Empty Pitchers enjoyed an 8-run lead, at 11-3, but ultimately lost the game.  You can probably tell where this is going -- that ties the largest lead we have blown this season.  On opening day, April 24th, the EPs held a 13-5 lead midway through the 4th inning, but eventually lost to Acid Reign, 17-16, in that one.
• No more Mr. Nice Team  😡:  I really didn't want to whine about this, but I feel the need to vent.  What truly made this loss so frustrating was the fact that:
  • The EPs waited more than half an hour for E.coli to have enough players to begin the game.
  • E.coli had three female players in their lineup, while the EPs, as per our "everybody plays" policy, played four.  They had nine players in their lineup, while we batted eleven.  That means their best players batted more often.
  • We provided them with a catcher, rather than making them use only three outfielders and catch for themselves.
  • When their third baseman, Sara, was injured and came out of the game, we did not penalize them for playing with only two women.  This meant that their male players got extra at-bats.
  • We then also provided a defensive player (a left-fielder) to take Sara's place in the field.
  • We allowed E.coli to pinch run, from home plate, for their pitcher Barb.
  • When their lone female pinch-runner claimed tiredness in the top of the 6th, we allowed a male to pinch-run for Barb instead.  Of course, they chose their fastest runner, who reached first on what should have been a routine groundout, then came around to score the tying run.
  • After all that, Manager Richie complained that the EPs playing for E.coli weren't trying hard enough!  Perhaps we should have spotted them 10 runs, as well.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Eric has now taken 675 career at-bats (most all-time).  Mike has now taken 650 career at-bats (2nd-most all-time).  Ron has now taken 525 career at-bats (5th-most all-time).  Tino's 2nd-inning single was the 350th hit of his career (3rd-most all-time).  Nate's 2nd-inning single was the 325th hit of his career (5th-most all-time).  Nancy's 1st-inning single was the 75th hit of her career (17th-most all-time).  Joe's 2nd-inning triple was the 25th 3-bagger of his career (3rd-most all-time).  Nate scored for the 250th time in his career in the 2nd inning (2nd-most all-time).
• Team Milestones:  When Jae ground into a double play in the 5th inning, it was the EP's 400th plate appearance of the season.  When Eric flew out to right-centerfield in the 6th inning, it was the 400th at-bat of the year for the EPs.  Joe's 2nd-inning triple included our team's 250th total base of 2025.

That's it.  Goodbye for this week. 

Oh, sorry.  (refrain) (refrain)  Yeah!  😎

Back in March, at the managers' scheduling meeting, I intentionally left a couple of weeks open, in order to accomodate the teams whose managers failed to attend the get-together.  As it later came to our attention that teams such as Throwin' Shade and The Regulators would not be fielding teams this year, I scrambled to fill the gaps with existing teams.  Unfortunately, I was unable to fill July 10, and so the EPs sat idle this week.  Bummer.

In lieu of not playing at all, there were two opportunities to assist our fellow teams:

1. On Wednesday, July 9, Jim Chakulski's inDRStructible team took on the Windsor Fire Department, who were looking to get in some practice before their company picnic softball game against a rival town's fire department.  As such, Jim was looking for roster help from throughout the league.  From the EPs, Mike and Nancy answered the call, helping DRS to a comeback victory at LP Wilson Rec. Center in Windsor.
2. On Thursday, July 10, the Bisons hosted Caught Lookin' at Joseph O. Goodwin Elementary School in East Hartford.  The Bisons were short of players due to summer vacations and injuries, so their manager, Bill, asked the EPs to join them.  Ron, Fausto, Mike and Connie (recruited by Fausto) provided their softball prowess, but in the end, Caught Lookin' prevailed.

Given our rainout on July 3, and our lack of a game on July 10, hopefully the weather will cooperate this coming week and allow the EPs to get back to our regular season!

With today's forecast calling for severe weather, including thunderstorms and possible hail, today's softball game has been called off by the Bisons.  Their manager, Bill, also cited a lack of players, with about 9 expected as of this morning, and at least three of those dropping out as the weather forecast has worsened.  

[Editor's note:  I screwed up the lineup this week, batting not one, but two left-handed hitters immediately after Jocelyn, who has repeatedly requested over the years that I not do that.  Whoops, sorry, Bubbles!  So here's my peace offering -- read only the highlighted words for the lyrics to Richard Marx's 1989 #1 hit song, "Right Here Waiting," which we were discussing prior to the game!]

Whew!  It was a hot week!  Oceans of sweat were pouring off both the Empty Pitchers and The Dream Team on Wednesday afternoon, as even high-90s temperatures and steamy levels of humidity couldn't keep the two teams apart for their rematch.  Day after day, the weather had been brutal, and I wasn't sure we'd be able to play, but as we all slowly gathered at the Bloomfield Recreation Department softball field, I knew we were a go for the game.  I mean, it would be insane to waste this sunny evening and late sunset, right?

I hear what you're saying, "Maybe we shouldn't have played and risked heat-stroke," and your voice matters, but the EPs were on a mission to avenge their 17-14 loss on this same field just five weeks earlier.  And we were willing to put it all on the line to do it.

As the visiting team, the EPs stepped to the plate first, and we've been pretty successful in 1st innings so far this season.  But it doesn't just happen -- we have to earn our runs.  The Dream Team thought they could stop us when they retired two of our first three hitters on flyouts to right-centerfield, sandwiched around a single by Nate.  But Jocelyn and Erienne were clutch as they brought the pain with back-to-back singles to drive Nate home with the game's first run.  And if that were it, I might be a little worried.  But Jeff and Rob said, "We see your pair of singles, and raise you two more."  Each of their hits brought in a run, extending the EP lead to 3-0 after a half-inning.

Unfortunately, The Dream Team is stocked with good hitters, and they answered right back and then some, plating four runs to jump out in front 4-3.

The next inning saw the EPs respond, albeit with a little help from the opposing shortstop.  Following two quick outs in the top of the 2nd, Tino smacked a double to try to spark a rally.  Never let it be said that he can't swing it!  Eric's grounder up the middle was booted by the shortstop for an error, and then Nate pressed the repeat button, as the shortstop fumbled his grounder as well, with Tino coming home to score on the play, tying the game at 4-4.  How can we take advantage of those gift errors?  Well, say, if Joe were to knock a ball into forever, scoring both Doc and Nate for a 2-run double and a 6-4 EP advantage!  Sweet!  Opponents beware -- wherever you go, whatever you do, the Empty Pitchers will relentlessly keep coming after ya!

I will be honest with you, though -- The Dream Team kept coming after us, as well.  In the bottom of the 2nd, they piled up seven huge runs, retaking the lead, 11-6.  I'm sorry, that's not right, man.  Here we were, waiting for them to wilt in the heat, and they sucker-punched us, you know?

Okay, so time for another EP comeback, whatever it takes.  Who would do it in the top of the 3rd?  How about Erienne, who reached first when her bouncer was misplayed by the second baseman for an error?  Or how about Rob, who doubled one out later to put runners at second and third?  My own single into the heart of centerfield drove both of them home, cutting our deficit to 11-8.  Alas, we couldn't score any more that inning.  Them's the breaks, I guess.

EP starting pitcher Eric now imposed his will on TDT, holding them scoreless.  It began to feel as though all would be right with the game, here in the 3rd frame.  And beyond, too, as if the EPs were just waiting to explode for a big inning.

It would only be natural, then, for you to get excited, as Tino opened the top of the 4th with a single.  One out later, I took for granted that Nate would get a hit, and he did, singling Tino to second.  I mean, I can't even count all the times Nate has come through with the bat over the years!  That I thought our rally would last until we scored at least a few runs somehow may have been a tad presumptuous, however.  A groundout moved the runners up to second and third, but we couldn't get 'em home.  Hang a zero for us in the 4th. 

The bottom of the inning didn't work out so well, either.  In the last of the 4th, TDT broke out for three runs, padding their lead to 14-8.  Yeah, I hear the laughter coming from their dugout, and I taste the tears of humiliation as they scored each run.  But I can't accept that the EPs would ever give up fighting!

It would be tough to get near enough runs to come all the way back in one inning, but you know a couple of runs per inning would really help, now.  But, oh no, the EP batters went down in order in the top of the 5th!  1-2-3.  I can't believe it.  You see it too, right?  If we don't hit, we won't win this baby.  You've got to score runs!

The EP pitching and defense did it's part in the botom of the 5th, keeping TDT off the board for the second time this game.  

Still down 14-8, Mike led off the 6th with a single.  Ron knocked a grounder to third, but the throw across to first went right past the first baseman and out of play, so Ron took second, with me goin' to third.  That was the fourth error of the game by TDT.  Crazy, right?  Maybe their infielders should (refrain) from trying to throw us out.  Anyway, one out later, Tino blasted a drive to left-center.  It was caught, but it was plenty deep to allow Mike to tag up and score on the sacrifice fly, getting us to 14-9.  I wonder how many runs we could have scored if the ball had gone over the fielder's head instead of just being a can o' corn.

So TDT managed to survive our attempt at a rally in this 6th inning.  And like the villains in a really bad comedy or romance movie, they continued to twirl their figurative moustaches, tacking on another three runs in the bottom of the frame, this time off relief pitcher Franchise.  That put them comfortably in front, 17-9, with only one inning to go.

Daunting, sure, but the EPs didn't quit.  In the 7th, Nate led off with a single, and Joe followed with a double.  Jocelyn, not ready for the game to end, singled Nate home and chased Joe to third, if I'm reading the scorebook correctly.  With runners at the corners and nobody out, Erienne bounced into a fielder's choice with a grounder to short, and you know Joe was coming in to score on that play, making it 17-11.  Just six runs down, I'll take it.  Jeff was next, and he looped a would-be single into short right-center;  but the left-centerfielder charged in, fielded the ball on a hop, and fired to second for the forceout on Erienne.  Two outs.  The chance of us completing a comeback was fading.  Oh, can't you see it, Rob belting a six-run homer to tie it?  Baby, that would be awesome if it were possible!  He didn't homer, but he did keep the line moving with a single to push Jeff to second.  And now you've got me coming up next, goin' 2-for-3 so far.  But I flew out to left-center to end this crazy game.  Rats.  I'll try to (refrain) from crying this week, but it won't be easy.

The 17-11 loss drops our 2025 record to 4-6.  We are now 1-3 at home, 3-3 on the road.

If you're waiting for the naming of our offensive player of the game, you need wait no longer.  It was Erienne, who went 1-for-5 with 2 runs scored and 2 rbi.  Other hitters of note included Nate (3-for-4 with 3 runs scored), Joe (2-for-4 with 2 doubles, a run scored and 2 rbi), and Mike (2-for-4 with a run scored and 2 rbi).  Defensively, the play of the game came in the bottom of the 3rd inning when, with a runner at first, the TDT batter blooped a ball behind first base.  It fell in for a hit, and the runner advanced to second.  But the runner never looked to see where the ball was, and when the TDT bench yelled, "Go to third!" he thought the ball had gone out of play, and began to slowly stroll toward third base.  First baseman Joe fired the ball to shortstop Tino, who ran the runner toward third, before tossing to third baseman Mike for the easy tag.

Notes & Numbers

• Take ten:  With this contest, we have now played 10 games this 2025 season, to a 4-6 record.  So how does that compare to past seasons?  Here are our yearly records after the first 10 games (and our final records in parentheses): 
  • • 2024: 4-6 (9-14)
    • 2023: 4-6 (8-15)
    • 2022: 7-3 (14-9)
    • 2021: 5-5 (10-14)
    • 2020: 4-6 (7-8)
    • 2019: 3-6-1 (10-12-1)
    • 2018: 3-7 (8-15)
    • 2017: 3-7 (11-13)
    • 2016: 4-6 (12-12)
    • 2015: 3-6-1 (6-12-2)
    • 2014: 1-9 (4-11)
• Milestones (since 2015):  Joe's 2nd-inning double was his 350th career at-bat (8th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Rob's 3rd-inning double was our team's 25th double of the season.  Joe picked up our team's 100th rbi of the year with his 2nd-inning double.

[Editor's note:  It's Travelers Championship Week in Connecticut, and while I personally don't give an Arnold Palmer fart about golf, it seems an appropriate theme for this week's softball game recap.  I've worked in the names of the top-25 finishers in this year's tournament.  Alas, if only the EPs used golf scoring, where the team with fewer runs wins . . . we'd be awesome,  Davis Thompson !]

 Great  Scottie Scheffler !  Wake the kids!  Call your neighbors!  Our archrivals are coming!

The Fighting Plankton From Hell invaded Cove Park/DMV this week.  They've long been our closest talent-match in the league, as we had gone 12-10 all-time against them coming into the game, and we could clearly expect another tough-fought battle on Thursday evening.  But the Empty Pitchers were coming off a  Wyndham Clark  in each of their last two softball games, and were looking to extend the streak!

Under hot, humid conditions, with the threat of thunderstorms looming all  Jason Day , the Plankton wasted no time getting to pitcher Eric and the EP defense.  They struck immediately, and were able to  Russell Henley  up five big runs in the top of the 1st, including a long 3-run homerun.  Whatever.  No problem.  There was still plenty of game left for an EP comeback.  Unfortunately,  Ben Griffin  the bottom of the frame, the only batter to reach base was Rob, whose grounder to third was fielded cleanly into the  Lucas Glover  of the defender, but the first baseman dropped the ensuing throw for an error.  No hits, no runs for the EPs.  Nuts.

The Plankton were kept off the scoreboard in the top of the 2nd, and the EPs gladly took the opportunity to respond, albeit with a bit of help from our opponents.  Nancy led off with a grounder that the shortstop threw away for an error, advancing to second on the overthrow.  One out later, Mike did the same, grounding to third and taking second when the throw sailed past the first baseman.  Nancy scored on the play, getting the still-hitless EPs off the schneid at 5-1.  Thanks, Plankton!  Erienne then blooped a ball between the pitcher and first baseman with just enough  Harris English  on it to reach with an infield single, before Tino mashed a double into the gap, plating Mike with our second run.  Ron followed with a single that drove E home, and it was 5-3.  An around-the-horn 5-4-3 double play killed the rally at that point, but at least we had made it a close game.  Staying in striking distance would be  Keegan Bradley .  [See what I did there?  IRL, Bradley stayed in striking distance all tournament long, and won the Travelers with his final putt over Fleetwood.]

Did I  Bud Cauley  this a close game?  Because the Plankton erupted for another 5-run inning in the top of the 3rd, including another 3-run dinger, this one to right field.  [Sigh]  10-3 Plankton.  Okay, back to work.  The first two EPs were retired in the home-half of the inning, but then Eric singled, and Nate blasted a fly to right that ticked off the fielder's glove and kept on going.  Doc and Nate kept on going, as well, showing just how  Tommy Fleetwood  of foot they are!  Both runners came all the way around to score on Nate's 2-run homerun (1st season, 9th career), cutting our deficit to 10-5.  Hear the crowd  Rory McIlroy !  Rob followed with a booming triple, but we were unable to get him in.  Phooey!

Both teams traded zeroes in the 4th inning, although Fausto had a single for the EPs and was stranded.   Brian Harman , we could use a couple o' hits!

The Plankton squeezed out  Justin Thomas  a single run in the top of the 5th, increasing their lead to 11-5, but the door was still open for an epic comeback, if the EPs could  Harry Hall  the Plankton pitcher for a few more runs right here.  But the EPs demurred, quietly going down in order in the bottom of the frame.   Kevin Yu  gotta be kidding me.

The score continued to hold at 11-5, as neither team was able to break through in the 6th inning.  Franchise came on to pitch in relief and, sly as a  Ryan Fox , blanked the Plankton.  Caleb led off the last of the 6th with a triple, but the next three EP batters were tragically retired on a short groundout and a pair of pop-ups.  Ugh.  Too bad we  Patrick Cantlay  down a squeeze bunt in this league.

To the final inning, where the Plankton tacked on one final insurance  Aaron Rai  to go up 12-5.  Would the EPs mount a last-ditch comeback,  Nick Taylor  would they fold and accept the loss?  Nancy lined a two-out single over second base, but that failed to  J.J. Spaun  a rally of any kind.  All in all, a weak offensive showing by the home team, and a 12-5 final score.  Boy, it really  Sam Burns  me to lose to the Plankton!  Time to go cry in my  Denny McCarthy .   Byeong Hun An  for this week!

The loss drops our 2025 record to 4-5.  We are a disappointing 1-3 at home, but an encouraging 3-2 on the road.

There was little to celebrate offensively this  Robert MacIntyre  game, as not one EP hitter had multiple hits on the day.  Still, the player of the game was Nate, who went 1-for-3 with a homerun, run scored and 2 rbi.   Maverick McNealy  before him!  Pitching-wise, Eric takes the loss, falling to 2-2 for the season.

Notes & Numbers

• Weak sauce:  The EPs went 9-for-32 on Thursday, for a team batting average of only .281.  That represents our worst team BA of the season, including that 2-0 loss to DRS.  The last time we hit even worse?  Our 4-for-28 (.143) showing in our 14-1 loss to The Dream Team on 06/12/24.
• Three is a magic number:  On Thursday, Caleb tripled for the third consecutive game.  The last EP to accomplish this feat was Joe, who tripled in our 23-13 loss to inDRStructible on 07/11/24;  in our 15-6 win over Caught Lookin' on 07/18/24; and in our 19-3 win over the Line Drivers on 07/24/24.
• Left behind:  Don't you hate it when you're the on-deck hitter when the ballgame ends?  You feel cheated out of an at-bat!  Here's who's been shorted an AB that way, and left standing on the  Matt Fitzpatrick  so far this season:  Nancy (games 1, 2); Dax (game 3); Jocelyn (game 4); Mike (games 5, 6, 9); Ron (game 7); Eric (game 8).  
• Apparently, we need more Yoda!:  I got to thinking, the EPs are now 4-5 as a team so far in 2025, but not everybody has played in every game.  So here is a list of every EP to appear in a game this season, and our record when they are in the lineup:  Jocelyn (4-4); Jonathan (2-1); Dax (0-1); Angela (0-3); Tino (1-3); Caleb (4-4); Justin (0-1); Carlos (0-1); Rob (3-4); Ron (3-5); Josh (0-1); Eric (4-5); Jaden (1-0); Jae (4-3); Erienne (2-2); Jeff (2-2); Mike (4-5); Fausto (2-3); Yaidy (1-0); Nate (3-4); Joe (4-4); Nancy (3-3).
• Milestones (since 2015):  Tino's 2nd-inning double was the 50th 2-bagger of his career (6th-most all-time).  Mike scored his 200th career run in the 2nd inning (5th-most all-time).  Tino picked up his 250th career rbi in the 2nd inning (2nd-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Jeff's flyout in the 1st inning was our team's 300th plate appearance of the season.  Fausto's groundout in the 2nd inning was our team's 300th at-bat of 2025.  Caleb's 6th-inning triple was the 10th 3-bagger of the year for the EPs.

[Editor's note:  In case you missed our last episode, this an Empty Pitchers' parody of The Daily Show's parody of ESPN-style sportstalk shows, where two or more sports "experts" yell at each other about . . . duh, sports.]

S ⚽ P 🏀 O 🏈 R ⚾ T 🥎 S     W 💣 A 🔫 R

Chieng:  What's up, morons?  I'm Ronny Chieng . . . 

Klepper:  . . . and I'm Jordan Klepper.  This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.  For example, if I say that Ronny Chieng doesn't suck . . . 

Chieng:  Well then, I have to disagree with you, Jordan!  Everybody knows I'm a bad son and a selfish lover.

Klepper:  Yes!  You also left out that you're rude to service workers.  Alright, let's get started with the biggest story in sports today: "The Great Buffalo Hunt" . . . 

Chieng:  . . . "The Thrilla at the DMVila" . . . 

Klepper:  . . . "The Shove at the Cove"!

Chieng:  No, dude, that sucks.  It's supposed to rhyme.  

Klepper:  Yeah, but it looks like it should rhyme, right?  I mean, . . . okay, how about, "The Big Deal in Wethersfiel(d)"?

Chieng:  . . . Meh.  

Klepper:  Okay, whatever.  Anyway, the Empty Pitchers hosted the Bisons at Cove Park/DMV on Thursday, the EP's first true home game of the 2025 season.  Which was bad news for the Bisons, I guess, as the EPs have won 14 of the last 16 times they've played each other.  I mean, total domination!  So everyone expected tonight's game to be an absolute blowout, right?

Chieng:  Wrong, Jordan!  Due to scheduling conflicts in 2024, these two teams hadn't seen each other in almost two years!  Who knew how revamped the Bisons roster would be?  They might have recruited a bunch of ringers.  Heck, they might have the entire cast of the Fast & Furious franchise playing for them!  Y'know, Diesel, Momoa, the Rock . . . 

Klepper:  You've got rocks in your head, Ronny!  I don't want to hear nomoa from you!  The EPs had Franchise pitching, a strong lineup including four female players, a roaring crowd in the stands . . . 

Chieng:  Roaring crowd?  

Klepper:  Maddy and Jaden and Angela were all there.  Okay, maybe not roaring, per se, but I'm sure they were rooting for the EPs . . . softly . . . on the inside.

Chieng:  . . . and stands?  There weren't even any benches for the teams to sit on!

Klepper:  Touche.  That was kinda weird.  The Bisons ended up sitting under the trees, half a mile away from the plate for some reason.

Chieng:  Anyway, the Bisons struck first, managing a two-out rbi-double in the top of the 1st inning after a leadoff single and back-to-back fielder's choice grounders to third.  That's right, it's the Bisons with a quick jab to the face to actually take the lead!

Klepper:  Ohhhhh, throw the flag!  Send 'em to The Hague!  C'mon!  The Empty Pitchers were clearly getting bullied and I'm sick of it!  You can't just push people around in sports.  Unless it's football, or hockey, or basketball, or the Little League World Series, or . . . being Drunk Dad at the Little League World Series.

Chieng:  Well, I hope one of those dads shoves you into traffic, Jordan, because you couldn't be more wrong!  As a lifelong parks & rec level, co-ed softball fan ever since we first covered an EP game four weeks ago, I can say with absolute certainty that that single run barely constituted a threat!  Hey!  The Empty Pitchers need to get harder if they want me, their target demographic, to keep watching.  Okay?  You hear that, EPs?  Just because a softball team doesn't have a penis doesn't mean you can't get hard.  Just ask Jordan.

Klepper:  [looks confused]  Umm, are you saying my penis is soft, or non-existent?

Chieng:  [pauses]  Whichever hurts your feelings more.

Klepper:  Ha, ha!  Jokes on you, Ronny, I'm dead inside!  Look, I relate to the EPs.  A superstar team, at the top of their game, surrounded by jealous peers.  EPs, I see you.  I am you.  And we're not going to let bottom-feeders like Ronny Chieng push us around.  Which brings us to J.Klep's Can't Lose Bet of the Week:

"What's the source of Ronny Chieng's crippling inferiority complex?"

1. Father . . . +110
2. Height . . . +240
3. Legitimately inferior . . . +580

Brought to you by GAMBLING.  "Gambling -- You Can Only Lose If You Stop."

Chieng:  Okay, okay, whatever, . . . moving on, the EPs did indeed get hard, as they struck right back in the bottom of the 1st.  Eric singled, Nate doubled, and one out later, Rob drove 'em both home with a single to put the EPs out in front, 2-1.  Huh, that was surprisingly easy.  Nancy replaced Rob on the basepaths due to a fielder's choice, and then came all the way around to score on Caleb's booming triple.  Fausto singled Caleb in, and just like that, the EPs had a sweet 4-1 lead.  But it was still so early in the game.  Could the EPs hold that lead?

Klepper:  Oh, with ease.  With ease!  Between Franchise's pitching and the tight EP defense, the Bisons were as impotent as Ronny Chieng on a date.  And just like Ronny on a date, they failed to score. They got nothing at all from the 2nd through the 5th innings.  Meanwhile, the EPs tacked on here and there.  Both Mike and Ron singled to open the home-half of the 2nd, but a pair of grounders and a flyout kept them off the board.  In the 3rd, Nate, Joe and Rob all singled consecutively before an out was recorded, Rob's hit driving home Nate to make it 5-1.  Rob himself crossed the plate on a one-out single by Caleb to get it to 6-1.  The last-half of the 4th saw leadoff hits by Jae and Mike, but a couple of groundouts, including a 5-5-3 double play, killed the rally.  And in the bottom of the 5th, Eric and Nate singled with one out, before Eric trotted home on Joe's rbi-groundout to second, upping the EP lead to 7-1.  Rob also singled in the inning, but no further runs scored.

Chieng:  I hate to break your momentum there, Jordan, but I think it's time we address the Empty-phant in the room.  There's just too much nepotism on this EP team!  I mean, let's just look at tonight's lineup:  Eric's wife and sister-in-law both played for the EPs years ago; Nate's girlfriend played; Joe's fiance plays; Rob's wife played; Nancy's ex-husband and her son have played; one of Ron's daughters played; Jocelyn's husband plays, and her step-daughter played; Yaidy's daughter played, and her son even gets into this game later on!  It's too much!  Yo, there's zero chance that all of these relatives can live up to the legacy of the current EPs!  Go do something else, like being awesome dentists, or awesome architects, or medium World's Most Awesome People.  Quit while you're not ahead!

Klepper:  Oh yeah?  That's good advice, Ronny.  You should take it.  Of course these people should play with the EPs!  The children of great people are always great themselves!  Don, . . . Junior.  RFK, . . . Junior.  Carl's, . . . Jr.  All great men, right?  Okay, bad examples.  The point is, the only pressure here is on the OG EPs.  If their sperm or eggs can't produce a .500-ish softball team that single-handedly reinvigorates the local pizza economy, then I say the Empty Pitchers are overrated!

Chieng:  Overrated?  That's just what your mom said to me last night!  Ha, ha!

Klepper:  [confused]  So . . . so you made love to my mother . . . poorly?

Chieng:  [pauses]  Like I said, Jordan, I'm a selfish lover.  Which brings us to Ronny's Slam Dunk Bet of the Night:

"Who will be a greater disappointment to their father:"

1. EP nepo-babies . . . -110
2. Jordan Klepper . . . +240

As always, brought to you by GAMBLING.  "Gambling -- It's Like Taking Candy From a Baby, But the Candy Is Money."

Klepper:  Let's get back to the game.  Doc came in from left-centerfield to take over the pitching duties for the EPs in the top of the 6th inning.  The Bisons did break through, but only barely, scratching out another lone run to close the deficit to 7-2.  But no worries, as the Bisons helpfully aided the EP response.  Caleb got things started in the bottom of the 6th when his fly to left popped out of the glove of the fielder for an error.  One out later, Jae's grounder to shortstop was booted for another miscue.  With two on and two out, Ron singled to load the bases for Jocelyn, who ripped a clutch single over the shortstop's leaping reach to plate both Caleb and Jae, and the lead had ballooned to 9-2.  Great job!

Chieng:  Don't get too cocky, Jordan.  As they say, "It ain't over until the fat lady has a bird in her hand or two birds in her bush," or something like that.  

Klepper:  What the hell are you talking about, Ronny?  Anyway, going to the final inning and now up by a touchdown, the EPs made a shocking announcement regarding the retirement of a sports legend.  Longtime EP outfielder Rob Fayle was stepping down . . . as tonight's right fielder, and the EPs were promoting Yaidy's son Jaden to the big league squad to play a half-inning of defense.  A bold move, indeed.  But would the tiny bit of experience for young Jaden be worth the risk?

Chieng:  It was absolutely worth it, okay, Jordan?  Jaden gets to play in the game, as well as softball immortality right here on this website, while Rob gets to rest for a half-inning.  It's a win-win!  I mean, Rob is a legend, not to mention, he's Asian!  Shout out Asian athletes!  That's right, I've only gotten to say that, like, four times my entire life.  And shame on you, Jordan, for not supporting the work of one of our greatest Asian athletes!

Klepper:  Wrong!  You're wrong, Ronny!  I fully support his decision to step away from the game at the tail end of a blowout victory, but I am 100% positive that Rob is not from Asia, unless the U.S. sold Massachusetts to Mongolia when I wasn't looking.  Which brings us to our Double-Down Bet of the Night:  

"Which Asian that hosts this program will retire next:"

1. Ronny . . . +120
2. R. Chieng . . . +260
3. Ronny C. . . . +520

Brought to you by GAMBLING.  "Have You Lost the Ability to Experience Sensation?  Try Gambling.  See How Worse It Can Get."

Chieng:  The EPs have had a bit of trouble closing out games this season, and tonight was no exception.  The Bisons started knocking hits all over the field, tallying three comeback runs before the final out could be recorded.  Yes, the EPs hung on, barely, winning the ballgame 9-5.  And sorry, Jordan, I'm not retiring.

Klepper:  Too late, Ronny, the fans have spoken!  Join us next time on Sports War, we'll be debating Pickleball:  Better With Guns?  See ya!

Chieng:  Bye!

The win evens our 2025 record at 4-4.  We are now 1-2 at home, 3-2 on the road.

The offensive players of the game were Rob (3-for-3 with a run scored and 3 rbi) and Caleb (2-for-3 with a triple, 2 runs scored and 2 rbi).  On the defensive side, the most impressive play of the game was actually made by the Bisons' female left-centerfielder.  In the bottom of the 3rd inning, the EPs had runners at first and second with one out.  Fausto blasted a drive into center that seemed destined for extra-bases, but the fielder made a great, lunging catch at a full run for the second out, then spun and fired to second to double Nancy off the bag to complete the double play and end the inning.  For the EPs, Jaden may have preserved the EP lead in the top of the 7th when he gloved a hard liner to rightfield on one hop and got the ball back into the infield;  if that hit had gotten by, it would probably have been a 3-run homerun, cutting the game to 9-8.

Notes & Numbers

• Not exactly a blowout:  The last time the EPs scored fewer than 10 runs and still won the ballgame?  35 games ago, in our 9-6 victory over Pretty Reckless on August 17, 2023.  Ron was also the starter and winning pitcher that day.
• Still smokin':  Nate has hits in 7 consecutive at-bats (3b, 1b, 1b, 2b, 2b, 1b, 1b), and 12 of his last 13 plate appearances.
• Third's the charm:  Caleb has now tripled in back-to-back games.  The last EP to collect 3-baggers in successive ballgames was . . . DO YOU REALLY THINK I HAVE THE TIME TO LOOK THIS KIND OF THING UP?  Just kidding.  It was Joe, who tripled in our 15-6 win over Caught Lookin on July 18, 2024; then tripled the following week (07/24/24) in our 19-3 pasting of the Line Drivers.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Caleb has now played in 100 career games for the EPs (10th-most all-time).  Yaidy's 5th-inning groundout was her 100th career at-bat (21st-most all-time).  Caleb smashed his 20th career triple in the 1st inning (6th-most all-time).  Ron has now won 20 career games as a pitcher for the EPs (2nd-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Rob scored the 100th run of the season for the EPs when he crossed the plate in the 3rd inning.  Mike collected our team's 150th hit of the year with his 4th-inning single.  Eric's 5th-inning single was our team's 200th total base of 2025.

Yeah, it's a dad joke, but it's Father's Day! 

[Editor's note:  While dining at Bloomfield Village Pizza after the game, Taylor Swift's name came up in conversation, and I realized that I've never used her music in a writeup.  Shame on me!  Time to rectify that.]

Coming into this week's softball game, we could have been forgiven for feeling a little glum.  The Empty Pitchers had lost two straight games (17-14 to The Dream Team and 8-4 versus Acid Reign) over the past fortnight.  Our overall 2025 record sat at a discouraging 2-4.  It seems that we have been dodging precipitation and below-average temperatures every single week (it's been a wet Spring -- will we have a cruel Summer as well?).  And, perhaps saddest of all, we have been Tino-less for a month now. 

But on Thursday evening, we took a big step toward a karma correction.  No, we were still without Mr. Maybe, but we did have sunny skies (no midnight rain); temps around 90-degrees (too warm for a cardigan); a dry, puddle-free playing field at Bloomfield High School; and an opponent (E.coli Happens) against whom we've historically been pretty solid (10-5-2 all-time, although there's no bad blood between our squads).  Oh, and our opponents even had 10 players, so we didn't have to lend assistance on defense this time (with the exception of our young Justin catching for them for one inning, as one E.coli player was late due to traffic -- the highway don't care about softball).  All in all, not too shabby, and in the end, today was a fairytale.

Tonight's EP softball love story started off a little slowly, as we scored only one run in the top of the 1st inning, when Nate made sparks fly with a triple to left with one out, and immediately scored on an rbi-single by Joe.  But hey, a delicate 1-0 lead is still a lead.  Unfortunately, it didn't last long, as E.coli's newly-revamped, younger roster jumped on starting pitcher Eric for a pair of 1st-inning runs to go out in front, 2-1.

In the 2nd, the EPs threatened with back-to-back singles by Jonathan and Jae, but we failed to push any runs across.  Meanwhile, our opponents squeezed out one run in their half of the frame to increase their advantage to 3-1.

Should we be worried?  Nah.  Shake it off . . . there will be no teardrops on my guitar today!  As we go to the 3rd, everything has changed.  Jocelyn, Eric and Nate all singled off stalwart E.coli pitcher Barb to load the bases for Joe, who smashed a single of his own off the glove of the shortstop and into the outfield.  Bubbles and Doc both touched the plate, and when the left-centerfielder uncorked an errant throw in the, let's say, general direction of home, Nate took third and Joe advanced to second.  3-3, tie ballgame!  But we weren't finished!  Nancy's groundout to third allowed Nate to come home to give us a 4-3 lead, a lead we would never relinquish.  Our score and E.coli's score?  We are never ever getting back together.  And then Joe scored when Caleb's grounder to short was misplayed for an error.  5-3 EPs!  Fausto also singled in the inning, although we failed to add any more runs.  In the home-half of the 3rd, Eric bore down on the E.coli lineup, and with the help of a smooth 1-6-3 double-play (two is better than one), our opponents were kept off the scoreboard entirely.

The EPs had regained the lead  in the 3rd, but it was here in the 4th where they blew the game open.  Mike jump-started the action with his red-handled bat with a line-drive down the leftfield line for a double, and took an extra base when the left fielder underthrew to third, drawing the third baseman away from the bag and leaving the base unguarded.  Look what you made me do!  Mike scored when Ron ground out to short, making it 6-3.  For the second straight inning, Jocelyn, Eric and Nate all singled in succession, Nate's drive bringing Jocelyn around to score [7-3].  Awesome!  One out later, Nancy ripped a single that brought Eric across [8-3], and then Caleb tripled to bring in both Nate and Nancy [10-3]!  Yes!  Fausto's grounder to short was booted for an error, allowing Caleb to touch the dish, and the EPs had completed a 6-run outburst, upping their lead to 11-3!  Amazing!  (Hey, it's still early, Mike, you need to calm down.)  E.coli's response?  A blank space.  A big ol' nothin'-burger in the bottom of the 4th.

Jae led off the top of the 5th with style as she lined a single over the third baseman, but the next three EP batters were retired uneventfully.  Franchise now came on to pitch the bottom of the 5th, and in 1-2-3 fashion disposed of the E.coli hitters, hanging a third straight zero on their scoreboard line.

Not content with our 11-3 lead, the EPs would begin again in the 6th, as Nate blooped a double into left-centerfield, tagged up and moved to third on Joe's deep flyout, and Nancy plated him with a two-out single [12-3].  Then came one of the strangest plays of the day, as Caleb stroked a single into right-center.  Nancy easily went from first to second, then noticed that the third baseman had abandoned his position to cover the bag at second.  So she took off for third, and when someone yelled, "no one's covering third," the right-centerfielder must have misheard, because he flung the ball to nobody at all and past the empty third base area.  Nancy then made the turn and scored without a throw, with Caleb taking second, thanks to the error [13-3].  Fausto made 'em pay for that, becoming E.coli's anti-hero, with his single chasing home Caleb to make it 14-3.  Another pair of singles from Jonathan and Jae scored Fausto, and we went to the bottom of the 6th now comfortably in front fifteen-3.  Could E.coli Happens mount a comeback?  The EPs know about comeback walkoffs all too well this season.  After having been held scoreless since the 2nd inning, they finally found their offensive swings in the 6th, putting together a mini-rally worth three runs, before a liner up the middle ended it when the ball caromed off the E.coli runner from second base.  E.coli was still down bad, at 15-6.

At this point, E.coli manager Richie waived the white flag, calling the game.  We were having fun, and there was still some daylight left, what with the lavender haze of sunset in the west, so I should've said no, but whatever.  Is it over now?  The day was ours as the EPs win, 15-6!

The victory improves our 2025 record to . . . ready for it?  3-4.  We are now 0-2 as the home team, 3-2 as the visitors.

The offensive players of the game were Nate (4-for-4 with a double, triple, 4 runs scored and an rbi) and Nancy (2-for-4 with 2 runs scored and 3 rbi).  On defense, second baseman Jocelyn made a fearless stop of a hard-lined one-hopper, flipping to Caleb to get a forceout at second.  Catcher Ron had his eyes open as he yelled, "mine!" and made a difficult grab of a pop-up just down the firstbase line.  And of course, our pitchers Eric and Ron were playing our song, holding E.coli to only 6 runs in 6 innings.  Sweet!

Notes & Numbers (cuz I'm a stats lover)

• Ladies night:  The three female players in tonight's lineup went a combined 7-for-11 (Nancy 2-for-4; Jae 3-for-4; Jocelyn 2-for-3), with 4 runs scored and 4 rbi.
• Who's hot?:  Nate has hits in 9 of his last 10 plate appearances (1b, 1b, 1b, 1b, 1b, 1-3 groundout, 3b, 1b, 1b, 2b).  I couldn't do that in my wildest dreams.
• Who's not?:  The only three EPs to have played in every game this season (Eric, Joe and Mike) were a combined 5-for-12 with 4 runs scored and 3 rbi.  Does this mean that somebody needs some time off?  I don't know, maybe.  
• How many hits did the EPs get tonight?:  22.  That's not unusual or anything.  I just wanted to get that song title in there.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Nancy has now played in 75 career games (14th-most all-time).  Jocelyn has now taken 550 career at-bats (4th-most all-time).  Jae has now taken 250 career at-bats (12th-most all-time).  Nate picked up his 50th career double in the 6th inning (5th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  When Ron lined out to third in the 5th inning, it was our 250th team plate appearance of 2025.  When Eric lined out to third in the 6th inning, it was our 250th team at-bat of the season.  Nate's 6th inning double was the EPs' 20th two-bagger of the year.

As the Empty Pitchers' 2025 softball season approaches the end of May, one of the themes that jumps out so far has clearly been the strong offense the EPs have displayed.  In Game #1 versus Acid Reign, we scored 16 runs;  topped that with 26 runs against the Line Drivers in Game #2;  pounded E.coli Happens with 19 runs in Game #4;  and even plated 14 in a close loss to The Dream Team in Game #5.  In fact, the only time this season that we've failed to reach double figures in runs was in Game #3, which was severely shortened to just a pair of innings by rain -- given a full 7 innings, the offense probably would have rumbled to life.

So it was that, going into our Game #6 rematch with Acid Reign on Thursday evening in Colt Park in Hartford, the EPs had to be feeling pretty confident.  Would we pull off the win?  Who knows, but it definitely seemed a given that we would represent offensively and make a competitive game of it.

Franchise took the mound to pitch for the EPs, who played as the home team despite being on our opponents' field.  Under cloudy, but rainless skies, Acid Reign drew first blood with three quick runs in the top of the 1st.  No biggie . . . now it was our turn to respond!  Joe singled with one out in the bottom of the frame, but the EPs otherwise went down quietly.  Huh.  Oh well, we'll get 'em next inning.

In the 2nd, the EP pitching and defense held serve, as Acid Reign went scoreless.  And in the home-half, Jocelyn and Caleb opened the action with back-to-back singles to start our big rally.  One out later, Fausto reached to load the bases when his grounder to third caromed off the glove of the third baseman for an error.  Here we go!  But a pop-up and a fielder's choice ended the threat with no runs across.  Dang.  After a pair of innings, still 3-0 Acid Reign.

Our opponents added a pair of runs in the top of the 3rd to extend their lead to 5-0.  Okay, time to answer, EPs!  With one out, Mike reached first when his grounder to third was fielded, but the throw drew the first baseman well off the bag for a miscue.  Eric followed with a single to put runners at first and second, but then a pop-out and a fly ball killed the momentum.  Hmmm, we just weren't getting that one big hit.

To the 4th, where Acid Reign was again kept off the board, keeping the game at 5-0.  Caleb stroked a two-out single in the bottom of the inning, but that was the extent of our offense, thanks to a pop-out, a groundout and a flyout.  Hey!  Where did all of our awesome hitting go?

Doc came on to pitch the 5th inning, and surrendered a deuce, upping the Acid Reign advantage to 7-0.  No problem, though, because here comes the pain!  Fausto led off the last-half of the 5th with a single . . . and then three straight fielder's choice grounders ensued, as the EP bats remained asleep.    Ugh.

Acid Reign tacked on one additional insurance run in the top of the 6th, now going up 8-0.  It would be a tough climb, but c'mon, the EPs were still not out of this.  Really, we weren't!  With one out in the bottom of the 6th, the bats finally showed a glimmer of life.  Eric and Joe both singled in succession, and after a fly to left for the second out, Jeff singled to load the bags for Bubbles.  She bounced one back toward the mound, where the pitcher fielded it, spun, and threw the ball past the first baseman and out of play for a big ol' 2-run error!  Eric and Joe had crossed the dish, and we were finally on the board at 8-2!  Now with runners at second and third, Caleb stroked a double to drive home both Jeff and Jocelyn, and the deficit had been cut in half, at 8-4!  Erienne kept the party going with a single to move Caleb over to third, but a fly to left ended the rally right there.  Still, the EPs had awoken, with one inning left to play!

Acid Reign could do no damage in their half of the 7th inning, so we went into our final at-bats chasing four runs.  Could we put together another rally and walk this one off?  Ron singled to open the threat!  Yes!  But then disaster . . . a quick double-play grounder to shortstop, followed by a weak grounder to third, and that was it.  An 8-4 loss and heartbreak.

The defeat drops our 2025 record to 2-4.  We are now 0-2 as the home team, and 2-2 on the road.

The offensive player of the game was Caleb, who went 3-for-3 with two rbi.  He also had our only extra-base hit with a double.  Defensively, our tandem of pitchers, Ron and Eric, did a truly fine job of holding our opponents to only 8 runs over 7 innings, against a team that has scored 54 runs against us in our previous 3 meetings (an average of 18 runs per game).

Notes & Numbers

• Disregarding our 2-inning game in Week #3 this season, the last time we scored as few as 8 runs in a ballgame was on August 29, 2024, when we lost 15-8 to Caught Lookin' at Newington High School.
• Milestones (since 2015):  none.
• Team milestones:  When Jocelyn ground out to third in the 4th inning, it was our 200th team plate appearance of the season.  When Erienne flew out to right in the 4th inning, it was our 200th team at-bat of 2025.  When Mike reached on an error in the 3rd inning, it was the 10th time this year that an EP had done so.  When Angela ground into an unassisted fielder's choice to shortstop to end the 5th inning, it was the 20th fielder's choice hit into by an EP this season.  Joe's single in the 6th inning was our team's 150th total base of the year.

[Editor's note:  I'm not telling you what this week's theme is.  Let's see if you can game it out!]

Ay, diablo!  It feels like it's been raining for a fortnite!  I worry that our civilization might drown, so much water falls from the skyrim!  But y'know, with even more heavy rains predicted for Thursday this past week, the Empty Pitchers actually lucked out, as the schedule serendipitously had us making a journey to the borderlands of Bloomfield on Wednesday evening to take on The Dream Team for the first time in 2025.  Sure, it was cool and overcast, but the precipitation held off just long enough for us to get a game in. 

The Dream Team have historically been a very tough match-up along the gauntlet that is this GHISL league of legends, winning 11 of the 14 times these two teams have met prior to this season.  On the plus side, however, the EPs did pull off a stunning 24-23 victory at Cove Park in our last mortal kombat on August 15, 2024.

The EPs roster was looking a little thin, as often happens on off-Thursday games, but we were bolstered by the additions of Angela (making her first start in over a year) and Fausto (making his EP debut after entering the transfer portal from kickball).  So, let's [Nintendo] switch up the lineup, step into the batter's [X]box, and Play[station] some ball!  Wii!

The bats were singing to open the game, with our super smash bros. Eric and Nate both singling to set the stage for Joe, who lofted a deep fly to left.  It looked catchable, but zork!  The ball doinked off the fielder's glove, allowing Doc to race home with the game's first run [1-0 EPs].  Caleb took advantage of his goldeneye at the plate to smash a base hit to score Nate [2-0 EPs], before Jocelyn singled to load the bases, still with no one out.  Following a forceout at the plate on a comebacker to the mound, Mike dropped a single into right-centerfield to plate Caleb [3-0 EPs].  Jonathan just myst his pitch, as his bouncer to short forced Angela at third, but happy damage was still done when Jocelyn scored on the play [4-0 EPs].  And then Fausto came through in his first EP at-bat with an rbi single to bring Mike around from second, an animal crossing the dish and giving the EPs a sweet 5-0 advantage after a half-inning of play!

From our splinter cell of pitchers, Franchise got the nod to start on that silent hill called the pitching mound for the EPs tonight, and held those dark souls of the Dream Team lineup to just a pair of runs [5-2 EPs].

The EPs added to their control of the game in the 2nd, when Eric and Nate once more both singled, and Joe again plated Doc, this time with a solid single of his own [6-2 EPs].  And the deja vu continued as Caleb answered the call of duty and drove home Nate with a single [7-2 EPs], Joe taking third on the play.  Jocelyn's grounder to short resulted in a forceout at second, but Joe came in to make it 8-2.  Things were looking great for our heroes.

And then, the patented "One Bad Inning" struck.  In the bottom of the 2nd, the EP defense became porous, committing several errors and allowing The Dream Team to rumble around the bases to the tune of 11 huge runs.  Eleven!  The mass effect of their rally put TDT out in front, 13-8, after two innings, and the system shock could have thoroughly demoralized the EPs.  We could have been left 4 dead.

But EPs don't fold that easily!  We would not be dishonored!  In the top of the 3rd, Mike's infield pop-up fell in untouched for a single, and one out later, Fausto singled.  With two outs, Ron's single loaded 'em up for Eric, who knocked a 2-run single to drive home Angela and Fausto, pushing the EPs to double digits at 13-10.  Nate reloaded the bags with a hit, and then mega man Joe unloaded them, plowing a shot into the uncharted regions of rightfield for a 3-run triple, with Ron, Eric and Nate all having gone home to knot the game at 13-13!  What a great counter-strike!  But we weren't quite done yet!  Caleb's pop-up behind the second baseman was earthbound, kicking off their glove for an error, and Joe scored, completing a 6-run inning and giving us the lead once again [14-13 EPs]!  It's not a fable -- we did this!

Just as nice, the EP pitching and defense had settled down, holding TDT scoreless inside the home-half of the 3rd, and allowing us to hang a big, round halo on the scoreboard.

But the EPs' great play seems to have had a half-life, and here's where the game truly changed.  For whatever reason, the EPs went nearly silent from here on out.  Mike singled with one out in the 4th, but we did nothing more.  Eric picked up a two-out double dragon in the 5th, but we couldn't get him in.  And Caleb singled with one out in the top of the 6th, but that was it.  A total burnout of the offense, as we were shut out for three consecutive frames.  What a kick in the asteroids!  Ugh.

Meanwhile, TDT managed to plate three runs in their half of the 4th inning, retaking the lead at 16-14.  And they squeezed out a lone insurance run in the bottom of the 5th, extending their advantage to 17-14 and sealing our doom.  But it was enough, as the growing twilight forced the game to be called, following the last of us EPs' fruitless at-bats in the 6th.

The fallout from this 17-14 loss?  Our 2025 season record drops to 2-3.  We are 0-1 as the home team, 2-2 on the road.  Oh, well.  We'll move past tonight's grim fandango and look for some red dead redemption next week, I guess.

From my overwatch of the scorebook, the offensive players of the game were Eric (4-for-4 with a double, 3 runs scored and 2 rbi) and Joe (2-for-4 with a triple, 2 runs scored and 4 rbi).  They both truly showed their starcraft at the plate!  On the glove-side of the ball, shortstop Caleb made a Superman-like, leaping grab of a hard line drive over his head.  He was also involved in a well-executed rundown play, where third baseman Mike charged and fielded a grounder on the infield grass, but had no play at second or first; noticing the runner from second rounding third at speed and trying to sneak home like a thief, he fired to catcher Fausto, who tossed to Caleb on the third base line, who ran the runner toward the plate; tossing back to Fausto, the catcher easily slapped the tag on the runner for the final out of the inning.

Notes & Numbers

• Punching early:  Through 5 games this season, the EPs have scored 20 1st-inning runs;  16 2nd-inning runs;  15 3rd-inning runs;  6 4th-inning runs;  7 5th-inning runs;  6 6th-inning runs;  and 5 7th-inning runs.
• Choking late:  The EPs failed to score in the 4th, 5th and 6th innings.  That's the first time we've gone scoreless in three consecutive innings since our 14-7 loss to the Fighting Plankton last August 22 (a span of 10 games).  Coincidentally, that dead space shutout streak was also in the 4th, 5th and 6th innings.  Going forward, let's try to avoid that particular pitfall!
• Milestones (since 2015):  Eric led off the game with his 375th career hit (most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Jonathan took our 150th team at-bat of 2025 when he batted in the 1st inning.  When Joe scored in the 3rd inning, it was our 75th team run of the season.  Joe's 3rd-inning triple was the EPs 100th hit of the year.

[Editor's note:  In order to avoid copyright infringement, I am probably legally obligated to inform you that this is an Empty Pitchers parody of The Daily Show's parody of ESPN-style sportstalk shows, where two or more sports "experts" yell at each other about . . . well, duh, . . . sports.]

S ⚽ P 🏀 O 🏈 R ⚾ T 🥎 S     W 💣 A 🔫 R

Chieng:  What's up, lame brains?  I'm Ronny Chieng . . . 

Klepper:  . . . and I'm Jordan Klepper.  Welcome to Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

Chieng:  That's right, . . . I mean that's, . . . that's wrong!

Klepper:  Yeah, no, you're wrong!  For example, if I say that the Empty Pitchers' yellow-and-green shirts are the coolest uniforms in the league . . . 

Chieng:  . . . then I have to say that they look like a banana is being violently humped by a much younger, unripe banana.

Klepper:  Ooh, Ronny, how dare you?

Chieng:  Hey, no offense, no offense, I love bananas! 

Klepper:  Yeah, then why don't you go marry one, huh?  Huh?  Anyway, let's get to the big story of the day.  The Empty Pitchers softball team travelled to Bloomfield on Thursday to take on E.coli Happens.  Despite off-and-on drizzle all day, the field conditions at Bloomfield High School were pretty decent.  The problem, as it so often has been in the past, was E.coli's lack of a team.  At game time, they had two, two players!  So we waited until a couple more arrived.  And we waited, and we waited some more.  Eventually, we were approaching 6:30, and they still only had 6 players.  C'mon, man!  This game was scheduled in March!  It's your team's opening day!  How can you not have a full roster ready and raring to go?

Chieng:  You are so wrong, Jordan!  This was brilliant strategy on the part of the E.coli manager, Richie!  First, you make your opponents wait, stewing in their anxiousness to play, tiring themselves out warming up for an hour and a half.  Then you ask to "borrow" a couple of their best players, improving your lineup while weakening theirs.  And best of all, if you win, then you can boast that you crushed your enemy;  if you lose, you can play the victim and claim that the borrowed players must have thrown the game.  It's Sun Tzu 101, you cretin!

Klepper:  More like Curly Sue 101, you moron!  And thankfully,  the Empty Pitchers weren't falling for it!  Instead of just giving E.coli their players, the EPs decided to fill in the gaps defensively for their opponents, but only while on defense -- each team's players would hit for their own team.

Chieng:  That, that's actually not a bad idea.

Klepper: I know, right?  It works.  And stop agreeing with me!  Anyway, the EPs got off to a great start when Eric led off the game with a ringing single.  And after a couple of fielder's choice plays left Joe at first with two outs, the rally began in earnest when Rob and Jae singled back-to-back, scoring Joe with the game's first run.  Jeff ripped a double to plate Rob, and Caleb's single drove home both Jae and Jeff, and it was 4-0!  Wow!  Unfortunately, Erienne's grounder was handled by the shortstop to end the 1st-inning party with a fielder's choice.

Chieng:  Sorry, feminists!  Erienne ended the rally with a groundout?  I've seen enough, man.  That's just not good enough!  She ended all the fun?  She's like the Jordan Klepper of the Empty Pitchers!

Klepper:   Ronny, Ronny, Ronny, I'm gonna hit you . . . with my car and leave the scene.  Let's look at the stats here, Ronny.  Look at these things, she reached base three out of four times in this game!  She drove in a run.  She's got the highest qualifying career batting average of any female EP ever!  Ever!

Chieng:  Stats?  You want stats?  I've got a stat right here for you.  It says, "Jordan Klepper didn't lose his virginity until he was 38 years old!"

Klepper:  Okaaay, okaaay.

Chieng:  Man, you're the G.O.A.T. of whatever that is.

Klepper:  Okay, you know what?  [holds up a sheet of paper]  Here's your stat right here, "Eat me!", okay?  Moving on, Eric got the nod to start for the EPs tonight, and he did not disappoint.  E.coli Happens managed to squeak out only a pair of runs in the bottom of the 1st, closing the gap to 4-2.  And then the EP bats went back to work in the top of the 2nd.  With one out, Jocelyn and Mike singled consecutively, before Doc doubled to bring Bubbles home.  Mike scored when Nate's grounder to short was bobbled, and Joe drove Eric in with a single to make it 7-2.  But the EPs weren't done yet!  Rob's rbi-single allowed Nate to touch the dish, while Jae singled again to load the bases for Jeff.  He unloaded a titanic drive to right, but Jocelyn (defending out in rightfield) made the catch moving toward the line, limiting the EPs to a sacrifice fly, as Joe tagged and scored easily.  Next, Caleb reached on an error by the shortstop to reload the bags, and Erienne made 'em pay with a single to bring home Rob, pushing the EPs into double digits at 10-2!

Chieng:  Meanwhile, E.coli Happens could only add another measly couple of runs in the home-half of the 2nd, making it 10-4.  But the EP offensive onslaught would not relent!  Jocelyn, Mike, Eric and Nate all singled to open the 3rd frame, with Nate's drive plating Bubbles for an 11-4 lead.  Joe doubled Mike and Eric in, then Rob followed with a two-bagger of his own to chase home Nate and Joe, and just like that, it was 15-4, guys!  Our opponents were quickly finding themselves in deep doody!  

Klepper:  Speaking of doody, Ronny, why do you think they named their team "E.coli Happens"?  I mean, that is gross!  If athletes want to pick up a disease, it should be done the old-fashioned way -- unprotected sex in the Olympic village!  It's the only way to do it!

Chieng:  Wrong as usual, Jordan!  I think softball needs more E.coli, okay?  Because if you're going to call yourself a world-class softball player, then prove it by hitting a homerun with active diarrhea!

Klepper:  Oh, you love, you love, you loooove E.coli!

Chieng:  I love it?

Klepper:  You love it!  The last time I came to your house for a barbecue, you were sprinkling E.coli on chicken kebabs like Salt Bae, y'know?  Your hospitality was for the birds, Ronny!  Two stars, I was puking all night!

Chieng:  Yeah, well I puke just from looking at your oblong face!

Klepper:  Well, the point is, just like the Fourth of July at Ronny's house, this softball game was rife with E.coli!  Which brings us to J. Klep's Bet of the Week, where you can pick,

"Which EP will mercilessly retire E.coli pitcher Barb when she puts the ball in play?" 

Your options are: 

1. Caleb will field a grounder to short, step on second for a forceout, step off the bag, pause, see that Barb is still only a third of the way to first, then reluctantly lob a soft throw to Joe at first to complete what has got to be the slowest doubleplay in softball history . . . -110
2. After Barb grounds one back to the mound, Eric throws to first for the out.  First baseman Rob then apologizes to Barb for getting her out, to which she responds, "You must be Irish Catholic, apologizing like that!" . . . +180
3. When the ball is popped up on the infield, Ronny will run onto the field, yell "I got it!" and miss the ball as it smacks him right in the eye.  Luckily, it will ricochet directly to first for the out . . . +220

Brought to you by GAMBLING.  "Gambling -- Start spending now.  You'll probably eventually win something.  Probably."

Chieng:  Oh, and don't forget to claim your 20% bonus boost by entering the promo code:  KLEPPERSUCKS.  All caps.

Klepper:  No, . . . no.  I told you, I don't like that code.

Chieng:  It's not you, okay?  It's a different Klepper.

Klepper:  Oh, okay, then.  That's fine.

Chieng:  Nope, just kidding!  It's you, because you suck!

Klepper:  I suck?  I suck?  You blow!  Who cares?  We're all dead inside, get over it!  Let's talk about sports!

Chieng:  Alright, getting back to the game, Eric's pitching and the EP defense really tightened things up in the bottom of the 3rd and 4th innings, holding E.coli scoreless in both frames.  Unfortunately, the EP defense also tightened up when the EPs were batting as well.  In the top of the 4th, despite a one-out single from Jonathan, the EPs were kept off the scoreboard for the first time all evening thanks to grounders to EP gloves at second and short, and a liner to Rob in right-centerfield to end the inning.

Klepper:  Ouch.  Being retired by your own teammates, that's kind of emasculating.

Chieng:  Hey, what's so bad about that?  Someone needs to speak up for emasculated men like you.  Congratulations, Jordan, for the first time in your life, there's someone on an athletic field you can relate to!  You don't have to wear that fake varsity jacket anymore.

Klepper:  F*** you, Ronny!  I told you that in confidence!  Moving to a new school was difficult!  It was a natural way to make friends!  Ha-ha-ha!  Anyway, this raises a much larger problem.  Why are we using softball gloves at all?  Basketball, football, professional bowling, . . . Americans handle balls with our hands, . . . like Ronny's mom did to me last night, you know? [pantomimes a grabbing motion]

Chieng:  That is so wrong, Jordan!  You are useless!  Which brings us to our Bet Everything Wager of the Evening,

"Which useless position player will be next to wade into the culture war?"

1. Backup catcher . . . +130
2. Front-middle guy in bobsled . . . +220
3. Mike . . . +340

As always, brought to you by GAMBLING.  "Gambling -- It will fix everything.  Trust us."

Klepper:  Speaking of gambling, let's move on to the end of the game.  With the sun beginning to set, the teams gambled that they could fit one more inning in before it got darker than Pete Hegseth's soul.  With the top of the order due up in the 5th, Eric and Nate opened the action with singles, before Joe knocked a sacrifice fly to left to get Doc in for the 16-4 EP advantage.  Rob singled to put runners at first and second, and following a fielder's choice play at third for the second out, Jeff pummelled a pitch into deep rightfield for a three-run homer (1st season, 19th career), staking the EPs to a commanding 19-4 lead.  But could they hold on?

Chieng:  C'mon, Jordan, it is statistically impossible to blow a 15-run advantage.  Fact.  (Not that the EPs didn't try.)  E.coli Happens found their swings in the bottom of the 5th, banging out enough hits to tally four runs, before shortstop (?) Nate charged in and made a play on a weak dribbler to end the inning and the game.  The EPs win, 19-8!

Klepper:  Hard disagree!  They stole that game, Ronny!  They had, like, twice as many players!  And a scoreboard!  That's not fair!

Chieng:  Then E.coli should recruit some more players!  Dude, it's a problem of numbers!

Klepper:  Numbers?  No, it's a problem of languages!  There should only be one.  I suggest English.

Chieng:  Ohhh, big surprise!  Of course you suggest English.  That's the only language your tiny brain can handle.  The biggest head -- the smallest brain!

Klepper:  English!  English is gonna be the dominant global language for at least the next, uh, three more years!  Look, I'm speaking the Major League language here.  Why would I go back to Triple-A and learn . . . I don't know, Finnish?

Chieng:  What?  Finnish?  That's not even a real language, you dumbass!

Klepper:  It is so!  It's what they speak in Canada, Ronny!  Read a book, alright?  But do it on your own time, because we are on to the Big Bet of the Night. 

"Is this poll question yet another sign that America's normalization of gambling is corroding society?"

1. Yes . . . -110
2. No . . . +440

Brought to you by GAMBLING.  Remember, "Gambling -- Bet now.  Live forever."

Klepper:  Well, we're out of time.  Join us next time on Sports War, when we'll be debating Composite Bats versus Juiced Softballs: Which is more likely to put a hole in a pitcher's abdomen?

Chieng:  Good night, America!

This victory evens our season record at 2-2.  We are now 0-1 as the home team, and 2-1 on the road.

The offensive player of the game was Jeff (2-for-3 with a double, homerun, 2 runs scored and 5 rbi).  Also of note were Eric (4-for-4 with a double, 3 runs scored and an rbi), Joe (2-for-3 with a double, 3 runs scored and 4 rbi), and Rob (4-for-4 with a double, 3 runs scored and 3 rbi).

Notes & Numbers

Rollin' O:  Through four games here in 2025, the Empty Pitchers have now scored 16, 26, 0 and 19 runs, for an average of 15.25 runs per game.  Ignoring that abbreviated 2-inning shutout in game #3, that average jumps to 20.33 runs per game.  Hard to lose many games when scoring over twenty per!  Keep it up, EPs!

Milestones (since 2015):  Eric has now taken 650 career at-bats (1st-most all-time).  Caleb took his 300th career at-bat in the 3rd inning (10th-most all-time).  Jocelyn scored for the 100th time in her career in the 2nd inning (10th-most all-time).

Team milestones:  Nate scored our team's 50th run of the year in the 2nd inning.  Joe picked up our 50th team rbi of 2025 in the 3rd inning.  Eric grabbed our team's 100th total base of the season with his 2nd-inning double.

On Thursday evening, the skies were mostly cloudy, the temperature comfortably in the lower 70s, and despite a week of rainy weather, the fields at Colt Park in Hartford were in great condition for softball.  There were storms predicted, but they seemed to be staying far enough to the west that we would be unaffected.  For a time, at least.  ⛅⛅⛅

And so we decided to risk playing our game versus inDRStructible, our first "home" game of the 2025 campaign.  Our opponents were woefully undermanned (or should I say, under-womanned), being able to field only 8 male players.  After some discussion, it was agreed that they would play with the following stipulation -- every fifth spot in their lineup would be an automatic out.  A harsh penalty, but necessary to balance the talent disparity.  

Franchise took to the mound to pitch the top of the 1st inning, skillfully allowing only 2 runs.  

In the home-half of the 1st, Nate stroked a one-out double, but was left stranded at second, as dark clouds began to gather overhead.  ☁️☁️☁️

Thanks in large part to a pair of automatic outs in the frame, DRS went scoreless in the top of the 2nd.  Lightning began to be seen just to the west.  ⚡⚡⚡

The first two EP batters were quietly retired in the bottom of the 2nd, but then Ron sparked a potential rally with a single.  Jae knocked an infield single toward third base, and when the third baseman threw the ball past the first baseman for an error, both runners advanced.  Rob then blasted a drive to left-center, but the fielder was able to make a nice running catch in the gap to end our scoring threat.  Meanwhile, the rumbles of thunder crept closer.  🌩🌩🌩

So we went to the 3rd inning, trailing 2-0.  The leadoff hitter for DRS was retired on a flyout, and then the winds arrived.  Strong gusts tore across the park, and a light drizzle began to fall.  Um, . . . obviously, time to call it.  As Charlie Brown would say, "Rats."  💨💨💨

By the time we were in our cars and pulling out of the parking lot, the skies had opened up.   ☔☔☔

The 2-0 loss drops our 2025 record to 1-2.  We are now 0-1 as the home team, 1-1 on the road.

The EP player of the "game" was Nate, who went 1-for-1 with a double.  Apologies to Dax and Justin, neither of whom even got a chance to come to the plate.

Notes & Numbers

• This counts?:  You might ask why we'd even consider this rain-abridged contest an actual game in our records.  Well, way back on July 14, 2016, we took on the Alaskan Brothers at Cove Park/DMV.  After both teams went scoreless in the 1st inning, our opponents squeezed out a lone run in the top of the 2nd off of starting pitcher Chris.  We responded in the bottom of the 2nd with a one-out single by Demetrio and a two-out, two-run homerun by Hulk to go up 2-1.  Then a hard rain began to fall, and the game was called.  We've always considered that a valid victory, so it would be difficult to argue that this week's game should not similarly qualify.  A tough loss to take, sure, but a loss nonetheless.  Should we have called this a forfeit win, regardless of the on-field outcome?  Perhaps, but inDRStructible did not borrow any of our players (although we did provide a non-fielding catcher), and there was the whole double auto-out thing we agreed to, so perhaps not.  I don't know . . . to call it a forfeit win just feels nit-picky.
• Heroes to zeroes:  After scoring 26 runs last week, the EPs this week suffered our first shutout loss of all time (or at least as far back as our records go).  Yes, we only played two innings, but through the first two games of 2025, we've averaged 9 runs by the end of the 2nd frame.
• Good news/bad news:  Nate has now had a base hit in 10 consecutive plate appearances going back to last season.  On the other hand, Rob's 2nd-inning flyout ended his consecutive hit streak of 11 straight plate appearances, again going back to the 2024 season.
• Milestones (since 2015):  This was Joe's 100th career game as an Empty Pitcher (9th-most all-time).  Ron's single in the 2nd-inning was the 250th hit of his career (6th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Ron's single was also our team's 100th plate appearance and 100th at-bat of the 2025 season.

[Editor's note:  I was thinking of doing a "song titles" recap this week.  Our opponents were the Line Drivers, a team composed of employees from the CT Department of Transportation.  Soooooo, . . . . what could be more appropriate than The Cars?]

Hello again!     

Last week's walk-off loss to Acid Reign, 17-16, got the Empty Pitchers' 2025 campaign off to a rocky start.  So, how to shake it up and rebound?  How about a matchup with the Line Drivers?  They were a brand new team in our league in 2024, and the EPs were a perfect 2-0 against them, winning 19-3 in July, and 16-8 in September.  Sure, one should never take an opponent for granted, but this should have been an easy matchup, right?   Right?  

Ummm, yeah, pretty much.  Turns out, they were just what I needed!

Playing on Field #7 at Colt Park in Hartford under ideal conditions (mostly sunny, low 70s, with a breeze blowing straight out to centerfield), the EPs went to bat first as the visiting squad.  Joe got things rolling with a solid single to left with one out.  Singles by Rob and Jeff followed, the latter driving Joe across the plate with the game's first run.  Nancy, you are the girl who kept the singles party going with an rbi hit that brought Rob in, and like magic, it was 2-0.  Erienne reached as Nancy was erased on a fielder's choice grounder to second, before Tino chased both Mellens home with a booming triple to left.  What's more, the relay from the outfield was mis-thrown, allowing Tino to cross the dish as well, completing a 5-run top of the 1st.  Let's go, EPs!

Franchise was making his 2025 mound debut, and looked solid as the Line Drivers squeezed out only one measly run in the home-half of the frame, cutting the score to 5-1.  Oh, shutout, why can't I have you?

[Sniff, sniff]  Do you smell a fire?  Don't worry, it's just the EP's smoking hot bats!  Moving in stereo, Mike, Jocelyn and Jae all singled to open the top of the 2nd, loading the bases with nobody out.  And Caleb proceeded to empty 'em, blasting a double that brought in a pair of runs (Jae was pegged at the plate in a very close, touch and go kind of play) that upped our lead to 7-1.  Eric knocked Caleb home with a single -- 8-1.  Joe got Eric in with a triple -- 9-1.  And bye bye love, Rob destroyed a pitch for a 2-run homerun (1st season, 39th career) -- 11-1.  But the hits just kept on coming.  Jeff singled, and with two outs, scored on a single by Erienne.  We might have had even more, as Tino singled to right, but E was thrown out at home to end the rally.  Bad news?  Two runners thrown out at the plate in the same inning.  Good news?  A 7-run outburst and a 12-1 advantage!

Even better news?  Ron and the EP defense completely shut down our opponents in the bottom of the 2nd.  That's as sweet as my best friend's girl!

After all of that circling of the bases in the first 2 innings, the EPs took a metaphorical breather in the top of the 3rd, failing to score despite a one-out single by Mike.  Don't blame me -- I'm not the one who made the outs that inning!

The Line Drivers picked up a couple of runs in their half of the 3rd, closing the score to 12-3.

The top of the 4th saw Eric and Joe hit back-to-back doubles with one out, putting runners at second and third, as Doc had to hold up to see if Joe's drive would be caught.  Rob's single scored Eric for one run, and Jeff's drive for our third double of the inning plated both Joe and Rob to make it 15-3.  

The team from the DoT again managed only two runs in the bottom of the 4th, so heading to the 5th, the EPs held a commanding 15-5 lead.  It's all I can do to contain my excitement!

With one out in the 5th, the EPs got consecutive singles by Tino, Ron and Mike, with Mike's line drive up the middle allowing Tino to come home with our 16th run.

But the Line Drivers answered with a lone run of their own in the bottom of the 5th, and it was 16-6.

Okay, okay, enough of the small innings.  Time to get back to blasting!  In the top of the 6th, Caleb and Eric led off with a pair of singles, before Joe, a really dangerous type of batter, unleashed a 3-run tater (1st season, 38th career).  Hey softball, since you're gone, can we start another rally?  Rob doubled, then scored when Jeff's fly down the right field line was dropped for an error, taking it to 20-6.  And still no outs!  Nancy reached when the second baseman booted her grounder, moving Jeff over to third, and then he was able to come in on Erienne's 4-4-3 double play bouncer -- 21-6.  Tino also singled in the inning, but we couldn't score any more.  For now.

You might think we'd just coast from here on out, but c'mon!  You knew it wasn't going to be that easy, right?  Right?  

It rarely is.  Our opponents finally figured out Franchise in the bottom of the 6th, pounding out a barrage of hits, including two deep homers, to tack on 7 runs and cut their deficit to 21-13.  Still a sweet lead for the EPs, sure, but maybe just a little bit worrisome.

Turns out, not a problem.  Mike led off the top of the 7th with a single and was replaced on the basepaths on Bubbles' fielder's choice.  With two outs, Caleb singled her to second.  And Jocelyn?  Tonight she comes in when Eric doubled -- 22-13.  Joe singled to push Caleb and Eric across the plate -- 24-13.  Let the good times roll!  And the cherry on top?  Rob mashed his second 4-bagger of the night (2nd season, 40th career), another 2-run shot, to supply us with all the insurance runs we'd need at 26-13.  26 runs -- you're all I've got tonight, and it's more than enough!

Mike came in to pitch the bottom of the 7th, allowing one meaningless run.  After that, a pop to Tino at third base, a liner back to the mound, and a bouncer to the pitcher ended things neatly, as the Empty Pitchers closed out a strong 26-14 victory!

The win evens our 2025 record at 1-1.

The players of the game were Joe (5-for-5 with a double, triple, homerun, 5 runs scored and 6 rbi) and Rob (5-for-5 with a double, 2 homeruns, 5 runs scored and 5 rbi).  Just monster games by both players!  Also perfect at the plate were Tino (4-for-4 with a triple, 2 runs scored and 2 rbi) and Mike (4-for-4 with a run scored and an rbi).  On the defensive side, the play of the game occurred in the bottom of the 4th, when leftfielder Rob charged in and made a spectacular diving, rolling catch of a dying fly ball, hanging onto the ball for the out.

Notes & Numbers

• Cycling:  With 2 singles, a double, a triple and a homerun tonight, Joe successfully hit for the cycle!  He becomes the first EP to hit for the cycle since Hulk did it way back on October 4, 2020, when Jon went 4-for-6 with 5 runs scored and 7 rbi in our 36-23 victory over Jim Chakulski's Pick-up Team at Charter Oak Park in Manchester.  Incidently, since then, Rob has twice gone 3-for-3 with a double, triple and homer, but never got a 4th at-bat in either game.  Also, in May of 2022, Nate went 4-for-4 with a single, 2 triples, and a homer versus Pretty Reckless, bringing up the old debate about holding second for the double, or taking third when you've got it (personally, I think you made the right decision, Nate).
• Striking early:  The EPs scored 6 runs in the 1st inning of our 1st game this season.  We scored 5 runs in the 1st inning tonight.  Let's keep that momentum going!
• Stroking it:  With 33 hits in 52 at-bats tonight, the EPs had a team batting average of .635 -- that's our best offensive showing since our 29-11 win over The Regulators on August 1 of last season, when we hit .691 (38-for-55).  That was also the last time we scored at least 26 runs in a game.
• Milestones (since 2015):  Ron and Tino have both now played in 175 career ballgames (tied for 3rd-most all-time).  When Rob homered in the 2nd-inning, it was his 500th career at-bat (6th-most all-time).  Caleb scored for the 100th time in his EP career in the 2nd inning (9th-most all-time).
• Team milestones:  Eric's single in the top of the 6th inning was our 50th team hit of the season.  When Rob doubled in the 6th, it was our team's 10th double of the year.

[Editor's note:  As you may have heard around these parts, the University of Connecticut women's basketball team won the NCAA National Championship this year.  And so, a little tribute . . . ]

  As the song says, "It's the moooooost wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeeear!"  No, not Christmas.  Not even the day the kids go back to school after summer vacation (although I imagine that one is pretty sweet for you parents out there).  It's Opening Day!!!  The day we finally shake off those winter blues and take to the softball field once again.  And this year, it was even better than usual.  April softball games are usually played in chilly 50-degree temperatures under cloudy skies, on outfields unmown and infields bespotted with mud puddles, and a sunset that seems to drop by the middle of the 2nd inning.  Some years, there might even be snow and  Ice Brady !  But miracle of miracles, the temps on Thursday were in the mid-70s, the sun was in it's full glory, the fields were bone-dry, and we almost, almost got the whole game in before the sun went down.  A most wonderful time, indeed!

The Empty Pitchers' final game of the 2024 season was an 18-11 loss to Acid Reign on Field #1 at Colt Park in Hartford.  So it felt appropriate that here we were facing the same team, on the same field, to open the 2025 campaign.  An opportunity right up our  Allie Ziebell .  A chance at redemption, perhaps?

Well, it certainly looked like the EPs were itching to avenge last year's disappointment, as the lineup came out of the chute firing on all cylinders!  Eric opened the action in the top of the 1st inning with a sharp single.  He then came all the way around to score when Nate ripped a triple.  Joe followed with an rbi-double, and it was 2-0.  Carlos picked up a single, chasing Joe to the plate with our third run, before Nancy singled as well.  You want  Morgan Cheli ?  Okay, let's get more!  Rob's double scored Carlos to make it 4-0 and put runners on second and third.  Mike then lined a single over third to plate the pair, and our lead had ballooned to a half-dozen.  Uh-huh, that's right!   Azzi Fudd  around and find out!  It was as if no one wanted to make the first out of the season.  Unfortunately, the magic ended there, as Caleb lasered a liner right at the shortstop, and a pair of groundouts staunched the bleeding for the Acid Reign pitcher.  Still, it was a  Sarah Strong  start to the season, and hopefully a harbinger of great things to come.

What's more, Eric took the mound in the bottom of the frame, and he and the EP defense held our opponents scoreless.  6-0 EPs after an inning, and feeling confident -- this was not just the same  K.K. Arnold  sad opening day story!

 Aubrey Griffin  the top of the 2nd, the EPs enjoyed singles by Josh and Ron, but a lineout/throwout double play to the second baseman quickly erased that threat.

The momentum continued to shift in the home-half of the 2nd, when Acid Reign began to find their stride at the plate, and scored 4 times to close the deficit to 6-4.  

Okay, so we took a hard shot to our collective  Kaitlyn Chen , but rather than get knocked down, the EPs fired right back in the 3rd with a 4-run rally of our own.  Nate got us rolling with a leadoff double, then moved to third on Joe's single.  Carlos drove a base hit into the gap, with Nate scoring easily and Joe motoring all the way home from first, increasing our advantage to 8-4.  Consecutive hits by Nancy and Rob loaded the bags, and there were still no outs!  But a foulout and a fielder's choice play to the plate followed, and the Acid Reign pitcher almost wriggled out of the jam.  Almost.  Bubbles singled, scoring Nancy, and Rob came home when the third baseman threw wildly to the plate for  Jana El Alfy  error and a 10-4 EP lead.

A.R. could only squeeze out a single run in the bottom of the 3rd, so we headed to the 4th, up 10-5.

After the first two EP batters were retired to open the 4th inning, Eric and Nate singled back-to-back, and when Nate's hit glanced off the left-centerfielder's glove and past him for an error, the runners moved up to second and third.  Joe promptly cleaned those bags off with a 2-run double, then trotted home on yet another single by Carlos, upping our lead to a seemingly comfortable 13-5.  All was right with the world.

And then it began to crumble, just a bit.  Acid Reign put on their hitting shoes again, and took advantage of a few EP defensive lapses, to plate 5 big runs in their half of the 4th, closing the gap to 13-10, and making a game of it once more.

The Empty Pitchers were desperately in need of some insurance runs, and we got 'em right away when Rob led off the 5th with a single and scored on a double to center by Mike.  He then scored off a hard single by Caleb, and just like that, we had extended our lead to 15-10.  Cue the Neil Diamond, because Sweet  Caroline Ducharme , this was fun!  We might have had even more, as Jae and Ron both singled with two outs in the inning, but Tino was gunned down at the plate on a heads-up play by the A.R. defense, ending the threat.

Doc continued to throw  Ashlynn Shade  at our opponents from the mound, as they could only manage one lone run in the bottom of the 5th, making it 15-11.

All in all, the EPs were in a pretty fine position at this point.  Up four runs after 5 innings; the sun beginning to dip below the horizon; the top of our order due up in the 6th.  One good half-inning right here could really salt this thing away!  Alas, it was not to be.  Nate tripled with one out in the top of the frame, then crossed the dish on a groundout by Joe to get the score to 16-11, but that was all we could muster.  We didn't exactly put it away.  Our rhythm and  Qadence Samuels  were a tad off.  Acid Reign still had a chance . . . 

And  Ayanna Patterson , did they make use of it!  Batter after batter reached in the near-darkness of the bottom of the 6th, as Acid Reign piled on a relentless boatload of runs.  Finally, with still only one out recorded, it was decided that it was too dark to safely continue, so we waved the white flag.  That meant that the score was rolled back to whenever Acid Reign took a 17-16 lead, and left the Empty Pitchers with the opening day loss.  Rats.  

The defeat puts our 2025 record at 0-1.  We are 0-1 on the road, and yet to play at home.  Hopefully, we can turn the  Paige Bueckers  and win next week!

The players of the game were Nate (4-for-4 with a double, 2 triples, 4 runs scored and an rbi) and Joe (3-for-4 with 2 doubles, 3 runs scored and 4 rbi).  Also of note were Carlos (3-for-4 with a run scored and 4 rbi) and Rob (3-for-3 with a double, 3 runs scored and an rbi).  Defensively, second baseman Jocelyn and shortstop Caleb both made great snags of linedrives.

Notes & Numbers

• First things first:  Eric had the first base hit of the season.  Eric scored the first run of the year.  Nate picked up the first rbi of 2025.  Joe had the first double of the season.  Nate had the first triple of the year.  We are still waiting for our first homerun by an EP batter, and first strikeout and first win for an EP pitcher.
• Startin' early:  April 24 is the earliest in the year the Empty Pitchers have ever started a season.  Our previous record was in 2019, when we played the Hartford Stars on April 25 to open that year's slate.
• Startin' slow:  Since 2015, the EPs are now 4-7 on Opening Day.  And two of those wins were by forfeit, so . . . ugh.  We have now lost three consecutive season openers (18-17 to Pretty Reckless;  24-17 to Throwin' Shade;  and 17-16 to Acid Reign).
• Who's (still) hot?:  Going back to last season, Nate now has hits in 9 consecutive plate appearances (1b, 1b, 1b, 3b, 1b, 3b, 2b, 1b, 3b).  Rob has hits in each of his last 6 plate appearances (1b, 1b, Hr, 2b, 1b, 1b).
• Milestones (since 2015):  Ron has now taken 500 career at-bats (5th-most all-time).  Joe now has 325 career at-bats (8th-most all-time).  Joe's 4th-inning double was his 225th career base hit (7th-most all-time).  Joe's 1st-inning double was the 50th 2-bagger of his career (3rd-most all-time).  With this start, Eric became only the 3rd EP pitcher to cross the 150-career innings-pitched threshhold.