JimmyJam's Pizza
Home Of The 24" BellyBuster Hoagies
4633 Buttermilk Hollow Rd
West Mifflin, PA 15122
412.461.5700
click here for more information
JimmyJam's Pizza

JimmyJam Speaks

Hello One and All:

Another DNL Season begins. What will we see this year? Will somebody finally knock Andy Brettschneider and the Bowser gang off their perch? Who jumped ship and why? Which team will be the league overachiever and which one will be the underachiever? How many games will Andy Brettschneider manage with a BAC under the legal limit of .08? I got the answer to these questions and others along with some thoughts of my own. Read on.......................

2010 DNL Championship Series: Going into the Championship Series a lot of people around the league thought Klingensmith was going to pull it off vs Bowser and put an end to their 5 year Championship Dominance. I thought they had a pretty legitimate chance to do so, better than anybody else the past 5 years. They had the pitching to keep the Bowser bats in check, not necessarily stop them all together but slow them down. Other than Game 1 vs Mulligans, the Klingensmith Pitchers kept that potent offense in check enough to beat them. Personally, I thought Klingensmith went into panic mode after Game 3. I gotta tip my hat to Mike Sikorski for trying to extend the series to a 5th game but coming back on 2 days rest usually doesn't make for a happy ending. Given proper rest Mike can still chew up any team in the league and spit them out and do so without even a burp. Bowser hit their stride at the right time even though at the mid point in the regular season they were on the outside looking in, standings wise. After one particular loss they were doing some serious soul searching on the bench. Even though all the elements were in place for Klingensmith to knock off the champs, I just had a gut feeling Bowser was not going to be denied. Trust me when I tell you this, you have not heard the last from Klingensmith, not by a long shot.

Team by Team:
Bowser: For the past 6 years I have had to take Andy Brettschneider to his annual championship lunch down the Waterfront at Longhorn. As usual, his bartab exceeds his food tab. This past one he asked in between gulps of beer "Did I make you proud yet, James?" Of course he did! Recently Andy has made overtures about taking the entire season seriously. Winning both the Regular Season and the League Championship. I think last season may have snapped the Bowser crew back to reality. At one point around the halfway point Bowser was on the outside looking in as far as the playoff picture was going. They had just gotten beat at the Winkledome and there was some serious soul searching going down amongst the ranks. They got their act together and played well during the 2nd half of the regular season then kicked it in overdrive during the playoffs. They got all they could handle from Clancy's but survived and then took care of business vs Klingensmith for a 6th straight DNL Strap. They needed their A Game for Klingensmith, anything less and the Klingers would have smoked them. Do I think Bowser can win both the regular season title and the championship? Well let's take a look here, they brought in "BG" Brian Grise to anchor Centerfield, Corey Rodgers has come back to baseball after a year away and they also landed Sean Samsa. I got a good look at this kid while he played for Swissvale Legion. He was definitely one of the best players in the section last summer so they got a good one there. Now if Andy and crew do indeed take the entire season very seriously then I can definitely see them taking both crowns but as they say "A leopard never changes it's spots" I'm thinking 2nd place in the regular season for this squad.

Klingensmith: The runnerups look to be largely intact and added Jeff Pingor to presumably be Mike Sikorski and Scott Manko's catcher. They have the rotation to keep them in every single game they play in. They don't have the most potent offense in the league but they'll hit well enough to win a lot more often than not. This is the team I look for to win the Regular Season title.

Harvey Wilners: The team formerly known as Mulligans should still be fine offensively. Consistent pitching will ultimately determine this team's fate. Making the playoffs is a no brainer here. The only question I have is how many times Kuzz will get tossed and how many of those ejections are caught on JamCam (2 were caught last year)

Quinn Construction: One of the more youthful teams in the league. Tom's penchant for playing small ball often drives his opponents nuts. Tom's constant chirping at the Umps drives those guys nuts even though it is pretty entertaining at times. I'm thinking these guys may make a splash this year and make the playoffs. Who knows, they may make a run in there playoffs too. We'll see how things pan out during the regular season. A returning Meesh will add some mound depth. Could good ol Meesho provide that final piece that could propel Quinn towards a potential Championship? I was disheartened when Meesh quit baseball to play softball like some ol Ham and Egger. I will be at one of the games he pitches and I will lead the cheers " Ham and Egg-er clap clap clapclapclap"

Clancys: These guys gave Bowser some fits in the playoffs last year and came close to sending them packing. I'm kind of on the bubble about what to think of them this year. I'm hearing a lot of this one's playing and this one isn't. If everybody plays for them that is supposed to then I can see them having another good year however if they lose a couple key guys that could change a lot of things. I'm gonna talk more about them at the mid season point when I know for sure who is in and who isn't on the team.

Grahams: This team has gotten better each year for the last few years. This EF based team is ready to make the next step I believe. EF has had quite a bit of success the last few years on the High School and Legion levels so I don't see why it won't carry over to the DNL. This team could be this years overachiever.

Steel Valley: This years new entry to the DNL is a pretty young squad and I dont expect too much from them out of the gate. I'm not totally writing them off but I really don't think they'll be setting the world on fire their 1st year. I can see them doing some damage in a few years when these youngsters learn the league and add a few of the Steel Valley underclassmen.

The Commish & Supporting A Team:

  I have people who I am close with promise me the moon and then some if I sponsored this or donated money to that only to have them turn around and totally stooge me. The ol "Take the money and run" routine. When somebody pulls that on me then when I get their letter the following year looking for more money then I file that letter in it's proper place::::flush::::I.  THE TEAM --- the majority of the players, should support their sponsors a lot better than they do. Instead of just the same 2 or 3 people going up the place from time to time... when somebody puts out 4 figures to sponsor a team then the return sure as hell should be better than the same 2 or 3 popping in once a week. Too many people take sponsorship for granted. Anymore, I make people earn their bones. The days of factions burning me are over. If you're not a customer then don't even think about asking. As far as The Commish Nick Donato goes, we go back quite a long time. I know for a fact he is doing all he can to expand the league. As the saying goes"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink". Baseball around here just isn't as big as it once was so expanding the league is easier said than done. The Fed League is a mere shell of itself, Legion is down to 30 teams in the County, Palomino had a little growth spurt some years ago but they aren't what they crack themselves up to be. You can polish a turd all you want but at the end of the day it's still a turd. Like many others, I'd like to see the league get back to 10 teams or so. Everybody in the league needs to be good ambassadors. Work with Nick and not against him. When people would grumble about him being biased when umpiring, he removed himself from umpiring DNL games. I had Nick a few games last year in Legion and trust me, he wasn't biased.

League Predictions/Shenanigans

1st Homerun of 2011: The 1st Homerun of the 2011 DNL season will be hit approximately 2 hours after the completion of a game down Winklevoss when an unnamed player touches all 4 in the backseat of his SUV down the far end of the Winkledome parking lot. Said player will hop out of the backseat and run the bases stark naked. Said player will also leave a nice clump laying just short of 3rd base when the girl yells out the window"Hey you jerk....the condom broke"

1st Stolen Base of 2011: A local crack addict will run onto Clairton field and pull 3rd base out of the ground and proceed to run towards a nearby pawn shop in hopes of scoring a 20 spot for the base. His mad dash is stopped quite abruptly by a speedy BG who tackles the offending junkie, beats the bejesus out of him and returns the bag to its proper place. Later in the game BG will legitimately steal 2nd base for the 1st official stolen base of the season.

1st ejection of the year: It wont be a matter of if Jeff Kuzma gets ejected, it's a matter of when. However this year will be a bit different when it comes to ejections and Jeff. When a Harvey Wilners player is called out trying to stretch a double into a triple Jeff will go ballistic as usual. Before the umpire can toss Jeff from the game though Jeff turns the tables and runs the umpire from the game. As Jeff runs onto the filed he will say "Lump, turn JamCam on this will be good". The Umps ejection will be caught on camera.

Another DNL 1st: Andy Brettschneider will set a new precedent for drunkedness during a game when he staggers out to the mound to make a pitching change and face plants onto the pitching rubber and promptly passes out. Players and Coaches from both teams will attempt to snap Andy out of his beer induced slumber by splashing water and gatorade on his face, finger flicking him on the nutsack, the ever gassy Jim Onder will even beef stew him! It won't be til Corey Rodgers pours a Miller Lite on his face that revives the groggy Andy. When Andy gets his wits back about him he immediately benches Corey for "wasting a perfectly good can of beer". All this is captured on JamCam and splashed on Facebook, YouTube ect. Conan O'Brien finally picks up on it and makes it fodder for his opening monolog.

So there you have if folks. See ya at the Mid Season break.

Please note the above story is from the writer and not from anyone in the DNL (including, but not limited to, the league office, the teams, the players, the coaches, the team staffs, the newspaper and the umpires)

JimmyJam's Pizza
Home Of The 24" BellyBuster Hoagies
4633 Buttermilk Hollow Rd
West Mifflin, PA 15122
412.461.5700
click here for more information
JimmyJam's Pizza