In (5):  Mike, Joe, Chelsea, Eric, Jae.

Maybe: 

Out:  Nancy, Caleb, Jocelyn.

[Editor's note:  Last year, the recap of our first softball game honored the UConn women's basketball team for winning the 2025 National Championship.  This season, the UConn men's basketball team lost in the 2026 NCAA championship game to Michigan, by a score of 69-63.  Still . . . that's a pretty impressive season, and they're well-deserving of a tribute of their own!  You'll find all 15 rostered players and the four coaches below!]

It's Opening Day 2026!

That's right, a brand new season with unlimited opportunities!  Last year's rough 6-16 record is now history, and the Empty Pitchers are once again tied  Jacob Furphy  first place in the league, albeit along with every other team, at 0-0.  So how to get the new schedule started?  Well, how about right where we finished off last September -- on Field #1 at Colt Park in Hartford, taking on long-time rival Acid Reign, and their manager  Jacob Ross .

So it was on the cloudy, cool (60 degrees at game time), last day of April that the EPs took up their bats once more, ready to rock!  And rock they did, with Eric jump-starting the season with a solid single off of Acid Reign pitcher Mark.  One out later, Rob ripped a single down the thirdbase line to put a pair on for Caleb, who promptly mashed a two-run triple to left.  And just like that, the EPs had broken the seal and taken the first lead of the year at 2-0!  Jae then brought Caleb home with a groundout to third, increasing the score to 3-0.  So, with two outs and no one on, the inning was pretty much done, right?  Don't  Braylon Mullins  that question too long, because Jeff and Erienne both singled, before Mike's single over the bag at third chased Jeff home to make it 4-0.  Ron dropped a swinging bunt in front of the plate, but beat out the throw from the pitcher (which actually drilled him in the back as he touched first base) for an infield single to load the bases.  Fausto then cleared a couple of those bases with a two-run liner up the middle, as Erienne and  Mike Nardi  scored to complete the EP outburst at 6-0.  Not a bad way to begin a campaign!

It wasn't going to be that easy, though.  Acid Reign struck back in the bottom of the 1st inning, plating four runs to  Silas Demary Jr  the shutout aspirations of EP starting pitcher Ron, and close their deficit to 6-4 after a frame.

All 11 EP batters having batted in the 1st, the 2nd inning began much the same way, as Eric opened things with a single.  Nate's single to center pushed Doc all the way to third, so there were runners at the corners with no outs.  Don't get too excited, however, as another big rally was not to be.  Rob reached when his grounder to short forced Mr.  Malachi Smith  at second, with Eric crossing the plate to make it 7-4.  But that was it for the offense this time, as a pop-up and a groundout followed, a real threat- Alec Millender .

Acid Reign was kept off the board in the bottom of the 2nd, thanks largely to a sweet double play.  With a runner at third and no outs, the batter slapped a grounder toward third.  Thirdbaseman Mike fielded and fired to Rob at first, but the runner from third broke for home a little late, and Rob then threw the  Solo Ball  to catcher Jocelyn at the plate, who put the tag on the runner to complete the 5-3-2 twin-killing.  Nice!  That play gave us  Rrezon Elezaj  to cheer!

The EPs added to their 7-4 advantage in the top of the 3rd, when the lawfirm of Mellen, Mellen & Mike struck for back-to-back-to-back base hits, loading the bags for Ron.  And Franchise was clutch, knocking a single to move everyone up a base and push Jeff across the dish to get it to 8-4.  Then Fausto  Uros Paunovic  up and drove a pitch to deep leftfield, and although the leftfielder corraled the ball for the out, Erienne tagged from third and came home to give the EPs a 9-4 lead.  A pair of groundouts prevented further damage.

Our opponents logged three runs of their own in the bottom of the 3rd, closing the gap to 9-7, but who knows how many further runs were saved when shortstop Caleb ended the inning with a leaping snatch of a line drive over his head?  A great play to preserve our lead!  I'll bet Acid Reign would like to  Alex Karaban  that kind of athleticism!

The top of the 4th was our first scoreless frame of the year, as Nate's leadoff single was wasted by a pop-out, flyout and groundout.

Unfortunately, Acid Reign chose not to take an inning off, as they plated four more unanswered runs in the bottom of the 4th to  Jayden Ross  their effort and grab their first lead of the season at 11-9.  Again, things could have been worse but for a spectacular defensive play.  This time, it was leftfielder Nate making his patented sliding catch of a dying-quail blooper on the leftfield line.  Awesome!

Looking to make a comeback and retake our lead, the EPs went to work in the top of the 5th when, with one out, both Erienne and Mike lined singles into the outfield.  With two outs, Fausto and Jocelyn also punched consecutive singles, Bubbles' hit driving in E to make it just a one-run ballgame at 11-10.  What a game!

And then the bottom (of the 5th) dropped out.  For whatever reason, the Acid Reign hitters kept . . . well, hitting . . . largely putting ball after ball right up the middle of the diamond for singles to center.  Knocking the  Tarris Reed Jr  out of the ball again and again and again.  That allowed them to score numerous times, and eventually, they added a big blow with a grand slam to left-centerfield.  When the dust settled, they had tallied ten crushing runs to blow the game open at 21-10.  Ugh!  I will  Jaylin Stewart  about that inning for a while!  The EP defense was not the problem, and did limit the damage a tad when one Acid Reign batter crushed a ball deep but slipped coming around third while attempting the homerun:  Left-centerfielder Eric retrieved the ball and proceeded to  Dan Hurley  it to his cutoff man in shortstop Caleb, who spun and fired to Mike at third;  Mike ran the runner toward home, tossing to pitcher Ron covering the plate;  when the runner reversed and tried to return to third, Ron flipped back to Mike for the tag and the 8-6-5-1-5 putout.

With dusk falling quickly under cloudy skies, it was agreed that there was no  Dwayne Koroma  we could get the whole game in -- the 6th would be our final inning.  Now down by eleven runs, Nate and Rob got a rally going with back-to-back singles to open the frame.  A  Luke Murray  of hope!  But three groundouts would follow, with Nate touching home on Jae's bouncer to third.  That cut it to 21-11, and that was it.  Game over.  Time to  Eric Reibe .  😭

The 21-11 loss drops our  Kimani Young  2026 season record to 0-1.  We are now 0-1 on the road.

The players of the game were Erienne (3-for-3 with 3 runs scored) and Fausto (2-for-2 with a sacrifice fly and 3 rbi).

Notes & Numbers

• First things first:  Just like last year, Eric had the EPs' first base hit of the season.  He also scored the first run of the year.  Caleb got our first extra-base hit, a triple in the top of the 1st, and also picked up our first rbi.
• Startin' slow:  Since 2015, the EPs are now 4-8 on Opening Day.  We have now lost four consecutive season openers (18-17 to Pretty Reckless; 24-17 to Throwin' Shade; 17-16 to Acid Reign; and now 21-11 to Acid Reign).
• Not bad.  Not really bad.:  Yeah, the 21-11 final score of this game looks bad.  But there's a lot to like about how we did.  For one thing, every batter contributed.  10 of 11 batters had a hit.  8 of 11 batters had multiple hits.  7 of 11 batters scored a run.  7 of 11 batters had an rbi.  As a team, we went 21-for-38, for a .553 team batting average.  The last time we hit that well was 9 games ago versus E.coli Happens in game #2 of last year's Cove Cup Tournament on August 2nd, when we hit .578 and beat them 17-11.  And defensively, we were pretty solid, and made numerous quality plays as detailed above.
• Who's (still) hot?:  Going back to last season, Mike has now had hits in each of his last 6 plate appearances (all singles).
• Milestones (since 2015):  Caleb's 4th-inning flyout was his 350th career at-bat (9th-most all-time).  When Jocelyn singled in the 5th inning, it was her 175th career hit (9th-most all-time).  Jeff's 1st-inning single was the 150th hit of his career (11th-most all-time).  Erienne picked up her 100th career hit with her 5th-inning single (13th-most all-time).  Ron's rbi in the 3rd inning was the 125th rbi of his career (9th-most all-time).

  What the %!#& happened in the bottom of the 5th???

👀◀️5️⃣    A Look Back 5 Years Ago:

2021-01:  Opening Day Loss Scripted in the Stars for EPs, 9-5

May 6, 2021

[Editor's note:  This game recap is a parody of the YouTube channel called "Pitch Meeting", in which host Ryan George plays a Hollywood screenwriter guy comedically pitching real movies to a producer guy, also played by George.  If you are unfamiliar with it, you should probably check out an episode or two (just search "YouTube Screen Rant Pitch Meeting"), as the jokes will land much better.]

Editor Guy:  So, you have a new baseball game recap for me?

Sportswriter Guy:  Yes, sir, I do!  Except that this is actually a softball game recap.

E.G.:  Oh!  Well, what's the difference between softball and baseball?

S.G.:  Absolutely nothing.

E.G.:  Huh.  Then why does it have a different name?

S.G.:  Okay, well, there are a couple of differences . . . 

E.G.:  Such as?

S.G.:  Well, for one thing, softballs are bigger than baseballs.

E.G.:  Oh, playing with bigger balls is tight!

S.G.:  What?!!

E.G.:  So how else is softball different?

S.G.:  Ummm, well, let's see, the ball is usually yellow instead of white . . . 

E.G.:  Okay . . . anything else?

S.G.:  And the bases are closer together . . . 

E.G.:  Uh-huh.

S.G.:  And there's a fourth outfielder . . . 

E.G.:  But is a softball actually softer than a baseball?

S.G.:  Not really, no.

E.G.: Then why do they call it soft-ball?

S.G.:  Look, I'm gonna need you to get off my back about this.

E.G.:  Well, okay, then.  Let me get all the way off of that thing!  So, who's playing in this game?

S.G.:  Okay, well, our heroes of this recap, the visiting team, is this plucky group of men and women called the Empty Pitchers.

E.G.:  Heh, heh, heh.  And what's their real name?

S.G.:  The Empty Pitchers.

E.G.:  Oh, really!  That's an odd name.  Why are they called that?

S.G.:  You see, its actually a play on words, sir.  On one hand, many softball players go out to drink pitchers of beer after their games, so the phrase "empty pitchers" denotes that they've already had a lot to drink.  I guess it kind of implies that they're all alcoholics.

E.G.:  Oh, casual alcoholics are tight!

S.G:  I mean, I guess that is literally true, sir.  Tight, tipsy, sloshed, . . . 

E.G.:  And what's the other meaning of the name?

S.G.:  Well, the player that throws the ball toward the batters is called the pitcher, so "empty" pitchers implies that the pitcher is a soulless husk, devoid of any feeling or emotions at all.

E.G.:  Oh, my god!  That is so dark!

S.G.:  Dark, but inspiring, sir! 

E.G.:  If you say so . . .

S.G.:  I do.

E.G.:  But if there's only one pitcher on the field at a time, then why is the team name pluralized? 

S.G.:  Unclear.

E.G.:  Shouldn't they be called the "Empty Pitcher"?

S.G.:  I don't know.

E.G.:  Fair enough!  So what happens in this softball game?

S.G.:  Well, the Empty Pitchers are taking on this team called the Hartford Stars.  And they're a really good team, a team that the Empty Pitchers have never beaten.  I mean, they're, like, 0-13 all-time against them!  And they're playing at the Stars' home field at Goodwin Park in Hartford.  

E.G.:  So, if the Stars are so good, I imagine that the EPs will have a really hard time scoring any runs at all.

S.G.:  Actually, the EPs score almost immediately.

E.G.:  Oh, really?

S.G.:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You see, Josh leads off with a lined single into left to start the game.  He gets forced out at second on Jon's fielder's choice grounder to shortstop, but then Joe blasts a triple over the left fielder's head to score Jon.  And after Alana's lineout to the shortstop, Nate comes through with a two-out single to plate Joe.  And just like that, the EPs lead 2-0!

E.G.:  Nice!  Well, it sure seems like its going to be hard for the Stars to recover from that deficit!

S.G.:  Actually, it's super easy . . . barely an inconvenience.

E.G.:  Oh, really?

S.G.:  Yeah, they score a pair of runs in the bottom of the inning to tie the score at 2-2.  

E.G.:  Well, dang it.

S.G.:  I agree.  And the Stars could have scored even more runs, but the EP infield turns a nifty 6-4-3 (Caleb to Alana to Joe) double play to end the inning.

E.G.:  Sweet!

S.G.:  Very sweet, sir.  So neither team scores in the 2nd inning, but in the 3rd, Joe singles with one out to get the EPs rolling.  And with two outs, Nate doubles to push Joe over to third base.  So then, Mike lines a single into right-center, and both Joe and Nate come home, and the EPs lead again, 4-2.

E.G.:  Wow, wow, wow . . . wow!

S.G.:  Unfortunately, the Stars' bats go to work in the bottom of the 3rd, and they explode for 5 runs, taking their first lead at 7-4.  

E.G.:  Oh, very inconsiderate opponents!

S.G.:  Indeed.  Neither team scores in the 4th inning, but in the bottom of the frame, Nate makes a great catch of a towering drive deeeeep in foul territory down the left field line. 

E.G.:  Does he make his patented last-second, sliding catch?

S.G.:  Not this time, but its still a nice catch. 

E.G.:  But I like the slide.  I think he should slide.  How come the teams don't just reset and try the play again and again and see if he can make the catch while sliding at the end?

S.G.:  Because that's not how sports work.

E.G.:  Huh. 

S.G.:  So, anyway, in the top of the 5th inning, Josh reaches on an infield single between short and third, but the shortstop throws the ball over the first baseman's head, allowing Josh to scamper to second on the error.

E.G.:  Whoops!

S.G.:  Whoopsy!  The next three batters go down in order, though, so no runs score for the EPs.  The Stars get one run in the home half of the 5th to make it 8-4, but Jon throws a perfect seed from left-centerfield to Mike at third base to cut down Cookie, the Stars baserunner, and end the inning.

E.G.:  I'd like a cookie!

S.G.:  Focus, sir.

E.G.:  Well, we're running out of innings . . . are the EPs going to come back?

S.G.:  Not in the 6th inning, they're not.  The EPs get a single by Caleb, but that's it.  And in the bottom of the 6th, the Stars add an insurance run to increase their lead to 9-4.  So we go to the last inning.  Jenny leads off the 7th with a wicked lineout to the pitcher, before Josh slips a double into a gaping hole in the outfield defense.

E.G.:  Oh, slipping it into gaping holes is tight!

S.G.:  This is starting to make me uncomfortable . . . 

E.G.:  Yeah, no, sorry!  That didn't come out anywhere near how it sounded in my head!

S.G.:  Uh-huh.  Well, ummm, then Jon follows with a double of his own, scoring Josh, and its 9-5! 

E.G.:  I knew it!  The Empty Pitchers are making a comeback!

S.G.:  Not quite, sir.  The next two batters are retired, and the game ends in a 9-5 loss.  That drops the EPs season record to 0-1, and makes them 0-14 all-time against the Stars.

E.G.:  So, I mean, I guess with a record like that, the EPs would never schedule the Stars again.

S.G.:  Nope.  Never ever.  Ever.  There's no way they'd be that masochistic.

Tuesday, June 22, 2021  --  Hartford Stars @ Empty Pitchers

Tuesday, August 10, 2021  --  Empty Pitchers @ Hartford Stars

Notes & Numbers

• Simply the Best:  The player of the game was Joe, who went 2-for-4 with a triple, 2 runs scored and an rbi.  A close second was Josh (3-for-4, with a double and a run scored).
• Getting Out of the Gate:  With this loss, the EPs are now 3-5 on opening days since 2014.  Three of those losses are to the Hartford Stars.
• Where's the Bats?:  The EPs scored only 5 runs on Thursday.  Last season, we scored as few as 5 runs only once, in a 20-5 loss to Caught Lookin' on September 17th.  The good news?  The Stars only scored 9 runs.  Only twice last year did we allow fewer than 10 runs -- in a 19-8 win over the Bisons;  and a 9-6 win versus Caught Lookin'.
• Milestones:  Joe has now played in 20 games for the EPs.  Caleb picked up his 60th career hit with his 6th-inning single;  Joe's 3rd-inning single was his 50th career hit.